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Seraph grows wings and loses saddle bags.

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Postby seraph » Mon Aug 06, 2007 5:15 pm

:D thanks guys. You're awesome.

Milkyway - Yes I did have a good night :) So all is not lost. And did my first session of C25 yesterday. It was so easy.

Loveat116 - thanks for the advice. I will definitely be working my plump ass until my bday. And I'm going to buy myself something nice to wear.

Madeline - Yes that's me in the pic. Thanks :oops: It's the only one I have on my bro's computer and since I'm staying with him for the mo I figured i'd just use it. My ex is already leaving me messages and crying etc. I still love him so it hurts me that he's sad but I know that if I really meant that much to him he would have made the effort when it counted. But I must admit, I do get some evil satisfaction out of the fact that he's falling apart :twisted:

I'm going to write here a bit later about my weight loss plans for this week. Just popping in now to catch up on everyone's weekends. Seeya later ;)
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Postby grugwashere » Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:25 pm

Hey Seraph, sounds like you are doing very well! i definately think you will be able to be 70 by ur birthday...

its a shame about ur bf... me and mine are often on and off :(
SW:91kg
CW:75kg
GW: Somwhere in the 60's for now

Next mini goal:73kg
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Thu Aug 09, 2007 1:10 pm

Hi seraph, It's good to see you are doing well. sounds like this is a bit of a pattern with your bf, so i hope you are able to come to a good decision about it.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby seraph » Thu Aug 09, 2007 5:03 pm

Hey everyone. Thanks for your messages. My eating hasn't been great for the last couple of days. I need to just shake myself and get back on track. I tend to hide away from reality when things get difficult and drift through a kind of limbo where I don't want to make the effort to do anything properly. I think I need to let the BF go. Keeping in contact with him is just hurting me and and know that getting back together will also hurt me. I need to cut him off :(

I went to the doc a couple of days ago to get some blood test results and they don't look good :( I've got stress induced leucocytosis. Basically my body reacts to stress in the same way it would if I was hit by a car or something. Very rare. Anyway, I have to change my whole lifestyle and see a therapist or it could eventually kill me. So not feeling all that positive right now. Feel like the path I was on has suddenly taken an abrupt turn with this happening and the bf and work stuff etc.

So I have to go on this special diet. It seems gross. I have to eat fricken seeds. I hate that. But hopefully it'll help with the weight too. He also upped my thyroid meds so that might also make it a bit easier and i'll feel less tired all the time.

So today is the day of planning. I told bf last night that I needed to not see him again (which I felt crap doing coz i was supposed to go to dinner with him for his bday on saturday). It had to be done. I tied up some work projects that have been hanging over my head. So today I'm going to plan my diet and exercise stuff carefully for the next 2 weeks and stick with it. I also need to submit my masters thesis by the end of the year so I'm going to put it into mini goals and make sure I achieve one a week. Then will go shopping for all the disgusting goodies that i'm going to be living on and rid my place of junk food.

Wish me luck
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Thu Aug 09, 2007 5:05 pm

oh hope you feel better soon. you definately dont need the stress of your ex boyfriend mate.
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Postby grugwashere » Thu Aug 09, 2007 5:11 pm

aw that sounds yucky :( hand in there babe you will be ok.

congratulations for putting your foot down with bf... :)
SW:91kg
CW:75kg
GW: Somwhere in the 60's for now

Next mini goal:73kg
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Postby ali » Thu Aug 09, 2007 6:28 pm

Hey, sounds like your having a bit of a rough time lately. I hope you feel better soon and everything starts to sort itself out. I know its hard when its time to say goodbye to an ex but it is a good thing to do. When you stay in contact with them it just hurts you both too much, well thats what ive experienced...

Good luck with your weight loss plans and I hope things start getting better for you soon!

Stay positive! :D
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GOAL 2: 56KG
GOAL 3: 53KG
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Postby milkyway » Thu Aug 09, 2007 7:21 pm

Hey there - everyone's probably said this already, but it WILL get easier. I am still friends with my ex husband (he and his wife and baby are coming over for dinner on Monday :P) but it took a long time and living on opposite sides of the world for us to get to where we are today, some seven years later. We don't see each other all the time or anything like that, just the occassional catch up and telephone call and emails. We still really care about each other, but couldn't see a future together. Jeez it hurt at the time, but stopping seeing each other really helped. I broke up with him and felt like I was comforting him at the same time, which is not something you should do - mixed messages. So my advice is to stay clear of each other for about six months to a year (I left the country! :P) and then, if you feel like having contact, do it then. It's just so raw and fresh now, it's like knocking the scab off the wound all the time so you never get to heal :(

I think you're doing really well considering all the stresses at the moment - illness and break up. You hang in there and we're here if you need us :)
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
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SW: 74.3kg - 1/1/09
CW: 71.1kg - 3/5/09
GW 62kg
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Postby seraph » Thu Aug 09, 2007 11:52 pm

Thanks everyone. It really helps to come on here and see all those replies. I can't really talk to my bro about it because he has his own shite to deal with and I don't want my family to know how sick i am. They've had a lot to deal with in the last few years so it'll just make it worse. I don't understand what's happened but I've reached a point where I feel so crap about the way I look that I almost want to take loads of appetite suppressants and stop eating all together. I know that it's not the right thing to do and will slow down my metabolism etc and probably make me a lot sicker but I can't get the idea out of my head. Maybe it's my way of getting control in my life. Not sure.

I'm going to try drag my depressed butt out of bed later and go for a run. Might make me feel better. Also gonna have a nap and read. I've got the day off and have nothing to do with myself. How sad is that?? Normally I'd spend the day with bf but that's out of the question. My brother is on his own mission so I'm alone in the house. hmmmm.... maybe I should develop plans to take over the world!
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Fri Aug 10, 2007 8:50 am

oh wish i had days where i didnt know what to do with myself hehe. when heidi is asleep i like to sit down and do some puzzles in my magazines, read books, listen to music, clean up a little, and do a workout.

you know you dont need the appetite supressents you just need lots of fresh air :) what is it like living in sth africa? i have been to many parts of africa but johannesburg was just a stop over at the airport for us :(
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Fri Aug 10, 2007 9:36 am

what are we doing tonight brain?
same thing we do every night pinky...try to take over the WORLD!!!!

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35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Postby ali » Fri Aug 10, 2007 9:47 am

Just relax and enjoy yourself! Going for a run should really make you feel better, exercise always makes me feel better! :D

I went through the same thoughts as you. I was desperate to take appetite suppresants and just lose the weight really fast and be done with it. I kept telling myself that once I had lost the weight, then I would start exercising and eating right to maintain the weight. But that doesnt work. As soon as you come off them you put it all back on and that would make you feel worse.

Also, some of those medications are really bad for you. There is no quick fix to weight loss, unfortunately. But I think its a lot better and more rewarding to do it the hard way! And you will be healthy too.

I really hope things start getting better for you soon. You deserve to be happy! :D

Whenever your feeling down, just come talk to us! Please dont give up, because that will just make you feel worse! I know, Ive been there so many times!

Remember: "Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever" - Lance Armstrong. (he should know about pain! Lol)

I hope you feel better soon! And enjoy your day off! :D
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GOAL 1: 59KG - 30/12/07
GOAL 2: 56KG
GOAL 3: 53KG
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