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Feeling a bit down...

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Feeling a bit down...

Postby rivenriver » Thu Nov 08, 2007 6:01 pm

Love and accept yourself.





But what's the point if nobody else will?
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Postby matchbox » Thu Nov 08, 2007 6:07 pm

awwww darl *hugs* if you love and accept yourself then you're allowing others to do so as well :)

i haven't met you personally but from your posts on here you seem like such a smart, sweet, lovely, caring girl and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot. (i no im so polite haha) never let other people tell you otherwise hun :) you're awesome :)

chin up, and just think - you're doing so well!! if you ever wanna chat feel free to PM me, or i have msn too :)
Have FAITH in yourself
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Re: Feeling a bit down...

Postby help6363 » Thu Nov 08, 2007 6:24 pm

rivenriver wrote:Love and accept yourself.





But what's the point if nobody else will?


Well, darling we all love and accept you here! If anyone does NOT love or accept you they are the losers.

What brought this on? Everything okay??

I don't know what caused you to think this..... I am sorry for whatever it is! If you ever need to talk PM me and I will give you my email address, I have IM so we can chat. If not, no offence taken.

Smile.... I am sure when you do it lights up the room. :D

BIG HUGS!!!!
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Thu Nov 08, 2007 6:47 pm

hhmm are you ok hun? :shock: I dont know what is going on with you, but you are a beautiful intelligent person, and we all love and accept you here :) (((HUGS))) to you hun PM me if u need to talk :) xx
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Postby rivenriver » Thu Nov 08, 2007 7:42 pm

Thanks guys.

*sigh* I don't know why I feel like this at the moment really.

I guess I've just been looking at all my friends with their boyfriends and stuff, and wishing someone felt that way about me... I'm kinda pretty, if not in the body then in the hair and the eyes and the smile. And I don't think I'm that much of a pain to be around, most people seem to like me well enough. But I'm also very single. I'm nearly 20, I'm a virgin, I've never had a boyfriend, I've never even been kissed (well once sorta but that's long and complicated and heart-breaking... I don't think it counts.). And if I'm not that bad, then why doesn't anyone want me in that way? But it's not like I go after anyone myself, anyway, and it's selfish to expect anyone to come after me, I guess. Anyway, the only time I dared make an effort is ended terribly.

I dunno, it's silly. It really is. I'm just being silly, and not studying for my exams. That's all.
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Postby Mandie » Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:18 pm

Marti.. I used to think exactly the same thing.

You are AWESOME. And others will see that, and will want you!

You need to be confident, outgoing. You need to get out there and meet new people. You need to ask people out!

I met my bf over the internet and I've never been happier.. he even moved to Perth from Adeliade to be with me :)

Just find some guys you like, chat lots, be flirty, and they will get interested. I'm the queen of flirting now (no, really..) so if you want tips, PM :D
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:21 pm

Hey hun I know what u mean....Im single too, and it can be very lonely, especially when everyone around you are in couples (all my sisters are either engaged or living with their bfs/husbands, all my friends are in relationships or engaged, and me, well Im a 22 y/o single mum, single for 3 years now :shock: ) As far as being a virgin, personally I believe that its better to be a virgin and 'do it' with someone that you really care about/love than to just do it for the hell of it.(ugh if u wanna hear my story, losing it to a guy who turned out to be a loser at 14 then, Ill tell u! :? ) That special someone WILL come along, for now hun, something I have learned myself, is that if you love YOU, then you wont be as concerned with the fact that you are single.....have you thought about maybe taking up a new hobby or something? Good chance of meeting a nice bloke if its a sport ;) hehe Try not to take it personally (easier said than done) but you are a lovely person, and someone will come along and love you for you :) Maybe it jsut isnt your time just yet ;) but it WILL happen :) as long as you love you and you are out there and open to love, it will happen :) xxx
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Postby electrongirl » Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:24 pm

oh sweetie!!

I know how you feel. I felt like that too for so long.

I didn't find my hubby till I was almost 30, but I always knew he was out there.

I believe you will find someone! Just think, at least you havn't had to endure all the p***cks I bet some of us have had to! hehe

Just believe in yourself!
Nikki - Aussie girl living in the USA with her soul mate. My blog: http://aus2usa.blogspot.com/

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Postby yummymummy » Thu Nov 08, 2007 11:10 pm

I think you have to exude confidence and fun to attract good people into your life,
learn to love yourself first then all the other stuff will fall into place
Jody

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Postby help6363 » Fri Nov 09, 2007 1:09 am

rivenriver wrote:Thanks guys.

*sigh* I don't know why I feel like this at the moment really.

I guess I've just been looking at all my friends with their boyfriends and stuff, and wishing someone felt that way about me... I'm kinda pretty, if not in the body then in the hair and the eyes and the smile. And I don't think I'm that much of a pain to be around, most people seem to like me well enough. But I'm also very single. I'm nearly 20, I'm a virgin, I've never had a boyfriend, I've never even been kissed (well once sorta but that's long and complicated and heart-breaking... I don't think it counts.). And if I'm not that bad, then why doesn't anyone want me in that way? But it's not like I go after anyone myself, anyway, and it's selfish to expect anyone to come after me, I guess. Anyway, the only time I dared make an effort is ended terribly.

I dunno, it's silly. It really is. I'm just being silly, and not studying for my exams. That's all.


You are not being silly, you are being HUMAN!

Sweetie, never base your worth on a male or your weight...... you are so much more. Your weight does not define you!

I want share a story with you.....

When I first hit goal weight (the first time) I met this guy and he was something like 200kgs. I was so taken by him but he couldn't believe it and ran away. Fast forward to the present, he has contacted me (well he sent a text message tonight) and you know what...... he said it was nothing about him, it was how he felt about himself at the time.

People (in particular males ..... oh, I bet I get into trouble for that comment hehehe) act strangely but the reasons they do it are mostly NOTHING to do with you, it's to do with them.

Honey, a beautiful gal like you has no reason to be single. There are heaps of dating sites and if a male cannot see all your beauty and how fantastic you are then that male is the idiot!

I am dribbling, huh? SORRY!
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Fri Nov 09, 2007 8:48 am

Honestly, it really is about feeling good in yourself. I had the same thing as a teenager (but didn't we all?) went through the whole "I have to find someone thing" and was always disappointed that the guy I was madly trying to get to like me would run the other way (any wonder?). Then one night I was just out enjoying myself having consciously made the decision to just relax and enjoy myself for once and this hunny of a bloke fell into my life and here we are getting married.

Of course that doesn't give you an answer as to how to make yourself feel better. My suggestion would be to go out and do something you enjoy (for me it's walking or getting busy in something crafty, or go for a coffee with friends or SOMETHING). Maybe try something new that you've nevber done before and meet new friends, or help someone, maybe visit a nursing home or something.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby oostevens » Fri Nov 09, 2007 3:24 pm

rivenriver can i tell u a story.

I am 22 years old. For 20yrs of my life i did not have a bf, had never kissed a guy, and was surrounded by friends who had bfs.

I went through depression i guess u could call it, i hated who i was. I didnt understand why i was how i was, i assumed people were annoyed with me, when they weren't, i thought people were always looking and judging me, but they werent. I hated who i was and i hated that i didnt understand why i felt this way.

I wanted to be someone else. I was always sad and angry at myself, i use to abuse myself verbally. (not a good thing) and i had such a low self esteem. I wanted to go to sleep for ever......

No guy had been interested in me and i felt like i was worthless.

I dont know your beliefs, but God helped me realise i am worth it all, i am priceless. People love me.

2 yrs ago, i met a guy. He shared my first kiss. We fell in love. I have now been married 1.5yrs :)

ha ha i never thought at 22 i would be married. I was convinced i would be a nun! The amount of times i said i hated guys! i have lost count.

You're not alone babe. Don't ever think people dont love or care about you. They do, and we do on here.

You'll meet a guy :) and yes it does happen when u least expect it ha ha people told me that all the time.

You are a great gal! Be happy with the here and now. Cos you won't get that back. Being single is good, you can focus on you and what u want out of life. Being in a relationship changes lots of things, not saying its bad :p but it changes how u feel, i mean ur caring about 2 not 1 :)

If you ever feel down and that no one loves you or that u don't matter, read the lyrics of this song, they rang so true for me, but its cos i wrote them while going through my struggles :)

cheer up mate :)

http://weightloss.com.au/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8904
[*RACHEL*]

YOU CAN DOOO IT!!!!!

[First goal: to reach 80kgs]
[Second goal: to reach 75kgs]

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Postby candycane » Fri Nov 09, 2007 4:38 pm

i wrote an article on being single :P might cheer you up

The Dating Game:

Dating for most people attracts the same response ... as if you had unintentionally muttered the 'c' word. If I had a dollar for the amount of times I have heard from my own eclectic group of girlfriends "oh I know better this time," or the ever popular "I hate men. I'm never dating again," I would be living in a harbour-side apartment. In fact, I myself have been known to say "that's it, I am going to join a convent...no really, I am!"

Interestingly enough I learnt in a lecture (it's funny what you learn studying law) that a friend of my lecturer paid for his much younger mistress to own a harbour side apartment despite her *ahem* extracurricular activities…it never ceases to amaze me what people will do for 'love'.

