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embarrassed at weight loss attempts?

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embarrassed at weight loss attempts?

Postby emmalito » Sat Dec 08, 2007 2:00 pm

Hi, just wondering about something. Does anyone else out there feel a bit embarrassed to be trying to lose weight?

Sounds a bit strange i know, especially as I'm also emabarrassed to be overweight ... but i don't like telling people (in person).

Example: Yesterday, my brother, who i get on with really well with and love, came over in the afternoon. When he arrived, my first thought was "oh, now i can't do any exercsie". I would feel - well, silly i guess - huffing and puffing about with him here.

And this is one of my closet relatives!

I did go for a walk anyway, to the shops to get a couple of things for dinner, which was about 45 mintues of brisk walking away, but i realised i needed the 'cover' of going to the shops to go get some exercise.

Maybe it's because of failed attempts in the past, maybe it's because of a societal things where it's supposed to 'effortless'.

Or maybe it's a self-esteem issue where i feel feeble for trying. There's a nasty little voice in the back of my head (that i'm getting better at ignoring) that whispers 'why are you even trying? who do you think you are? As if losing the weight will make YOU better...'

So, my question, long winded as usual, is: Does anyone else get this? If so, what do you do about it?
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Postby Justjudy » Sat Dec 08, 2007 3:47 pm

I do get it emmalito, and I suffered from it for a very long time. I think I had "failed" at weightloss so many times that I felt that if others saw that I was trying to lose weight they would be thinking "here she goes again".

I think that as I have gotten older, I have become less self concious about a lot of things in my life and the "weightloss failure" is one of them. I am no longer embarrassed if others know that I am trying to better myself (and let's face it, that is what our weightloss is about), and if they think poorly of me for it, that is their problem not mine.

Judy :D
Reach for the moon, at least you'll land among the stars.

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Postby scoots » Sat Dec 08, 2007 4:59 pm

i get that too. although i have become a little bit more open, but only with certain people. the only person i'm really open with is one of my friends who is also trying to lose weight, but that is probably only because she was open with me first. I was actually only thinking to myself this morning (funnily enough given that i jsut read this post) that when my parents come to visit in April, how am i going to exercise coz i'd feel silly doing it in front of them (same as with ur bro emmalito!!!), then started thinking of ways to "do it in secret". I suppose, now that i think of it, i am starting to get a little more open these days becuase i am starting to become more accepting of the fact that i do have to lose weight, and more accepting of my current weight, if that makes sense, hmmmm, hadn't really thought of that before :?
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Re: embarrassed at weight loss attempts?

Postby help6363 » Sun Dec 09, 2007 3:06 pm

emmalito wrote:Hi, just wondering about something. Does anyone else out there feel a bit embarrassed to be trying to lose weight?

Sounds a bit strange i know, especially as I'm also emabarrassed to be overweight ... but i don't like telling people (in person).

Example: Yesterday, my brother, who i get on with really well with and love, came over in the afternoon. When he arrived, my first thought was "oh, now i can't do any exercsie". I would feel - well, silly i guess - huffing and puffing about with him here.

And this is one of my closet relatives!

I did go for a walk anyway, to the shops to get a couple of things for dinner, which was about 45 mintues of brisk walking away, but i realised i needed the 'cover' of going to the shops to go get some exercise.

Maybe it's because of failed attempts in the past, maybe it's because of a societal things where it's supposed to 'effortless'.

Or maybe it's a self-esteem issue where i feel feeble for trying. There's a nasty little voice in the back of my head (that i'm getting better at ignoring) that whispers 'why are you even trying? who do you think you are? As if losing the weight will make YOU better...'

So, my question, long winded as usual, is: Does anyone else get this? If so, what do you do about it?


OMG, YES! I hate telling people that I am counting calories ....... If I go out to dinner with the family my mother asks the waitperson what is low in calories cause I am on a diet....so :oops:

I 'failed' at so many weight loss attempts until I found calorie counting. I think it works best for me.

Everytime, I hear that 'little voice in my head' (the one that you mentioned in your post), I just imagine me skinny.

Hang in there and chin up!

BIG HUGS :D
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Postby EvilWombatQueen » Sun Dec 09, 2007 4:01 pm

I think part of the embarrassment is how we talk about weight loss as a society. We don't say "I am losing weight" or "I am in the process of losing weight", we say "I'm trying to lose weight". Trying not doing. I've always thought this implies self-doubt and an expectation of possible failure. That we view it as just another attempt, not a definite action.

Because I don't want this seen as just another attempt, I bypass the phrase entirely in most conversations. I just tell people "I've decided to get healthy". Why am I going out for a run? Because I've decided to get healthy. I'm going for a brisk walk as a way of getting healthy. I'm choosing the salad instead of the pizza because it's healthier. What's that, I've lost a couple of kilos you say? All a part of getting healthy!

I also think it turns a negative into a positive. Instead of trying to lose something (weight) you're trying to gain something (better health).

But maybe I just analyse things too much! :lol:
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Postby scoots » Sun Dec 09, 2007 4:23 pm

Because I don't want this seen as just another attempt, I bypass the phrase entirely in most conversations. I just tell people "I've decided to get healthy


hmmm, actually now that you say that, i realise that i have been saying the same thing to people lately, that i'm "being healthy", or if they offer me chocolate i say "oh i'm cutting down on that", it is easier to say than "i'm tyring to lose weight" or something to that effect :)
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