Wont stop eating or wont exercise?
Seems like a very contraversial question right, but I'm not exactly asking it.
My DH is under the impression that if you are overweight, its just because you eat too much and dont exercise, or because you are lazy.
I myself know that this isnt the case but he just cant change his way of thinking.
He says you want to lose weight, you just go out and do it.
You go to the bakery for a loaf of bread, you see all the cakes but you just don't buy them.
You have emotional issues or past issues that may have contributed to being the way you are now, you just get over them and forget they happened. move on and then everythings fine and dandy.
Its something we have been over(okay they have turned into a couple of screaming, with me ultimately crying, matches)
Everything goes okay for a few weeks and then it gets rehashed again and he cant see why I havent gotten over things already.
Im the first to admit that I have issues, with the way I was raised and the way I was treated, things that have happend to me, past relationships and being overweight my whole post pubescant life. He just cant see why they keep coming up. Especially on this weight loss journey.
I've lost 14kg, which is 1/4 of the weight I need to lose and I think I have done an amazing job. I'm exercising every day, I have a great atitude this time, I have ambition and drive and goals.
The thing he has the most problem with is that even though Im doing so well, I cant see the end result. I cant imagine what I'll be like when I reach that goal, I cant even see how I will be when I am half way there. Im trying to concentrate on the here and now. On the nect kilo, on the next dress size dropping, on the next days exercise. Its HOW I HAVE to deal with it, but instead of letting me go he always seems to be pushing me into trying to think like him.
I love that he can picture how I am going to look. I have never been slim the whole time I have been with him. He's never pushed me to do anything and he has been very encouraging, He tells me how good I am going but he always seems focussed on the end result.
He tells me he can't wait till Im slim and we can do new things and enjoy new things together. He says it will be like being with a different person and I can so totally understand that. But its the lack of him trying to understand what Im thinking and how I am dealing with it all that hurts.
What I do want him to try and understand is that I love his support and encouragement but I need him to validate that my thoughts and feelings and the way I do things is the way it has to be for me. I dont even expect him to understand any of it. Just know that its me and the way I am.
I have always supported him in anything he has ever wanted to do, in the choices he makes, the things he does, his habits and collections and his opinions and feelings I just want to feel like he's doing the same with me.
Does anyone here have any thoughts or feelings about this? Am I wrong? Anyone else know anyone who thinks the same way?