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Is this rude?

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Is this rude?

Postby sandradee » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:00 am

I am at a bit of a loss..... I think it's rude on one hand but not on another, hence I just want to ask for opinions.

Situation

Meet this guy over the Internet and he called me a couple of times..... Met him in person and we got along. Anyway, he stated that when he called me on the mobile that the bill was sky=high.....I offered to give him half the money for the phone bill. Half the money equalled $100. I gave him $50 and stated that I would give him the other $50 when we met up the next day.

Fastforward to the next day, we went to the animal park.... and I gave him a $50 note to pay for our entries to the animal park ($19 per person), he snatched the $50 and stated, 'that's the money for the phone bill'. I tried to explain that I would get the money for the phone bill from an ATM on the walk back to the car but he did not want to do that!

rude behaviour

I think it was rude that he just took the money.....I think he should have waited until we walked back to the ATM after the animal park....I mean..... it's not like I was trying to rip him off.

Does anyone else think this was rude or am I being too sensitive?


THANKS!!!! :D
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Annie.J » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:55 am

No you're not being oversensitive, he IS being rude.
First of all, even though you offered he shouldn't have let you pay for half of his phone bill. It just sounds kind of ridiculous to make you pay for half for HIS phone bill, I mean he's the one that chooses to call you so it's his problem if the bill is high.
On top of that, he rudely demands the money that you shouldn't even be giving to him?
Sounds like a jerk to me. Although you should hear some other people's opinions as well because I might just be a cold censored lol.
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby electrongirl » Thu Dec 18, 2008 2:29 am

Um I don't think you should have to give him any money!

It was his choice to call you. He should have known how much it would cost beforehand.

I met my hubby on the internet and I probably ended up spending thousands of dollars on calls to him (I was calling from Perth to the US) and I would have never asked him for any money for it. It was my choice and I was totally aware of the costs.

You want my honest opinion?

I think this guy is a jerk. And is probably using you. Did you SEE the bill? How do you know it really cost that much. How long did you talk on the phone for?

I seriously think his intentions are not nice.

That's just my opinion though.
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby sandradee » Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:25 am

electrongirl wrote:Um I don't think you should have to give him any money!

It was his choice to call you. He should have known how much it would cost beforehand.

I met my hubby on the internet and I probably ended up spending thousands of dollars on calls to him (I was calling from Perth to the US) and I would have never asked him for any money for it. It was my choice and I was totally aware of the costs.

You want my honest opinion?

I think this guy is a jerk. And is probably using you. Did you SEE the bill? How do you know it really cost that much. How long did you talk on the phone for?

I seriously think his intentions are not nice.

That's just my opinion though.



Thanks for the honest replies! :D

I NEVER saw the bill and I am so silly (or was too embrassed) to ask to see it! He called me on the phone two or three times and I think we talked for a couple of hours (each call).

He said his bill was $350 higher than usual and then stated it was $200 higher than usual. I just recall feeling guilty and offering the money because I felt responsible..... so I offered to pay half the bill.

In all honesty, I don't know the real cost of the bill.....cause I never cited it but he just reduced the cost of the bill from $350 to $200 when I offered to pay half. Hence, I did pay him $100.

Would you really have asked to see the bill? What would you have said when he stated his phone bill was that high?

Thanks!!! :D
sandradee
 

Re: Is this rude?

Postby mumnbub » Thu Dec 18, 2008 6:10 am

I cant believe he accepted the money!!! His choice to call, he wears the cost. I dont have much faith in internet dating so thats enough for me to say he is a jerk. It might be a one off but if a guy is that rude now- its not worth it, you deserve better!
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Shalimar » Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:18 am

I would take that as a sign of things to come and run in the opposite direction........fast.
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby electrongirl » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:08 am

mumnbub wrote:I cant believe he accepted the money!!! His choice to call, he wears the cost. I dont have much faith in internet dating so thats enough for me to say he is a jerk. It might be a one off but if a guy is that rude now- its not worth it, you deserve better!


You'd be surprised how successful it can be!! My hubby & I have been together for nearly 4 years, but we didn't meet on a dating site so that may be why..

But I agree with everything else you said!!
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby electrongirl » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:11 am

sandradee wrote:
electrongirl wrote:Um I don't think you should have to give him any money!

It was his choice to call you. He should have known how much it would cost beforehand.

I met my hubby on the internet and I probably ended up spending thousands of dollars on calls to him (I was calling from Perth to the US) and I would have never asked him for any money for it. It was my choice and I was totally aware of the costs.

