It is currently Sat Dec 10, 2016 5:57 pm

Free Newsletter

Losing friends with new jobs - has that happened to you?

Talk about anything and everything, whether it's related to weight loss or not.

Moderator: Moderators

Losing friends with new jobs - has that happened to you?

Postby BubblyMac » Thu Jan 04, 2007 6:02 pm

I just wanted to vent a litte.

I had been working in the city for a consulting engineering company for 7 years. During that time made friends, worked as the receptionist as i love chatting with the clients and co-workers. So a very few people were there longer than me and we became good friends. But i'm talking about a large company with over 100 people in the office. People would always come and go, get married or pregnant etc..

I was the glue in the company that held them together, organised everything, pushed people that needed to get things done, and always organising help for 2 charities we'd help out and help raise money for. So I had built my career into a great receptionist, respected by most, even the bosses.

But the city life was getting me down, I was getting bored and hated the almost hour travel into he city by train. So i moved with my boyfriend on the northern side of town (1 hr away) and decided to look for another job.

So I ended up taking the first job offered to me (after several interviews with other places) and this job is closer to home, only about 15mins away from home by car.

I'm now working for financial planners, in an office with an older lady who works 3 days a week, a planner who works his own hours and who's engaged to my superviser, who both know really well the boss. And then me. That's it. I"m now working in an office of 5 people.

I find it can be so hard sometimes and lonely. I can't girl talk with the girls as they are much slimmer and prettier than me and are a bit superficial with their looks/clothes etc... They can be nice but everyon talks behind your back and even the boss does it. You can't trust anyone. So you can't talk about much unless you want everyone knowing. WE all have seperate lunches.

But not only that, every friend I had made in my old job, have all lost contact now since they are busy with their lives and we don't have much in common now since we don't work together. I know it's life, it happens but after 7 years, I just didn't think it could happen.

But to make some things worse, i'm doing more financial planning work than reception and I have financial exams I have to do and know asap so I can give advice but i'm not allowed to give advice :?: :!: I sometimes wonder! But I definately don't regret leaving the old job.

The perks I suppose with the new job - being closer to home, my own car park underneath the building, able to eat well at my desk for morning tea/afternoon tea. not so many calls or clients in the office and every now and then, being allowed to go home a little bit earlier than usual. But there is no pay rises or bonuses. The boss doesn't really like to look after his employees, rather us to save him money.

Anyways, just venting my thoughts. Wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences??
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wksPHQO/]
Image
[/url]
User avatar
BubblyMac
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 7:22 pm
Location: Kallangur, BRISBANE QLD

Postby zeedeveelgirl » Thu Jan 04, 2007 7:10 pm

Aww you poor thing :( :( Sounds like a lonely job!!! My last admin job before I got out of that industry was at a place where I worked with 2 other ladies, both about 35 years older than myself!!! It was boring as hell, and they weren't even nice, they were total mean cows!!
Can you email your old workmates??? Maybe you should look for another job? If you aren't happy and don't think it will get better, there may be something better for you out there???
Just a thought :) Hang in there!
Em
zeedeveelgirl
 
Posts: 2925
Joined: Sun Dec 24, 2006 5:53 pm
Location: Adelaide, SA

Postby Chinta » Thu Jan 04, 2007 7:26 pm

I would be keeping my eye out for job with a more friendly/busier atmosphere.

Poor thing.......... sounds very different from what you are used to and lonely.

Strange how if you don`t see people on a daily basis they don`t contact you........ especially after being there for 7 years :roll:

Look at your current job as a stepping-stone to the REAL job that is out there waiting for you :wink:
ImageImage
User avatar
Chinta
 
Posts: 79
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 6:52 pm
Location: Geelong, VIC

Postby kate_turner2000 » Thu Jan 04, 2007 7:40 pm

hey Image

that really sucks!thanks for venting though, it is nice to have a read :) my sister lives in taigum- is that near you? just out of curiosity! hehe.

i know what you mean about losing touch with friends. since i have got engaged and had a baby i havent spent any time with my 'bestfriends'. some of them havent even seen my daughter who is now nearly 13 months old! you just lose contact for awhile, and then they are off doing other things- like clubbing and weekend mini breaks. but that is life. they need to make an effort and so do you. it cant be one or the other- it works both ways.

keep your eye out for another job but i know how hard it is to come across jobs! so potter along doing your own thing and something will come up- an opportunity you least expect :)
User avatar
kate_turner2000
 
Posts: 13910
Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:59 am
Location: Central Coast NSW

Postby Ally » Thu Jan 04, 2007 8:28 pm

That really sucks BM!! Although I haven't had the same kind of experience, I can understand how you must be feeling! I would stick at this job and do your exams etc and then once they are done, start looking for a better job with incentives and bonuses and a lot more friendlier atmosphere!! *hugs* to you mate!
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wGLHYSm/]
Image
[/url]
Ally
 
Posts: 4799
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2006 11:23 am
Location: Rockhamtpon, Central Queensland!

Postby Pepper » Thu Jan 04, 2007 8:31 pm

Hi BubblyMac,

Yes I know what you mean. Working in a small office is limiting when it comes to establishing a friend base, especially if there are difference between you like age, interests and so on.

