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Is this rude?

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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Gordz » Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:38 am

wow, fire up EWQ!! :o
Aussie Male, 26, 194cm.

Start date: 12/8/2013
Highest - 144.8kg

Current - 141.3kg

Goal - 110kg

3.5kg lost

31.3kg to go
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:46 am

Hehehe. Do you think he would have got that $50 from me if I'd been the one he was dating? :lol:
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Gordz » Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:59 pm

$50 worth of black eye perhaps!
Aussie Male, 26, 194cm.

Start date: 12/8/2013
Highest - 144.8kg

Current - 141.3kg

Goal - 110kg

3.5kg lost

31.3kg to go
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby sandradee » Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:28 pm

EvilWombatQueen wrote:Hehehe. Do you think he would have got that $50 from me if I'd been the one he was dating? :lol:


I gave him $50 and then when we met then next time he grabbed the other $50..... :oops: So I gave him $100. All I can say is that I suck at dating! Thanks for the replies. :D

I have dumped the guy (via a text message) and know that it wrong to dump via text!

Gordz ......have fun on your date!
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby sandradee » Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:45 pm

electrongirl wrote:
sandradee wrote:
electrongirl wrote:Um I don't think you should have to give him any money!

It was his choice to call you. He should have known how much it would cost beforehand.

I met my hubby on the internet and I probably ended up spending thousands of dollars on calls to him (I was calling from Perth to the US) and I would have never asked him for any money for it. It was my choice and I was totally aware of the costs.

You want my honest opinion?

I think this guy is a jerk. And is probably using you. Did you SEE the bill? How do you know it really cost that much. How long did you talk on the phone for?

I seriously think his intentions are not nice.

That's just my opinion though.



Thanks for the honest replies! :D

I NEVER saw the bill and I am so silly (or was too embrassed) to ask to see it! He called me on the phone two or three times and I think we talked for a couple of hours (each call).

He said his bill was $350 higher than usual and then stated it was $200 higher than usual. I just recall feeling guilty and offering the money because I felt responsible..... so I offered to pay half the bill.

In all honesty, I don't know the real cost of the bill.....cause I never cited it but he just reduced the cost of the bill from $350 to $200 when I offered to pay half. Hence, I did pay him $100.

Would you really have asked to see the bill? What would you have said when he stated his phone bill was that high?

Thanks!!! :D


Did he ask you to help pay it or did he just mention it to you and you offered? If he asked for the money then that's not right. However even if he didn't ask, he really should have refused the money. It was his choice to call you.



GREAT.....I seemed to have confused everyone :D :oops:

Here's the chain of events.......

1. I responded to his ad

2. I sent my mobile number

3. He called my mobile and we spoke for hours

4. We met and got along

5. He called again

6. We met again and he complained about his mobile phone bill and I offered to pay half. He was annoyed about the phone bill!

7. I gave him $50 (my half of the phone bill) and stated I would give him the other half. He grabbed the money then too. He also said not to worry about the rest of the bill.

8. We went out to the animal park. I gave him $50 to pay for the entry ($19 per person) and he took the money as stated it was for the phone bill.

I wasn't offened by paying half the phone bill (after reading these comments I am offended!) and I was stupid to offer. Rather I was annoyed at the fact he grabbed the money and stated what I needed to do WITH MY OWN MONEY!

[img]Sorry%20for%20all%20the%20confusion%20and%20thanks%20for%20the%20replies!!!!%20%20[/img]
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Thu Dec 18, 2008 6:01 pm

sandradee wrote:I gave him $50 and then when we met then next time he grabbed the other $50..... :oops: So I gave him $100. All I can say is that I suck at dating! Thanks for the replies. :D

I have dumped the guy (via a text message) and know that it wrong to dump via text!


You don't suck at dating. You are obviously a very kind-hearted and generous person. Unfortunately you somehow met up with an utter creep who took advantage of your lovely nature. Most men would appreciate someone who is as thoughtful as you are. Ergo you don't suck at dating because most people would love going on a date with you. The person in this equation who sucks is that tool who took your money - and in his case it's not a matter of sucking at dating, it's a matter of sucking as a human being.

Normally it would be rude to dump someone via SMS. However in this case I think anything short of break-up via knee to the groin is far more etiquette than this pillock deserves! :lol:

Well done for ditching the loser. At least all of your dates are going to be magic compared to him! The only way from here is up. :wink:
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby electrongirl » Thu Dec 18, 2008 6:06 pm

I agree, you don't suck at dating.

What I suggest you do in the future is maybe talk via MSN or something with someone, that way its free!!

You can talk with microphones on MSN and its just like being on the phone. My hubby and I did this when we first met, also with webcams.

Establish rules etc about money etc before you become involved with a guy. Be honest and tell them what you will and won't put up with and expect from them.

We were always 100% honest about everything and it has worked so well.

How old are you btw?
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Gordz » Thu Dec 18, 2008 6:11 pm

date re-scehduled =( Ute not ready ='(
Aussie Male, 26, 194cm.

Start date: 12/8/2013
Highest - 144.8kg

Current - 141.3kg

Goal - 110kg

3.5kg lost

31.3kg to go
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby electrongirl » Thu Dec 18, 2008 6:12 pm

Gordz wrote:date re-scehduled =( Ute not ready ='(


bugga!
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby sandradee » Thu Dec 18, 2008 6:56 pm

electrongirl wrote:I agree, you don't suck at dating.

What I suggest you do in the future is maybe talk via MSN or something with someone, that way its free!!

You can talk with microphones on MSN and its just like being on the phone. My hubby and I did this when we first met, also with webcams.

Establish rules etc about money etc before you become involved with a guy. Be honest and tell them what you will and won't put up with and expect from them.

We were always 100% honest about everything and it has worked so well.

How old are you btw?



I am 35 and he was a couple of years older.............now there's a depressing thought, I am 35 and still cannot get this dating thing right. :lol:

To be honest, the cost (even if I pay) for a mobile phone call does not bother me.....I guess I just get annoyed at males trying to dominant me (ie: telling me how to USE MY MONEY!) It just seems so many males seem to have power issues and want to dominant...... they want to tell you what to wear, how to dress and so forth. It was NEVER the fact that I gave him money for the phone bill, it was that he snatched the money that I intended to use for the animal park and demanded that it was for the phone bill.....Afterall, I had already stated that I would get the remaining $50 on the walk back from the animal park.

Hey.....can I ask you something? How do you establish rules? I would NEVER have the courage just to tell
someone .......these are the rules.

Thanks for your honesty and advice

GORDZ........Sorry to hear about the ute!
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby mumnbub » Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:01 pm

sandradee wrote:

I have dumped the guy (via a text message) and know that it wrong to dump via text!



I think it is wrong to dump someone via text- but only when that person is actually a decent person but is just not working. When its a guy like that, he aint worth anything more than that
Start weight: 98kg April 2008
22/12/08- 80.7kg
29/12/08- 81.8kg
04/01/09- 81.6kg
12/01/09- 81kg
19/01/09- 80kg
09/02/09- 79.3kg
Next goal 75kg

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Re: Is this rude?

Postby electrongirl » Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:05 pm

sandradee wrote:
Hey.....can I ask you something? How do you establish rules? I would NEVER have the courage just to tell
someone .......these are the rules.

Thanks for your honesty and advice

GORDZ........Sorry to hear about the ute!


It's taken me a loooong time and alot of pain and heartache to get to a point where I was able to be very upfront about stuff.

I have been through some pretty bad relationships and have learnt to stand up for myself.

My husband had been through the same things as me so we both decided from the beginning that there would be no BS. We would be straight and honest about everything.

We would talk for hours and hours at a time and we knew more about each other before we even met than anyone else in our lives.

We knew what we wanted in a relationship, family, future, kids, pets etc. We talked about EVERYTHING. We had no surprises about anything when we finally actually lived together.

I think the fact that at first we were sceptical it would work as we were 12 000 miles apart that we would test the boundaries thoroughly and we really had nothing to lose.

And it worked. We are like 2 pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly.
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:22 pm

From my experience, I don't think you need to give him a typed list of rules on the first date. I think rules are established more by your response to breaches of the rules initially. If he breaks a rule explain to him why you don't like what he's doing. If he has respect for you he will listen and take it on board. If he doesn't have respect for you he'll tell you why it's your problem you don't like what he's doing and why he's going to keep doing it regardless of how you feel. If that's the case cut your losses and walk away right then and there! Life's too short to deal with that garbage.

On a more personal note: do you always attract guys who want to bully you around? You said that you wouldn't have the courage to point out basic rules to a guy, and that you'd attracting domineering blokes in the past, so without going into psychoanalysis on you could you be attracting this type of guy by being a bit of a doormat? People who need to dominate others can usually sniff out someone they can bully a mile away. Maybe you need to do some assertiveness training before you go on another date.
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Ally147 » Fri Dec 19, 2008 12:11 am

Wow he sounds like a class A tosser.

I had a situation where a guy asked me for money saying that he didn't have enough to buy food with, me being the nice person i am deposited money into his bank account. Things got a bit suspicious when it was getting more regular an occurance that he would ask for money. But i only gave it the once, i flat out refused to do it again.

Be strong, when you meet the right person, the "rules' will be unspoken and known by both.


I wish u all the luck in finding a great guy, you deserve it! :)
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Re: Is this rude?

Postby Gordz » Fri Dec 19, 2008 12:45 am

i'd like to apologise on behalf of alot of men, problem is though that they wouldn't know what they did wrong.. crap upbringing? no respect? I don't know what it is.

On the flip side though, I had a gf earlier this year, sure she was 2.5 years younger and a student, but she didn't pay a cent for anything for the few months we were together. While I never complained or hinted it'd be nice if she could chip in her half for a movie ticket or whatnot here or there, I grew pretty tired of paying for everything. Not saying I would ever act like the arsshole you're talking about, OR condone his actions, but maybe he's in the same boat.

Rescheduled tonights date for monday btw, Italian restuarant on lygon for dinner, casual stroll around the nearby park, then a movie on an oversized beanbag in the back of the ute at the drive in (how good are summer nights?!) And no, she won't be paying a cent. I don't know how much its done these days but I still prefer to pay for the first couple of dates, and if things go well, with todays 'equality' and all I would expect, maybe expect is the wrong word, (hope for) 50-50 style later on. What do you think?
Aussie Male, 26, 194cm.

Start date: 12/8/2013
Highest - 144.8kg

Current - 141.3kg

Goal - 110kg

3.5kg lost

31.3kg to go
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