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Esoterics Diet Journal

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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:26 am

EWW yucky! but different cultures enjoy different things :) i am feeling better now thanks sara for thinking of me :)
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Postby sassi » Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:38 am

i love felafels, but a felafel in a hamburger roll just seems kinda wrong! last time i was in hong kong they had a special burger - and it was the hamburger patty dipped in a pepper sauce before going on the bun. the ads made it look ewwww!

do you find it tiring living there sara? i lived overseas for 4 years, but in an english speaking country and there were times when it just made me tired - always explaining a different culture/accent & dealing with stereotypes.

are you in cairo if you're clsoe to giza?
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Postby esoteric » Tue Sep 18, 2007 8:59 am

OMG tired doesn't apply to me, sometimes I can't stand it. The stare factor and always hearing another language. I have to kick that negativeness in the rear end, or is that normal?

I've been here 11 years I feel like I might not fit exactly in with Americans and I don't really fit in with Egyptians either. I think I am going through a mid-life crisis. :mrgreen:

Can it start at 35 years of age? I think with 4 kids premature mid-life crisis might be the best way to explain the emotions I feel from time to time. Thank God it's no longer depression just a feeling like I want or need something more.

I guess that is why I am trying my hardest to lose weight, because I want more for myself and I need that personal satisfaction of accomplishing something.

Actually I live in Giza, you can't tell where Giza ends and Cairo begins I never see any signs for the cities.

My husband was saying how nice austraila is and how there is less crime and problems there. I am wondering how to go about relocating there and if I can get a good job. It's a thought I am tinkering around with, at least in au I think I might look like others, dress like others and everyone speaks English.

Do they like Americans there in general or are they as it is in Asia, Europe and Middle East, feel that Americans are loud, obnoxious, stupid, have no style and are hated? I can't help if it is a sediment that they feel that towards Americans, I blame that on our leader. That's as far as I get into politics, after that I really could care less about politics only that I can get along great with others and take care of my family. I would hate to go over there and end up homeless. :lol:

Ok so my diet today.

B: a wheat pita with 2 thin slices of beef luncheon and mustard

L: 2 wheat pitas with 2 thin slices of beef luncheon and mustard :roll: and 1 cucumber and 1 tomato

D: 1/2 cup of rice, boiled chicken thigh/leg, and salad

1 pepsi max, and water throughout the day and just now a handful of dates.

No exercise :( came home and had to write an email to my aunt, msn live is so slow, don't know what happened to regular hotmail, then I had to go buy school supplies and the darn computers broke down so I waited like an hour or so in the lines. Kids need things for school tomorrow. Got back so late and I have to wake up early, but here I am typing my personal progress, I can see the bags under my eyes tomorrow.
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Tue Sep 18, 2007 9:29 am

hey sara sounds like you need a holiday to australia for a rest and to also see what it is like :) hehe. australia is a multicultural country :) you will fit right in here. i know that americans and canadians dont like being compared to one another but at our local shop we have a lovely canadian couple and if i didnt know where they came from i would have thought they were american :)
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Postby esoteric » Wed Sep 19, 2007 5:14 am

Thanks Kate I might take you up on that. I don't know about being compared to Canadians I like to think that we are the same, maybe they don't like it, but I like Canadians they are peaceful and love the great out doors, who couldn't love that!

Brunch: Well today I ate dry wheat bread it's sold like that and 1 plain yogurt I dipped the bread in the yogurt and actually like it like that.

Dinner: boiled beef, basmati rice and salad, I actually cut down on the rice serving :)

I weighed myself after eating and its at 84, I do hope that is a good sign. Usually after eating it always seemed to go up many kilos. lol

I will go to do my exercise right now. I cheated myself yesterday with being too tired, and I stayed up until 3am; then had to wake up at 6. I tried to lay down for 2 hours today after work, but kept thinking of a wall decoration I have in mind for work. An hours worth of thinking :roll: .

Decided get up and walk that is one of the most important things for me in my day, I got on internet but will go to do my exercise.

Have a great day!

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Postby kate_turner2000 » Wed Sep 19, 2007 8:35 am

hey sara :)

isnt it funny how when you plan to do something- like resting, it never happens lol. especially when your mind is racing a mile a second and you have kids to worry about. sounds like your eating is going really well :) how do you feel in yourself?
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Postby sassi » Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:59 am

hi sara

i had a feeling you might say that about living in egypt (beyond tiring). it's like constantly being on a rollercoaster of emotions. i think the negativeness is normal, but it's good not to let it take hold too strongly! i understand about not fitting in either place - i came home after 2 years of being away & wasn't totally happy living O/S but didn't feel ready to come home either. it was weird. i was definitely ready when i came back after the 4 years though.

i'm sure you'd be able to get a good job in australia - there always seems to be a shortage of teachers.

i think overall it might seem like australians have a negative view of america/americans, but as you say that is based around your leader! and my personal opinion is that while that may be the general opinion, australians will still accept people individually and give you a chance! i hope that makes sense? it's definitely a great place to live!

hope you've managed to get some extra rest since your post :)
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Postby esoteric » Sun Sep 23, 2007 5:43 am

Thanks Sassi, yeah I am trying to refocus on just for today and trying to weed out the negative thoughts so I can be happier and healthier. I feel better that way.