I work in a large organisation, and there are heaps of people of all ages, race, religion, size....you name it, there are all kinds of interesting characters. And how many "girl" friends or "friends" full stop do I have from work....NONE, zippo!!! :cry: Sure I get along with most people, we laugh and chat at work, but outside working hours we all go our own ways. It used to really disappoint me, especially as I was always such an outgoing type, but now I accept it for what it is, a WORKPLACE. A place to go to in the morning, do a job, and leave at the end of the day. It is not a means to an end for socialising. Sure if someone asks me to join them for lunch, I do. Or if we are having a send-off etc, I attend. I make jokes, laugh and am very friendly all round, but I don't expect to make a best friend out of it.

I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Enjoy the job for what it is, for what it gives you in the way of money, opportunity and comforts (ie. close proximity to home, car space etc) and who knows, when you least expect it, you might click with someone and make a lasting friend.

I've read a few of your posts, and although I don't know you, I think I've learnt a little about you already.

In my first post to you, I said that I'd be your friend but you didn't even comment on this. You keep bringing up the "I'm fat, not thin or pretty like the others" etc and it sounds like an excuse; something to blame for not being able to make friends. It's about confidence in yourself that makes you friends, not how you look.

Anyone interested in you as a potential friend will hear your "whoa is me" message in your tone, expressions etc and they will run like a vampire from a crusifix.....get over it, you have a weight problem, not leprasy!!!

I will do all I can to support you. I will be there if you want to post, or PM or make contact with me within or outside of this forum, but if you just want to feel sorry for yourself, don't bother, I'm too busy trying to cope with my own self esteem issues!!!

I think you're a great girl, and you would make a fantastic friend, but before you can be mine or anyone else's friend, you have to be one to yourself, otherwise any friend you do make will only be temporary as you will push them away because you won't believe they REALLY want to be your friend.

Sorry, that may sound harsh, but you seem to be crying the same message in almost all of your posts. :oops:
Strong people don't walk away from the truth, only the excuses others try to sell them.
Pepper
 
Posts: 59
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2006 9:18 am
Location: Melbourne

Postby BubblyMac » Fri Jan 05, 2007 8:52 am

well Pepper, you may have some good points there. I've read your post a couple of times now. the first time I felt a bit awful but then realised the truth hurts and realised that's why I don't have friends as I push them away - I don't let me walls down and let people in anymore then wonder why I don't have any.

Like most I suppose, I don't have any self esteem/confidence which I didn't realise i'd shown so much. sorry about that.

I realise I do make up excuses all the time for not being able to exercise or going off track in my diet etc... I think I need to definately call myself on my own crap and make sure I do do something and stick with it.

I'll definately start with stopping making up excuses for things and stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with it! You're right..... lotsa people going through what i'm going through and nothing and noone but myself can conquer the challenge. :)

I think I might even go buy myself a confidence or self esteem book to help me out. I do apologise if i've been sounding really negative or sorry for myself. I didn't realise.

Thanks Again! Enjoy your weekend!! :D
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wksPHQO/]
Image
[/url]
User avatar
BubblyMac
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 7:22 pm
Location: Kallangur, BRISBANE QLD

Postby kate_turner2000 » Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:03 am

you dont need to apologise for the way you feel. but you are right, you need to start thinking more positively about yourself. i know its hard especially when you have been knocked down in the past from loved ones and friends. and especially when you dont feel good about the way you look and so on. its hard to let your personality shine when you are trying to hide because of the way you are on the outside. alot of people use the term' its whats on the inside that counts' but a lot of the time its not. how can you let whats on the inside to shine, if you arent shining on the outside?

we are always here if you need a chat :) maybe grab yourself an exericse book or diary and write down some positive quotes or affirmations throughout the book and then when you check your diary daily you will see those lovely comments which will motivate you. write about how you are feeling and what your goals are. stick some photos in there- favourite places, your favourite photo of yourself and so on.

keep smiling :)
User avatar
kate_turner2000
 
Posts: 13910
Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:59 am
Location: Central Coast NSW

Postby Pepper » Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:09 am

BubblyMac,

Again, I'm sorry if my post sounded harsh, but I think you needed to hear it.

I ALSO think you are a really nice girl, and would make a great friend (as I said earlier) but you HAVE TO like yourself FIRST. Otherwise you will push people away, and will end up bitter for it.

Finally, CONGRATULATIONS you have taken the first step!!!

You have acknowledged and taken responsibility for your behaviour and your actions, ie. pushing people away, now you are ready to move on. And really make friends, because YOU DESERVE IT!!!

Please don't stop, you've taken a huge step and I think with a bit more determination, you will totally rock!!!

I will be there for you BM, if you want. And I know others here will be too. It's a fantastic community of supporters available to you (and me) so let's make the most of it, and be there for each other.

Just think of me (everyone here) as that bridesmaid behind you, helping you do up that GOREGOUS wedding dress, that will look stupendous on you come the big day!!! :wink:
[center]Image[/center]
Strong people don't walk away from the truth, only the excuses others try to sell them.
Pepper
 
Posts: 59
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2006 9:18 am
Location: Melbourne

Postby The Blimp! » Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:36 pm

Hi BubblyMac

Firstly, I wanted to say well done on taking advice which musn't have been easy to read but which is constructive.

SEcondly, why not investigate some courses or clubs that interest you - you are more likely to make friends in an environment where you share a passion with others.

Good luck!
Image
The Blimp!
 
Posts: 30
Joined: Wed Dec 27, 2006 4:44 pm
Location: Adelaide


Return to Just Chatting

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests