It is currently Sat Mar 25, 2017 8:40 pm
EvilWombatQueen wrote:From my experience, I don't think you need to give him a typed list of rules on the first date. I think rules are established more by your response to breaches of the rules initially. If he breaks a rule explain to him why you don't like what he's doing. If he has respect for you he will listen and take it on board. If he doesn't have respect for you he'll tell you why it's your problem you don't like what he's doing and why he's going to keep doing it regardless of how you feel. If that's the case cut your losses and walk away right then and there! Life's too short to deal with that garbage.
On a more personal note: do you always attract guys who want to bully you around? You said that you wouldn't have the courage to point out basic rules to a guy, and that you'd attracting domineering blokes in the past, so without going into psychoanalysis on you could you be attracting this type of guy by being a bit of a doormat? People who need to dominate others can usually sniff out someone they can bully a mile away. Maybe you need to do some assertiveness training before you go on another date.
Gordz wrote:i'd like to apologise on behalf of alot of men, problem is though that they wouldn't know what they did wrong.. crap upbringing? no respect? I don't know what it is.
On the flip side though, I had a gf earlier this year, sure she was 2.5 years younger and a student, but she didn't pay a cent for anything for the few months we were together. While I never complained or hinted it'd be nice if she could chip in her half for a movie ticket or whatnot here or there, I grew pretty tired of paying for everything. Not saying I would ever act like the arsshole you're talking about, OR condone his actions, but maybe he's in the same boat.
Rescheduled tonights date for monday btw, Italian restuarant on lygon for dinner, casual stroll around the nearby park, then a movie on an oversized beanbag in the back of the ute at the drive in (how good are summer nights?!) And no, she won't be paying a cent. I don't know how much its done these days but I still prefer to pay for the first couple of dates, and if things go well, with todays 'equality' and all I would expect, maybe expect is the wrong word, (hope for) 50-50 style later on. What do you think?
mindy32 wrote:Goodness, what a love of conversing in here, I felt like I'd pop in and put my two cents in, although almost everyone has said it all already! I'm in agreeance with pretty much everything on here! (I love that there's not arguments on this issue lol). I met my boy on the net too, and although we were embarassed at first (especially him since he's not a big internet guy!) it worked for us. We didnt have to worry about the phone bill though (lucky for us), he was in Afghanistan with the army when we started talking (with no thought at all that we'd do anything but that!), so he always had to call me, I couldnt call him obviously, and he didnt have to pay for calls. Once he got back we spent 6 weeks together, then he had to head back to Brissy, so now we spent heaps on phone calls! But we have those 'unspoken' rules that others we're talking about, you just kind of fall into a great routine when you meet the right person. We never talk about it, we just pay for some things each, I'll pay occassionally, he'll pay other times. We're saving to go to Europe so whoever has the most money each particular week tends to pay so we dont have to take any out of our savings! But we're the kind of people who just say it's all 'our' money now anyways, whereas I know plenty of people (married ones too) who still keep it all separate, depends on whats right for each couple I guess! But that guy should not have been so rude, you can't do something (ie. call somebody) and then AFTER the fact expect them to give you money for it! That's like giving someone something and then saying 'oh you owe me $50 for that'. Rude boy. Im glad you got rid of him lol.
Damn I ramble a lot.
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