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Postby rhomo31 » Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:12 am

Question? How come my hubby alway says he don't care about my weight, but everytime I pick up something to snack on he says you don't need that. When I say I'm tired or don't feel good he says maybe you need to exercise.I know I need to lose weight, but I feel he should keep his comments to himself. I already told him that I was going on a diet starting tomorow June 1.I'm losing the weight for myself not him. I no I need to lose weight because I get tired to quit. I'm going to lose 140 pounds. God please help me to do this.Can someone please :cry: give me some advice.
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Re: Husbands

Postby electrongirl » Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:59 am

He is probably trying to be supportive the only way he knows how to.

My husband is the same way.
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Re: Husbands

Postby GoddessInside » Sun Jun 01, 2008 11:43 am

Hey Rhomo !

My husband used to be the same, then he turned all fanatical on me when I first started losing weight to now not giving a hoot !

I think the best person to support you and give you the willpower and stamina to move on and overcome the hurdle is YOU ! I've learnt that .... now .... it's so much easier to expect support from 3rd parties as then there's always a loop hole to blame someone. However, I've learnt by being accountable and taking ownership, I am supporting myself in no way that anyone else can.

Believe in yourself hun. You can do this !!
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Re: Husbands

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Sun Jun 01, 2008 6:26 pm

This is going to be a gross generalisation, but women tend to be listeners and men tend to be fixers. If you tell a woman you've had a bad day at work she'll listen, empathise and offer you sympathy. If you tell a man you've had a bad day at work he'll analyse all the details and give you advise on how you should deal with the problem to solve it.

Similarly if you tell a man who's a 'fixer' that you want to lose weight he'll immediately go into helpful mode on you. That will involve commenting on what you eat, commenting on how often you work out and commenting on how intensive your exercise is (or isn't).

The good news is that there is another generalisation you can make use of to counter this tendency if it gets annoying. Men tend to follow instructions well. They're not psychic, so you have to let them know exactly what you want. Let your hubby know that while his support is appreciated his constant monitoring of your eating and advise on your exercise is coming across as criticism rather than support. Ask him to be your cheer squad rather than your coach. That way he can encourage you without any negative comments.

Good luck!
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