Now to dust the cobwebs growing on my progress, it hasn't been good, my hubby's friend brought over crossiants and sweets. :cry: I ate then I made myself throw up. Then my hubby had a birthday on the 20th and it was choccy cake that I made, I couldn't resist. So I ate then I made myself throw up. I didn't feel guilty or like a loser or anything. But I didn't want the extra calories, thought what could it hurt.

But come on Friday I had totally no energy to move at all. Said to myself this is "Totally" bad. No energy not to even to get up nor to exercise and that was in the morning. So I said to myself "ok, I will eat what I want for today" get my energy back "then I will have to work it off."

So friday a crossiant, sandwich w/2 eggs and melted cheese, a very small piece of chocolate cake, basbosa I shared with the baby, and later that evening a big bowl of spegetti and I thought about a trip to the bathroom and said to myself that lack of energy is not worth it, its ok to splurge and be healthy then to kill myself over my weight, I'm in this for the long haul. If I continued like that I would not be able to workout and I would be sick mentally and physically. So I held it down and...

I walked in front of the telly for 3 hours and 10 min. Burned 1433 calories, I thought that should make up for the crossiant at least.

Prior to that day I was 83 kilo but I went back up to 84, it doesn't bother me that I ate and I kept it down. I am happy I made my choice and I will face the consequences of that splurge.

I post this because if you ever think purging will help it will only push farther from the goal then towards it. Lack of energy, lack of exercise, obsession with eating and binging. Not to mention a bigger appetite and more frequent eating with less healthy choices.

Or going back to eating healthy, splurge once in a great while be happy about it, because I am human and I like food, just too much of it daily is a big no, no, and get back on track with positive energy to continue.

I like the latter better. I feel more positive, focused and ready to continue. I'm sticking to this.

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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sun Sep 23, 2007 9:10 am

hey sara

thanks so much for sharing that with us. i know that some people here will take that advice on board when the going gets tough and they might think twice about a trip to the loo. its hard to confess something like that because when we are genuinely sick, no one likes the feeling of it, but to force yourself to do it isnt good either. im glad that you had done some thinking about it and tried to reverse the 'damage' of the food by exercising. its a much healthier option and in the long term the vomiting will damage everything inside you as well as out. never mind about the gain, today is a new day :)
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Postby shelbel » Sun Sep 23, 2007 11:53 am

Hey Sara
Thank you so much for putting that out there, it must have taken some real courage on your part to admit and share that. I'll admit there have been times when ive thought about doing it, you know 'just this once' but after reading what you've written i know i wont ever do it, its simply not worth it. Thank you Sara!
Highest Weight - 93kgs
Current Weight - 68.3kgs
Goal Weight - 65kgs

The wise man Stephen King once said - The only way to go on, is to go on. To say 'i can do this' even when you know you cant

You'll find me in the almost there section :)
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Postby esoteric » Sat Oct 06, 2007 8:44 pm

Ok so its been a few weeks since I have posted anything. Have been very down and out, not to mention having caught the flu.

I feel like I have been addicted to eating, I am eating whatever whenever but just not to the large portions as it was before.

My belly seems to have lost that starting to tone look and seems flabby as ever.

I ate spagetti for breakfast one bowl and I cannot tell you how I am fighting myself to eat another bowl and it isn't even like I really like it. I feel the need to stuff and I feel hungry.

So for an few week update I can count on one hand the number of times I have exercised, ate without care.

Only one good thing that has happened in regards to my weight is that it is still the same. 83.5 when I weighed myself this morning. It has been going up and down but pretty much stays the same.

I really want to lose but at the same time I feel like a tiger ready to attack my plate of prey and not tigger the tiger either.

I haven't posted cuz I am not making progress and I feel at times down. I don't like being down and don't wish to pull others into a bottomless pit.

Oh I want to eat but I know after eating all I will want to do is eat some more.

I didn't forget anybody at all, it's this blah lets eat type of feeling I have been in for the past few weeks, started with guests coming over (no exercise) going to family's house (no exercise) cleaning guy came (can't exercise) I left him with my Hubby and went to sleep. Birthday party at school and so on and so forth to the point I didn't forget but I crave for more fattening things.

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