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best friend trouble... advice needed

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best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby matchbox » Wed May 27, 2009 1:03 am

ok guys any and all advice will be greatly superly appreciated!! sorry if its kinda long...

as some of you know i got into a car accident a few weeks ago. my best friend found out about a week after it happened when she decided to email me (first time she'd talked to me in about 1.5-2 weeks. by email. she got on msn and we talked for a while about it. i also messaged her (i think it was a day or 2 later?) as i had some really exciting news that i HAD to share with my bestie - that my bf told me that i was the one, and that he wanted to spend forever with me. naturally i was SO excited since i feel the same way about him. she couldn't be happy for me. i told her to pretend she was excited/happy and her reply was something along the lines of 'i am' - although clearly she couldn't even FAKE being happy for me. i have ALWAYS been there for her and have done anything for her, helped her through breakups, offered her to stay here for a while when she was fighting with her family, always listened to everything she said.
i'm guessing that part of the reason is that, although she has been with her bf for a bit longer than D and i have - she has told him she loves him multiple times, and he hasnt said it back, he told her he's "not ready" to. im not sure if she thought i was being insensitive talking about my bf to her? but she ALWAYS has to me, even when stuff was going sh!t in my life she'd always boast about her love life.

it's been about 2 weeks since that's happened and she still hasn't spoken to me. i'm not sure what to do. i do miss her sometimes but if that's the way she's going to continue treating me, imho its unfair on me. i just wanted to share my happiness and excitement with my bestie.

do i try and talk to her? do i leave it?

any and all advice, please!!

xx

forgot to add - my mum ran into her today and the 'bestie' was all awkard and not herself - so my mum kinda figured out and asked, so its on my mind again
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby electrongirl » Wed May 27, 2009 6:00 am

I have been through this too many times to mention.

I finally decided life is too short to put up with people who don't give back what they take from me.

So I think just let it go and if she decides to grow up and be your real friend then take it a day at a time. But from experience these people hardly change.
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Wed May 27, 2009 10:40 am

You might want to give her some time. If she's at a bad point emotionally and that's what's causing her rudeness then it could take her a while before she starts thinking of other people's feelings. Maybe just send her an email asking her how she's going and wait to see if she gets back to you. However, if she's just naturally self-centred then she probably can't handle something good happening to someone else instead of her. If that's the case she may never get back to you, which isn't necessarily a bad thing since you're best off without a 'friend' like that.
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby Jisgone » Wed May 27, 2009 1:34 pm

My old best friend was the same, she was only happy if I was miserable! Every time I told her some good news she would turn very b1tchy and start going on about how crap my life is.
Some people just dont like seeing other people happy, I dont really talk to her anymore and the odd time I do on msn I just act super nice while she complains about my life and my bf and my work. The nicer I am the angrier she seems to get haha.

I think just give her some space, she needs to realise that if she talks to you like that you will space yourself from her, eventually she might learn that you expect more than that and she might step up to the plate :)
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby matchbox » Wed May 27, 2009 2:35 pm

thanks for the advice girls. in my temper last night (i hardly get angry but when i do, you will know about it! lol) i messaged her, and she came on msn, and she ACTUALLY said that she had no idea that i was upset. hmm. i think that's all i needed really. both D and i are incredibly unimpressed, plus she made up a whole series of excuses, pretty extravagant, as to why she couldnt message, call, email, IM etc.

She is naturally a very self centred person, and things like this only prove it to me, ya'know? oh and then very maturely had a censored about me as many times as she could in a facebok quiz (without mentioning my name) even where it wasn't appropriate or called for :roll: i know i am a lot more mature than both she and my age, but c'mon, facebook quizzes?? thats how shes going to handle it? :roll:
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby alisvolatpropriis » Wed May 27, 2009 5:20 pm

I had an ex bestie who was the same. Fortunately we are no longer in touch.

She would always put me down, as if she was better than me, she was 2 faced, conceited and always tried to stir trouble in my relationship. Anyway her and her bf broke up - I was there but long story short - that pretty much broke us up too! :)

Good riddance! I think what everyone said is right - give her time! I gave this "bestie" years... she never changed... and still hasn't from what I hear!
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby Jisgone » Wed May 27, 2009 5:24 pm

It sounds like you have outgrown her :)
I had known my old bestie since high school so it can be hard to let go, but i matured and she was still stuck acting like a 16 year old. People change and some times its easier just to move forward without them.
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby alisvolatpropriis » Wed May 27, 2009 5:28 pm

Yeah I definitely did! I met her in year 8 were very very close for about 8 years!

It was hard - but in the end, I wanted more in my life, not just clubbing every night of the week! (although, nothing wrong with a bit of a boogie now and then!!! :mrgreen: )
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby Gordz » Wed May 27, 2009 9:55 pm

maybe she doesn't like your bf? just an outsiders immediate thought, but either way, I'd probly agree with that 'you've outgrown her' oppinion. We're adults now, time to leave depressing / time wasting people in the past!
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby matchbox » Thu May 28, 2009 12:11 am

yeah, we met in highschool and i have been there for her for pretty much everything. i think its time to give it up now. thanks so much guys for your advice :)

gordz, she does like him a lot (not in a creepy way in a he's perfect for you way) and has even told me she thinks that he is the one for me and i'm the one for him (which i later found out :mrgreen: )
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby Gordz » Thu May 28, 2009 8:17 am

nawww thats so cute!!!!! ^_^
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby matchbox » Thu May 28, 2009 1:37 pm

hehe thanks i know :mrgreen: he is absolutely adorable! hehe
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby GoddessInside » Thu May 28, 2009 5:12 pm

You know how I feel about this.

Luv u lots xo
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Re: best friend trouble... advice needed

Postby Fireball » Thu Jun 04, 2009 4:04 am

Hey Matchbox. At the end of the day you need to look at what are you getting out of your relationship and whether it is enough that it works for you. I have a best friend of many years but she spends a lot of time with her partner in the last few years and "forgets me". She is happy. I am happy that she has a partner that she gets on so well with. It works for us. It sounds in your case, like you don't feel you're getting what you want from the relationship. I don't get what you're talking about with the face book :oops: , but if she's being rude bout you, do you really need that?

And that is great news about you bf... that is sooo exciting.
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