You want my honest opinion?

I think this guy is a jerk. And is probably using you. Did you SEE the bill? How do you know it really cost that much. How long did you talk on the phone for?

I seriously think his intentions are not nice.

That's just my opinion though.



Thanks for the honest replies! :D

I NEVER saw the bill and I am so silly (or was too embrassed) to ask to see it! He called me on the phone two or three times and I think we talked for a couple of hours (each call).

He said his bill was $350 higher than usual and then stated it was $200 higher than usual. I just recall feeling guilty and offering the money because I felt responsible..... so I offered to pay half the bill.

In all honesty, I don't know the real cost of the bill.....cause I never cited it but he just reduced the cost of the bill from $350 to $200 when I offered to pay half. Hence, I did pay him $100.

Would you really have asked to see the bill? What would you have said when he stated his phone bill was that high?

Thanks!!! :D


Did he ask you to help pay it or did he just mention it to you and you offered? If he asked for the money then that's not right. However even if he didn't ask, he really should have refused the money. It was his choice to call you.
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Gordz » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:32 am

oh my god sandradee, forget that loser! what an absolute prick. Someone should smack him up the head and teach him how to be a gentleman.

You're not seeing him again are you?
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Gordz » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:35 am

oh, and about the internet dating - I think it's great. I have a date tonight!!! She didn't have a picture on her profile becuase there ARE alot of arssholes out there that are rude and crude, so she took her picture off and actually messaged me! (never happens, lol)

I think you just got a dud sandradee....
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby electrongirl » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:40 am

Gordz wrote:oh, and about the internet dating - I think it's great. I have a date tonight!!! She didn't have a picture on her profile becuase there ARE alot of arssholes out there that are rude and crude, so she took her picture off and actually messaged me! (never happens, lol)

I think you just got a dud sandradee....


Ohhhhhhhh we are going to want details you know!!


hehe joking!!

Or am I!! haha

Seriously though, good luck!! Have fun!
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Gordz » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:42 am

8)
Aussie Male, 26, 194cm.

Start date: 12/8/2013
Highest - 144.8kg

Current - 141.3kg

Goal - 110kg

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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Jisgone » Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:31 am

if hes this cheap on the first date it will only get worse!
ide run :P
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Czarina » Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:13 am

One of my older (and very intelligent) cousins met her partner on the internet. He is a wonderful man, very smart and kind, they are engaged and have a baby boy and he is currently helping her overcome cancer. There are great people out there in cyberspace, we should all know that, being part of this forum, you just have to be very aware and take everything with a grain of salt. Hey, it's the 21st century, go the net!
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:30 am

As someone far cleverer than me once wrote, "When people show you what they're like, believe them".

This guy has shown you he is a class A douche, so I think it's fair to conclude he is a douche. Let us count the reasons:

1. Money issues. He's obviously off on his own planet if he doesn't think two hour phone calls cost money. Most sane people would either phone using a land-line or accept the phone call is going to cost a bit. Spending hours on the phone then being outraged at the resulting bill displays juvenile behaviour. Reaching out to blame someone else for that bill shows incredibly juvenile behaviour. Who knows where else he's racking up debts that are going to be blamed on other people?

2. Responsibility issues. He chose to call you. He chose to talk for hours. Yet somehow the resulting bill isn't his fault... it's yours. What other bills/accidents/fines in the future are going to be all your fault?

3. Entitlement issues. He demands the money therefore you have no choice but to pay. After all his need for your money is FAR more important than your need for your money, right?

4. Grabby. He snatched the money from you? What is he, three? Whatever he is, he's certainly no gentleman. Gentlemen never snatch, they accept politely and with thanks.

5. Entitlement issues part 2. You said you'd get the money from the ATM on the way back. But no, that wasn't convenient for him. He wanted YOUR money when HE wanted it. Your needs simply didn't come into it. And you know what... they never will.

6. Entitlement issues part 3. What were you doing paying for the tickets anyway? If he's expecting you to pay for half his bloody phone bill why isn't he paying for half of the tickets? Obviously there's one rule for Mr Amazing and another for all the other inferior unwashed plebeians of the planet. Don't expect this will change because it won't.

Look at it from the bright side. You've found out this guy has 'wanker' written all over him and it only cost you $50. Many other people lose heaps more than that, including their self-esteem and self-respect, before finding out they're dating such a loser.

Ditch him. Being single is better than putting up with that crap.
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