It is currently Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:34 pm

Free Newsletter

Breadwinner.

Talk about anything and everything, whether it's related to weight loss or not.

Moderator: Moderators

Breadwinner.

Postby yoyogirl88 » Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:58 am

Im a little upset today. I am off work at the moment because of my neck problems (Ive actually been told Im not to work until after the surgery) and I am living on Centrelink (grrrr) Its really starting to upset me because the bf and I are saving money and I can save about a $100 a fortnight and he saves close to 200-300 a week. I feel inda slack and guilty when he pulls out his card. The same has gone for our christmass layby's he pays for EVERYTHING. Im used to earning money and Im feeling a little bad about it. I dont know how to expalin to andy why I am so nasty to him. I know its because Im feeling insignificant but yeah.
20 month old twins and a breastfed bubba. Busy mama!
Starting this time at 99.5
Current weight 97.9
User avatar
yoyogirl88
 
Posts: 726
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:03 pm
Location: Nsw, Australia

Re: Breadwinner.

Postby Tarz » Wed Oct 08, 2008 11:44 am

I know how it can feel to not be able to save any money and have your other half saving each week and buying things for you. Your best to talk to him about it, let him know how appreciative you are about it but also let him know that your feeling bad about it.
I sat down not long ago to talk to my other half about having to shift money, i wasn't getting any money into savings and felt like i was constantly losing money and had to exp-lain to him that i felt like i was losing my independence, it explained why i was being narky alot of the time. You gotta keep communication open.

How long until you have surgery?
Image
User avatar
Tarz
 
Posts: 1475
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2008 2:46 pm
Location: Sydney

Re: Breadwinner.

Postby yoyogirl88 » Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:32 pm

Thanks for the advice :) I had a chat with him and he told me he doesnt mind it and he understands how I feel. Im going to make more of an effort to clean up and get all the washing and whatnot done. I think knowing im doing something will help me not feel so centrelink dolebludgery.

Im on a 6 month wait list It was 12-18 month but my doc said it was more urgent than that. I have about 4 and a half months more to wait. Even then I'll be off for another 6to 10 weeks depending on my recovery. Its going to take us sooooo long to move out of his parents house.
20 month old twins and a breastfed bubba. Busy mama!
Starting this time at 99.5
Current weight 97.9
User avatar
yoyogirl88
 
Posts: 726
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:03 pm
Location: Nsw, Australia

Re: Breadwinner.

Postby Tarz » Wed Oct 08, 2008 3:10 pm

yoyogirl88 wrote: I had a chat with him and he told me he doesnt mind it and he understands how I feel.


I think we tend to overthink things and turn them into bigger things in our heads. I'm glad you had a chat and now know that everythings is okay and were reassured that you have a good guy.
You are going to have ages away from work! Maybe you should take up a hobby that could help pennywise? Sewing, you could make new clothes for yourself and things for around the house.
Image
User avatar
Tarz
 
Posts: 1475
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2008 2:46 pm
Location: Sydney

Re: Breadwinner.

Postby yoyogirl88 » Wed Oct 08, 2008 9:03 pm

Thats a good idewa Tarz thanks I was only saying to andy last week I wanted to make some more blankets. I made a lovely baby/child blanket at school and I emroidered most of it It was all made by hand (my teacher actually liked it, the grumpy hard to please ggr of a woman she was). I might see about it :)
20 month old twins and a breastfed bubba. Busy mama!
Starting this time at 99.5
Current weight 97.9
User avatar
yoyogirl88
 
Posts: 726
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:03 pm
Location: Nsw, Australia

Re: Breadwinner.

