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Age difference?

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Age difference?

Postby zeedeveelgirl » Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:54 pm

Hi guys

I've just had an awesome afternoon with this guy, Craig, who I've had a mega crush on for over 2 years.. He was one of the RPM and Body Pump instructors at my previous 2 gyms (we are both at different gyms now).

Anyway, we've always been friendly at the gym, and there was a point in time this year where I was studying and couldn't make it to any of the classes he took, so he didn't see me for a good 6 months. This is where I lost a big chunk of weight. The next time he saw me in July he couldn't stop saying how good I looked. A few weeks later I quit that gym to join another, and when I told him he said we should catch up for coffee sometime..

Fast forward to this Friday just been, I was coming back from my run when I see someone that looks exactly like him driving along the main road my street comes off, except in a different car to what I knew he had.. I txted him anyway and turns out it was him, and we organised to have coffee today!

Had coffee today, sat there chatting for like 2 hours, wandered around the mall for a while and were going to see a movie but there was nothing good on. So we went down to Semaphore (a popular beach area near us) and went and had an ice cream (low fat vanilla yoghurt blend for me, it was delicious!!!) and wandered around. It was just such an awesome afternoon, we chatted non stop and I was really comfortable with him.

He's going to teach me to surf!! And we're going to catch up soon!

ANYWAY, the point of all that babble is... he's 22 yrs older than me... It doesn't bother ME and he looks and acts SO much younger. Until he told me a year or so ago, I thought he was mid 30's at the most.
I just wanted to find out - what do people think about age gaps as big as that? I know if anything was to happen with us it would just be us two who it matters to and stuff, but I was just curious! Have any of you had relationships with people that much older? How did you find it?

Thanks guys :) :)
Em xoxo
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Postby electrongirl » Sun Dec 02, 2007 8:28 pm

I think as long as you both are at the same stages in life, in doesn't matter.

Examples of relationships I know of that have suffered because of age:

My mum and her last boyfriend. She was in her late 40's, he in his 20's. They were VERY happy, except he wanted to have kids one day and my mum has had a full hysterectomy. So she left him because she felt he deserved someone who could give him kids.

My ex and his last gf (we are friends) he was 30 and she was 19. He wanted to settle down and she wanted to travel and work. So they broke up.

HOWEVER, my sisters best friend married someone about 30 years older than her and they are so very happy.

Now I know you havn't even started properly seeing this guy and here I am talking about marriage, but you see what I am saying, I hope.

As long as you both are on the same page, have the same plans etc, age means nothing.
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Re: Age difference?

Postby electrongirl » Sun Dec 02, 2007 8:31 pm

zeedeveelgirl wrote:Hi guys

He was one of the RPM and Body Pump instructors at my previous 2 gyms (we are both at different gyms now).



LUCKY GIRL!!! hehehehe
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Postby zeedeveelgirl » Sun Dec 02, 2007 9:53 pm

Yeah I get what you mean, Nikki, thanks for that :P We were actually talking about marriage today because down at Semaphore there were wedding photos being taken... We both share the same views on the types of wedding we'd want if we ever got married (keeping it simple) and even though he's in his early 40s, he's continually trying and learning new things, he hasn't ruled travel out and he's not tied to Adelaide in any way... I dunno, we just think the same about a lot of things..
But no harm in getting to know him and see where things go! That's IF he was interested in the first place!!! But he seemed a bit keen today, said how he was really happy to have heard from me and what a nice surprise it was, how he'd had a really good time etc etc. And the offering to teach me to surf was really nice too :D

It's just funny that I've had a crush on him for soo long and I've finally gotten to spend time with him outside the gym!!
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Postby electrongirl » Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:25 pm

hehehe I'm excited for you!!!!

I love this stuff!!!
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Postby Mummyof3 » Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:10 am

It's just funny that I've had a crush on him for soo long and I've finally gotten to spend time with him outside the gym!!


awwww isn't that just sweet :) :) :)


as for the age, if you both happy, then whats the deal, I mean yeah some people may not agree because of the age difference, just as long as he ends up treating you well, is my take!!! better to go with some one older who treats you like a princess then someone your age who treats you like crap !!!!!! :roll:

Good on you girl,,,

I'm excited for you two.....
*FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION*

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Postby milkyway » Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:23 am

Hey Em - I reckon it completely depends on the two individuals. There will no doubt come a point where the age difference is apparent but it's how you both respond to the situation that's important. The biggest age gap I've ever had was about 12 years and that was no problem as he was a very 'youthful' guy with such an active lifestyle.

