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I'm back and have realised my problem

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I'm back and have realised my problem

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Tue Oct 05, 2010 9:45 am

Some of you MAY remember me, I was on here a good while ago. Long story short, about 4 years ago I lost 35kg, but returned to uni and had a couple of injuries which set me back, fell back in to some old bad habits and gained back about 15kg's. Trying to lose it again but am finding it very difficult and it is because of emotional eating. This is exceedingly annoying because I KNOW what I need to do to lose the weight (and am about sick of well meaning comments like "how about just cutting out one snack per day? Or replacing full cream milk with skim?"), I just can seem to get myself to follow the plan! My problems are the following:

1) I'm doing a PhD and writing my thesis. I find this very anxiety producing (over an above Uni which is anxiety central to start with - fear of failure is a real pain in the butt) and tend to procrastinate rather than just do the bloody thing. Guess what heads the top of my list for procrastination tasks?? Yup, food.

2) I get bored/lonely after dinner when hubby is generally out in his shed playing cars. Guess what I tend to get in to? Yup, I raid the pantry.

I have come up with a number of strategies to combat this (I should be able to, I'm studying clinical psychology :roll: ) However I still find it very difficult to beat (let that be a lesson to you all - just because you know how it should/can be done, doesn't mean it's easy). My strategies include:

1) Being aware of my high risk times and be on alert to my behaviour and thinking patterns - have a plan to deal with it!
2) Being aware of my permissive thoughts and use cognitive strategies to attempt to address them
3) Using distraction (maybe I should actually work on my thesis hey?)
4) Using chewing gum to help delay until the craving passes
5) Drink water for the same effect.
6) Limit access to procrastination food by only taking enough food for the day and limiting any cash I have access to at Uni.

It's all very good in theory, and I find if I can get the gum into my mouth it works well, but I struggle with the "I'll just have one X and then I'll get the gum" which tuns into 2, into 5, into the whole packet etc. No fricking wonder I can't lose anything aaarrrggghh!!!! All the while I'm thinking, "no, put the (insert offending item here) down and get the gum!" but somehow my mouth has a mind of its own.

So here's what I'm doing - Being easy on myself for slip ups and celebrating any wins (let's face it, this isn't going to change over night). Using support such as this forum and a weight loss buddy I have to report to or use as distraction. And trying to "plan the work and work the plan".

I would like to start by recording one success: I used to find it impossible to go to the supermarket without buying at least one chocolate. Since I noted this as a high risk time, I've managed to knock that one off the list just by being aware of it. :mrgreen:

P.S. my exercise is more or less fine, I do at least an hour a day of cycling (2 on days I cycle into town), plus walking the dog. I also generally eat pretty healthily, I just eat too much of it (although a do have a weak spot for junk at parties). Having been down this road before I probably know more about healthy eating and exercise than most skinny minnies - it's just a matter of actually DOING it.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Re: I'm back and have realised my problem

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Tue Oct 05, 2010 12:21 pm

Welcome back, BD! It's great to see you here again.

As one PhD victim to another: don't beat yourself up over your weight. You'll be going through enough stress over the term of your candidature without adding more guilt onto your plate. Quite a few people have told me over the last few years that losing weight is impossible while doing a PhD. I lost weight for a while, but the moment the stress returned so did the weight. I've been maintaining, more or less, and I think that's an achievement in itself. I think the stress hormones alone prevent much weight loss during a PhD candidature. Personally I've found it more productive to think in terms of managing my health during this time rather than focusing on how much I weigh.

Good luck with both the PhD and with your weight. Any time you want to vent about either please feel free to message me!

cheers,
Ali
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Re: I'm back and have realised my problem

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Tue Oct 05, 2010 8:46 pm

Thanks Ali!! Nice to be remebered.
I actually did fair bit of work on the T-word today! And I didn't do anything silly like ea chocolate or muffins. Woot for me!

ALSO

Just wanting to do a little happy dance...

Got home to my lonely house (the man is at work on evening shift), heated up the dinner I'd pre-prepared last night and walked the dog while it heated up. Ate it. Washed dishes. Jumped on weightloss.com.au. Stuck some gum in my mouth despite the fruit bread calling my name...

It's now nearly bed time and I haven't snacked at all!!!!

*Happy dance* Go Tegan! Go Tegan! Go Tegan! *Happy Dance*

:mrgreen:
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: I'm back and have realised my problem

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Wed Oct 06, 2010 11:40 am

Woo hoo! That's excellent work, Tegan!

How is the t-word coming along? Or should this be a t-free zone to give you some time away from the torture? (Hey, t for thesis, t for torture! Coincidence? I really think not. :lol: )
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Re: I'm back and have realised my problem

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Wed Oct 06, 2010 12:36 pm

Neither is it a coincidence that theses rhymes with.... yeah well you can figure that one out yourself.

The t-word is actually going well today - I am mid discussion section, trying to fit my results into extant literature and doing a bunch of literature searches (which, by the way, must have been designed by someone with sadistic tendencies). Frustrating because I can't find the stuff I'm looking for, but I'll get there. It's starting to get into some semblance of a structure at least :roll:

And today I allowed myself 2 biscuits at morning tea and rather than sneak the leftover ones I haven't eaten any extras. Yay for me, and yay for accountability partners.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: I'm back and have realised my problem

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Wed Oct 06, 2010 12:51 pm

LOL. Yes, I recently had a discussion with a fellow PhD candidate over what to call the plural of thesis. Theses is appropriate for many, many reasons. :lol:

It sounds like you're on a roll there. I've just finished writing up my discussion, but it's rubbish so I'm going to have to do some heavy editing. I have to add a heap about Mode 2 knowledge production in my methods section too.

Lunch was fettucini with broccoli and a mustard sauce made from soy milk, veggie salt and mustard. Tasted okay, if a bit too mustardy.

Back to the grind. :(
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Re: I'm back and have realised my problem

Postby Dave » Wed Oct 13, 2010 6:55 am

You may not remember me Dawn, but I do you. Your encouragement was greatly received, however I still had troubles with my emotions during that period (2007 or thereabouts) which caused me to fall off the wagon. I've persevered this time round & pretty much focused on my mental side which has been a great help in my eating habits. I do still struggle, but now where near as much, & like wombat suggest...there is much to be made a looking at the small achievements we make as well look towards our much larger goals...well that's how I took it :wink:

Glad you've mad it back and best wishes to you & your husband.
Dave :D
PS...I'm not long back myself and usually stick to the eating diary section.
"Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action"
.................. Image...............
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Re: I'm back and have realised my problem

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:05 pm

I remember you Dave :wink:
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Re: I'm back and have realised my problem

Postby Louisa89 » Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:41 am

Hi!
I found your story really impressive and I don understand all the stress that comes with writing the PhD. thesis. A friend of mine is going through the same thing so, I pretty well understand your fears. But I am sure you will overcome it. I know in some cases the more times passes by the more used to it you get and therefore more relaxed but in a PhD. that isn´t quite the same, because of deadlines. But I am sure that if you have managed before to lose 35 Kg this will also happen. And as you say, you have the knowlegde, I am sure the strength will come along :) Wish you all the best and thanks for sharing you story!
Louisa89
 
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Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:53 pm


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