So, after a 3am sleep deprived 'deep and meaningful' with a male friend I have learned that I know almost nothing about 'the laws of dating' bar the three day rule which I felt was for twats. I simply don't understand why if you meet and are attracted to somebody, you need to wait three days before making contact because you will apparently come off looking over eager. I also ponder whether in the event that a prospective contacts you, you need to wait three days before you reply to them. I actually had a guy text me and say "so, I heard you were supposed to wait three days…" not a good conversation starter.

Apparently my lack of knowledge in this area serves me well. I was patiently educated on the many theories that women live their lives by…adopting the new and ever 'flawless' techniques obsessively to the point that they obliterate any chance they had in the first place. There is a seemingly endless supply of books and articles to help women and men attract their perfect mate, similar to fad diets. If only it was as easy as in the insect world…like flowers attracting bees by certain colours, or the way the firefly attracts mates of the same species with a special sequential light pattern. But I guess nature is not always perfect... one type of female firefly imitates another species' pattern and then eats them upon arrival. Not dissimilar to the women and their 'flawless' techniques.

It is a jungle out there, and I feel rather unprotected. It seems in my (albeit unprofessional) opinion, people set their standards so high that when they fail they will take whatever is left. We are constantly in search of the 'perfect' partner and quite quickly see fault with everyone else's relationships but unfortunately rarely our own.

Magazines portray an impossible standard which the youth of today take upon themselves to imitate or rather, attempt to. Our role models are now Paris Hilton and Snoop Dog, and pages are filled with quizzes on "is he really into you" articles on "how to achieve the best orgasm" or "I had a one night stand and fell pregnant," well generally that's what happens when you have unprotected censored! This is apparently more important then poverty and war which only seems to get a mention if Brad and Angelina are arguing over whether they want their new child to be French or African.

Gone are the days where I can shop for a 'Dr Barbie' for my niece but I am however, able to purchase a doll wearing what looks like lingerie - Barbie has taken a backseat, and her competing dolls seem to belong in a backseat.

"I want a man who looks like Johnny Depp, has a sense of humour like Will Smith, cooks like Jamie Oliver and has the emotional stability of Dr Phil"... its okay, just SMS 'fun' to a $4.95 per minute mobile number and you will meet him, really, would television lie? It's almost like expecting McDonalds to admit that the weird unifying flavour which seems to be in everything from Big Macs to smoothies, has a seemingly addictive quality and is partially contributing to our obesity epidemic.

So, do nice girls and boys finish last? According to almost everyone I know, yes. Unfortunately even the biggest emotion sucking, money eating and all around horrid partner seems to think that they are that 'nice' person, further to this they feel it justified to then blame the failed relationship on their spouse. I learnt of a case in contract law where a man bought a house for the love of his life who threatened to commit suicide. She then promptly moved in with her new boyfriend. Needless to say after 10 years of chasing he finally got the point and wanted his house back.

It's nice to hear that people have found 'real' love; it's just depressing when that love is based on lust and ends up failing.

I am told by men about their horrible exes who used and left them. I am also told by women about their exes who cheated on them and got another woman pregnant, expletives have been omitted.

So what hope is there for the loveless, the hopeful and the desperate? My (once again albeit unprofessional) advice is to…BE YOURSELVES!! Don't let people use you because it isn't your last chance. If they loved you they wouldn't keep hurting you and if they care, they will call…or text…or email. Stop obsessing and reading between the lines, if you need to move on. As a friend once told me her favourite phrase is "I'll get over it" and you will!

If you wouldn't marry them what's the point of being in a relationship with them? You can't change them and you shouldn't feel the need to. If you do get to the marriage point, remember, they are the one that you want to wake up to for the rest of your life, not because it is the next (logical) step. Don't settle for anything less…

And lastly, your biological clock is not ticking. If you think that it is, take to it with an oversized novelty loony tunes hammer. You are an amazing beautiful person who deserves to be treated that way, treat others the same and trust that you will find happiness.


If all else fails…there's always the convent!
Goal: 65-67 kg <-------Ultimate Goal:
For now? No weighing for a few weeks...
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Postby rivenriver » Sat Nov 10, 2007 12:01 am

Thanks everyone so much for your replies. I know I shouldn't do this to myself, I just end up feeling bad, but you gotta some days, I suppose. Anyway, thanks. Heaps.
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Postby charlimc » Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:21 pm

i think if you truely love and accept yourself you wouldnt care if others do or not, you live your life for you and your happiness not to please everyone else... i wish i could take my own advise lol
Charli x
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