Go for it chickee!!! :)
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
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Postby Rachie » Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:35 am

Hi Em, Ive just joined and read your post. I say go for it. If goes somewhere great, if not you have made a great friend!! Either way its good news. As for the age difference- it doesn't matter. SO long as you are happy!
Enjoy your day :D
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Postby rivenriver » Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:14 am

That's heaps cool! Go you!

As far as age difference, I have 3 cases to offer advice with... one is fictional...

So yeah, this book I read had a 17 year old girl fall in love with her late 30's teacher. They'd known each other for years and were very close. Years later they were still together, and had kids and all. They were both concerned at first about what other people would say (cradle/grave robbing, etc), so if you want anything to happen, you have to be prepared for that, cos people will talk.

A fried of mine, her mum was turning 40 and her dad was like 73. I thought it was weird, but apparently they were happy (I never met them).

And my host family in Germany, the mother was like 45 and the father was like 75. The problem there was the mother had been a gold digger, essentially (he was a surgeon, and really nice). He already had 5 kids, but she broke up him and his wife and married him. They had 3 kids. But as he got older, she wasn't happy any more. They broke up, but then got back together for the sake of the younger kids. When I was there, you could tell there was no love between them at all. And it really sucked for the mother because as he got old he basically needed a full time nurse, which she had to become. So she was stuck with this really old man who she barely cared about, and I'm sure she'd have been a lot happier if she was with someone her own age, who she didn't have to nurse. I think that's worst-case scenario.


But hey, if you've got a crush on him, date him if you can! There's no harm in a bit of fun, and you can decide later where it goes! Just prepare yourself for nasty comments, etc. Especially if it turns out he's rich! ;)
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Postby zeedeveelgirl » Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:27 am

Hehe aww thanks guys :D :D I could be completely jumping the gun and he may just be interested in friendship (which is completely fine with me as well!!) but I just had a good feeling yesterday and was getting very positive vibes from him :D

Wow, that's a pretty full on story about your German host family, rivenriver!!! It sucks when people stay together 'for the sake of the kids' no matter what age they are!!

I think the fact that he is very active and youthful and takes care of himself - he teaches RPM and Pump, goes surfing whenever the surf is good, eats well most of the time and is just so relaxed and stuff.. But at the same time, I know he's been through a lot, his mum is very sick and I can tell he's carrying a bit there, but the fact that he hasn't tried to hide that and he's come right out and talked about it is a good thing!!

Anyway, I'm babbling again :P :P I just haven't been able to wipe the grin off my face since I got home yesterday evening!!!

Thanks again so much for all your comments and opinions, much appreciated :D :D I will keep you all updated!
Em xoxo
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Postby Rustie » Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:16 pm

Well to me age doesnt matter. Im 22 and my partner is 34 and we get along so well. Our family accepting the age gaps has helped us aswell.
We both have kids (2 mine 2 his) and the are all around the same age. We both have the same goals in life atm. We both want another baby and a stable future etc etc..

Bes of luck with the new crush.
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Postby help6363 » Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:46 pm

Have fun! :D
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Postby zeedeveelgirl » Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:07 pm

That's great, Rustie :D I'm glad to hear another positive story about a bit of an age gap!! I love hearing success stories :D :D Females mature so much earlier than males anyway so a lot of the time the maturity levels match even though there's a big age gap. And some guys never grow up!!!

Thanks Michelle :D :D :twisted: :twisted:
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Postby help6363 » Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:28 pm

zeedeveelgirl wrote:That's great, Rustie :D I'm glad to hear another positive story about a bit of an age gap!! I love hearing success stories :D :D Females mature so much earlier than males anyway so a lot of the time the maturity levels match even though there's a big age gap. And some guys never grow up!!!

Thanks Michelle :D :D :twisted: :twisted:


Sorry Em! Did I offend you?

I meant have fun and then post every detail, k?

I will live through your dates hehehehehehe
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Postby zeedeveelgirl » Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:14 pm

Course you didn't offend me, Michelle?! As if you ever could :lol: :lol:
Hehehe I will let you in on all the juicy details, if it gets to that stage :P :P
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