Kind've pointless line of thinking, I know...but I still think it.
You've probably seen me moaning about the place before, so I'll do it again.
I'm getting alright results now. Been attending gym with more adherance, pushing myself in the cardio area a bit more.
Still not really lifting much, I use one or two machines, no free weights. I do a seated row and some other bits and peices.
Diet could still use some fixing. Some. It's not really a huge worry. Just acknowledging.
But, I don't get puffed out any more.
My lung capacity is better. I don't feel tired as much.
I'm finally starting to see a little bit of difference, bit more chest, little less stomach. Not much. But a bit.
The wife actually noticed the change the other day, I guess that says how fond I am of walking around in states of undress, even around her...I think she walked in while I was putting a shirt on.
Show me your stomach. Hm...ok....well, I actually said I didn't really want to. Apparently "heaps" smaller. Hm, don't think so, but hey.
I realised at that point no matter how many changes I make, I will forever be wearing clothes that are too loose for me or baggy, I will make progress and people won't really see it.
I think that I've permanently knocked myself out of being proud or happy with myself.
It's hard, when you've grown doubt on you like weight...it's kind of harder to get rid of.
So today when I was at gym again, at around the point of my cycle that I start to want to give up...which is about 7-8 minutes in, somewhere between 4-5ks...and I'm seeing some 20-somethings doing what I'm
doing comparatively effortlessly (though, never for as long it seems). I'm 33.
Today, I rode 13 ks in just about 27 minutes. I cross trained for close to 2 ks. I did some resistance work, and hit the waterwheel/hand pedal thing for a minute and a half each way.
As usual, I felt tired, shaky, sore, and super hungry.
The only thing that's been on my mind since, is that for a lot of reasons, I wish I'd tried a bit earlier in life.
Figure this would have been a bit easier on me.