I bet it's some sort of breakdown, I remember feeling the exact way you do, when my youngest son was born, I went to the doc's and apparently I had postnatal depression, I believe the state of your mind is the state of your life, and you hit it on the spot, "negativity"
it really doesn't help ay!
try to be positive, there is always a bright side, always... I know easier said then done, but be strong and try not to allow your negativity to get the better of you!!! You can do it!!!
Us ladies are stronger then we really think, Just push through, get into affirmations and just believe that things will be in order, and decisions will be made as well as action taking place....
Councelling would be a good start.....I am hoping the best for you