It is currently Tue Dec 06, 2016 11:46 am
EvilWombatQueen wrote:I agree with Ali and Jodie. Let them know that you feel uncomfortable about being put in the middle of the situation. Tell them that while you sympathise with their individual positions you love them both dearly and don't want to take sides. Make it clear to your FIL that while he is being very kind in telling you to take your MIL's side should a separation occur that you want to remain on good terms with both of them and that it's important that your children have a relationship with both grandparents.
Which leads me to another point - are your children hearing any of these conversations? If so you need to ban any negative talk by your FIL or MIL from your house. Children shouldn't have to see one grandparent slag off another.
I think the most important thing is to make sure they don't disparage one another in your presence. Complaining about behaviour is one thing, calling someone derogatory names is another. I'm not sure if that's happening, but it can inflame tensions if it does and it's the first thing that needs to be stopped. Any time either party calls their spouse a horrible name gently tell them that you don't want them speaking disrespectfully about your family member and that you hold the other party to the same rule.
Any time your MIL asks you what your FIL has said calmly and gently tell her that she really needs to talk to him herself. Tell her that nothing bad was said and that he was very respectful, but you cannot act as go-between for the two of them.
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