Postby Fireball » Thu Oct 09, 2008 2:17 am

I've been away for a while. It is nice to see you are still around. :D Sorry to hear you have problems with your neck. It must be horrible. Limiting your income, the things you normally do and I guess making it hard to do exercises and lose weight as well? :( You poor thing. It looks like you've been gven some good ideas, can I suggest maybe do something nice for Andy and tell him you are doing it to show your appreciation for his support. I hope your surgery isnt too long off and is a great success.
Image

"Unknowingly, we plow the dust of the stars, blown about us by the wind, and drink the universe in a glass of rain."
Ihab Hassan
Fireball
 
Posts: 687
Joined: Mon Jun 11, 2007 5:36 am
Location: Adelaide

Re: Breadwinner.

Postby miranda*jane » Fri Oct 17, 2008 9:20 am

yoyogirl88 wrote:Im a little upset today. I am off work at the moment because of my neck problems (Ive actually been told Im not to work until after the surgery) and I am living on Centrelink (grrrr) Its really starting to upset me because the bf and I are saving money and I can save about a $100 a fortnight and he saves close to 200-300 a week. I feel inda slack and guilty when he pulls out his card. The same has gone for our christmass layby's he pays for EVERYTHING. Im used to earning money and Im feeling a little bad about it. I dont know how to expalin to andy why I am so nasty to him. I know its because Im feeling insignificant but yeah.


Omg, you're totally me, but in another state...Except the no work 'till the surgery bit...I work, and I make money...but not as much as I'd like. And I get paid fortnightly... 400-500$ a FORTNIGHT kinda sucks when I have to save money, have credit, petrol, I've got a MILLION birthdays...then there's Christmas...My BF is the same as yours. He's a sparky and gets paid weekly...I wont say anything about amounts, but it's more than I get a fortnight. He pays for most things (I do when I can) and insists on buying me things (though sometimes I talk him out of it). Makes me feel kinda shitty too, and I think I snap a little when he does it...even though I don't mean to. I think it's because we've be brought up in such different situations. My mum always had the bigger sallary, though Dad had his aswell...but it was kinda even. Bf's family is the opposite. He's been brought up like the guy is the "breadwinner" and does the "paying"...it does frustrate me a bit.

Just explain that you're used to being able to pay your own way and that you feel guilty relying on him (even if you don't nesicarilly feel like you're doing so). He'll say "Don't worry about it honney, I have the money to do it" or "I want to, it doesn't bother me"...tell him how you feel though and perhaps you can work something out together...

I know exactly how you feel though...not fun.

<3 M
. . . when the rich wage war . . . it's the poor who die . . .
User avatar
miranda*jane
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:16 am
Location: Whyalla, South Australia

Re: Breadwinner.

Postby electrongirl » Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:49 pm

I hear ya. I am used to being the major breadwinner in the household, but now with immigrating to the US I am not even allowed to work as yet and hubby is looking for a job so things are really tight right now. I feel bad asking for even basic stuff for the house.

But it sounds like he is totally supportive and understanding. Its amazing how badly we beat each other up over things that aren't as bad as we think.

I agree about trying to find something that might help financially. You could always start a little eBay business or something from home to help too.
Nikki - Aussie girl living in the USA with her soul mate. My blog: http://aus2usa.blogspot.com/

Image Image
User avatar
electrongirl
 
Posts: 2578
Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2007 8:31 am
Location: China Grove, NC USA

Re: Breadwinner.

Postby yoyogirl88 » Sun Oct 19, 2008 9:59 pm

:) well the situation is a little more complicated now. I'm Pregnant!!!! So now I wont be able to have my surgery for at least 9 months, So I'm off work for longer and Im going to get big and round and damn it Im gunna be stuck in his parents house forever :p
20 month old twins and a breastfed bubba. Busy mama!
Starting this time at 99.5
Current weight 97.9
User avatar
yoyogirl88
 
Posts: 726
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:03 pm
Location: Nsw, Australia

Re: Breadwinner.

Postby Pandora » Sun Oct 19, 2008 10:09 pm

congratulations yoyogirl!!!!!!! or should i call you mama?! blessings and love!!

hugs & best wishes
pan xox
Image
Pandora
 
Posts: 52
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:07 am


Return to Just Chatting

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest