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Feeling miserable...

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Feeling miserable...

Postby Mandie » Sat Mar 31, 2007 1:52 pm

Okay, I'm feeling pretty down at the moment.

Everything is piling up. The stress of finding boyfriend and his new housemates a place to rent in Perth (market sucks!), attempting to study, fitting in work, saving some money, trying to remember to eat healthily and exercise, seeing my friends... and now all this crap with my wrist! I have to deal with the fact that I have to either put up with constant pain in my wrist or go for an operation that traditonally has pretty poor success rates, and may end up making it worse. Adding to all this, my back has gotten worse because I haven't had time to do my physio-prescribed exercises!

I'm not sure what to do.

I can recognise the danger signs in myself heading towards depression. I start feeling tired and sleeping ALL the time... (and I had blood tests last week, everything is normal so I know its not low iron or something). I start binge-eating. I stop exercising. I look in the mirror and hate what I see, so I think what's the point? I don't want to go out. I become short tempered, and I pick fights with my parents and friends. I refuse social invitations, preferring to sit on my computer/lie in bed/eat.

So I know all this is coming on and I need to do SOMETHING to pull myself out of it before i undo all my good work!

So someone, please, write your ideas for "pick me ups". I know exercise is a big one, but I'm not supposed to do anything (even running!) until Monday because of my wrist and the painkillers I'm taking make me pretty dizzy and woozy. So any other ideas for something I can do to cheer myself up?
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Postby Ally » Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:21 pm

Hey Mandie I am sorry to hear that things are getting on top of you...it really is no wonder darl!! You had the big trip away and you hit Perth airport with your feet running!! Things are really piling up there and I think your wrist has just been the last straw!! Is there anyway you can offload finding the new BF a house to rent?? I think it is something that you don't need the stress of right now...or maybe get someone to go with you...I really do think you need to take it easy for a bit and let your body recover from the stress of everything as well as the operation......I know it is easier said than done, but if you feel you are getting depressed, then it is best to do something now, than wait until it gets worse....

*book in for a massage or facial (or both)

*do you like the beach?? Just get away for a day or two and just relax by the beach and listen to the waves coming in (this is great for stress) don't do anything else just lay )preferably in a shady, secluded spot and just relax.....

*write down you frustration/anger/hurt etc....

*get a new hair-do....something really and totally different from what you have now....I know I had almost waist length hair and I walked out of the hair dressers one day with a short style cut and colour and foils put in and I felt like a million bucks!!!

*put post it notes on your fridge and pantry....Food is NOT the answer to my problems......I deserve better than this........I am NOT going to comfort eat.....etc...this may help you stop before you eat something that you know is not going to help you in the long run...

*paint your nails

*go one step further and get some girlfriends around and have a "girls night in"....pedicures and manicures and painted nails are the go here....just have a blast

AJ Rochester in her book the Confessions Of A Reformed Dieter recommends the Recognise Challenge and Distract method....Recognise what is setting off a binge...challenge that behaviour ie: do I really need to eat it...then distract yourself from it..do something else to take your mind away from eating...I find this helps me!!

Sorry for the ramble Mandie....but I hope some of it is a help to you mate....*hugs*
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Postby slimmindown » Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:41 pm

Mandie, if you have been there before,and pulled yourself out of it,do you remember how you did it before. It is so debilitating feeling depressed it takes all your energy and gives you "the what the hell's, theres no point" for sure. It would be hard coming back from that fantastic holiday to real life, it kinda sux when you know there are so many more exciting things to do.

Maybe you could look into your next big adventure and start planning that, having something to look forward to picks me up when i'm down.

chase away those negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, it sounds corny but it really worked for me, it is then just repetition of the positive thoughts ,then the negative ones that are sabotaging all your great work will be replaced by the new ones that will carry you forward into the next exciting part of your life.
Your new man, your career and feeling on top of the world again.

small steps are always the starting point for me,just get through today with small practical steps ,like writing down all the things that are great about you, cause I know there are lots
like you care,
your a great listener ,
you take chances,(i wouldnt of gotten on the elephant on your holiday,or the motor bike lol.
you are adventurous and you have a great man, who wouldnt of fallen for you if you were not so fantastic and viviacious yourself..
your hand is getting you down, and once you make a decision about whether or not to have the surgery you'll feel better about it, If you dont have the surgery are there other options or do you stay the same way with your hand. if theres a chance it could get better is it better to take that chance, i dont know, as i dont know all the facts but , i bet you've looked into it because
you are intelligent too..

Mandie i think you are great and I know that the others on this forum do to. they will have lots of great advice to help you feel better,cause thats what we do here, including you, you give great advice..

i hope you find that place for your new man to stay, win tattslotto, your hand feels heaps better,stay on track with your eating and ace your studies,you certainly deserve it.
but if all those things dont happen right away, you are pretty cool just the way you are in my eyes. I really admire you Mandie,life will get better, this is one of those down days that makes the good ones feel so much better.
[no excuses, I can do it!
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Postby Mandie » Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:57 pm

*tears* thank you both for your support - you are so sweet!

I texted my bf today to ask if he minded if I don't go to the place I was supposed to look at for him today - he said of course not, and I was doing too much anyway! He is moving in with a friend of mine, apparently I should not worry and they will organise themselves - I feel guilty for not helping out but I guess I can't do everything.. so that helps!

Those are some really good ideas Ally - I might just do that this week. My friend got a manicure kit recently, I might see if I can hang out with her sometime and we can do each others nails...

Thank you too, slimmindown, it was so sweet of you to remind me of my good points. You're right, of course... I have a lot going for me and I should focus on the positive!

So.. my action plan:
1. Focus on the positives
2. Concentrate on my wrist exercises, and don't worry about making a decision on surgery until I can talk it over with my specialist in 6 weeks time
3. Learn to say no - stop taking on extra things I can't handle, tell my bf and his housemate they will have to look for a place themselves
4. Stop feeling guilty for number 3
5. Take time out for me - the manicures etc
6. Get the regular exercise happening - it always makes me feel better
7. Erase the last month and start fresh tomorrow, April 1 - a whole new month on the calendar to fill with stars![/u][/b]
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Postby Dee » Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:59 pm

I am so there with you Mandie. Ever since that damned PFA meetign I have found myself sinking further and further into self pity. Yesterday was my turn around day, after a very motivation message from one of the newbies one of my girlfeinds asked me why I had given someone else (the PFA president) the power over me. So I took back that power and I hit the ground running - literally! lol I think the doldrums are going around tho, I know a lot of people who've come down with them recently! :D

Unfortunately this has got to come from you, sweetie. You need to remind yourself that YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!! You deserve the best life you can have. You have acheived so much in your life, and you should feel proud of that.

With the post it notes that Ally suggested - add these;
I am a strong person, I have proven this in the past by;.....
I am supportive, encouraging, and generous - everyone on Weightloss.com.au is grateful for me.
I am a wonderful person; someone is prepared to move halfway across the country just to be near me!
I deserve success - and I am going to make it happen.

We all love you so much Mandie, and can't bear to see you down. Hope you're feeling better soon.
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:33 pm

hey mandie sorry you are feeling so run down lately. i am too and im glad i am going to the dr's on tuesday to see him about a few things. it will take a lot of stress off my back and im a worrier.

the girls have offered great suggestions up above. i find when everything is getting to me the best place i like to be is in a nice warm bubble bath. i grab a good book or magazine and just have time to myself.

remember we are always here and im always on msn ... well even mick had a chat to you today!! keep smiling mandie, you are a beautiful person inside and out
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Postby zeedeveelgirl » Sat Mar 31, 2007 6:25 pm

It must be in the air, I've been feeling lousy too.. I'm sooo tired and I keep taking myself off to bed thinking I need a nap and not being able to sleep.. I've lost the motivation for a lot of things which were once important to me, and I'm struggling with the picking at food too.. Today's been another bad day for that, picking at everything.. Urgh and I'm going out to dinner tonight too!

I hope you end up feeling better Mandie, if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you :):)
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Postby Dee » Sat Mar 31, 2007 6:53 pm

Reckon you're right Em - it's certainly spreading quickly across the country - we have an outbreak of melancholy!

Hope everyone's feeling better soon.
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Postby Chelle » Sat Mar 31, 2007 9:04 pm

I think you need me time... Go & relax put everything behind you & chill out for a while. You have realised the first signs of depression don't let this get on top of you, go & see a doctor & get on anti-depprension before it will get worse.. Your in your last year of uni I think focus on getting through the year, so that you can become a doctor next year. Sorry to hear about your wrist, what is the matter with it???? If your not allowed to exercise, then don't worry about it until your ready, if you feel like doing somthing than only do light exercise like a walk, don't binge eat you will only end up regreating it. Hope that everything work's out & when ever you feel like that you need to talk to someone we are all here for you
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Postby Mandie » Sat Mar 31, 2007 11:12 pm

awww thanks everyone.

I had a good nap this afternoon, it was nice and refreshing. Been talking to the boyfriend as well, he's pretty good at cheering me up. :D

Oh, and the eagles won tonight :D

The wrist - basically I have an instability of the wrist bones, due to an injury over a year ago, it means that my grip strength is getting weaker and i cant twist it all the ways i used to, and I get some chronic pain when I do things like type (ie my parttime job) and write (ie study), and i find it hard to hold stuff for a long time (like doing stitches). So it interferes with my life a bit...

umm what else. I'm gonna focus on me, and I'll keep coming back here to remind myself how lovely you all are, you are all so supportive! thank you so much!
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Sun Apr 01, 2007 8:44 am

errr damn eagles heheh ;)
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Postby A_Corner_Of_The_Earth » Sun Apr 01, 2007 12:46 pm

Sorry to hear you were feeling down yesterday Mandie. Life is like that sometimes- we get caught up in to many things and the stress, worry and hassle of it all can come toppling down with dangerous consequences.

The ladies have suggested some great tips for you. It's fantastic that you have nipped this in the bud as you don't want to go spiralling into the big black hole of depression. Not a place where you want to be.

That's too bad about your wrist. Hopefully you'll be one of the lucky people where the operation is a success. All the best with it.
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Postby yummymummy » Sun Apr 01, 2007 1:42 pm

I think focusing onn yourself is a good idea, it will help you get in control of those yucky feelings of depression nipping at your heals
I hope yor wrist improves for you soon, are there any treatment options apart from surgery for you?
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Postby Mandie » Sun Apr 01, 2007 2:01 pm

my treatment options aside from surgery are:

NSAIDS (anti-inflammatory tablets), activity modification (ie quitting my parttime job of typing, studying less? neither are real options for me) and wearing my splint (which i do, at the gym)

It's actually being okay at the moment.. the swelling from wednesdsay has mostly gone down and i'm needing less pain killers.. so I'l just be careful with it and see how I go until my appointment with the surgeon in 6 weeks time. He is a great doctor, he will go through all my options with me pretty well Ithink
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Postby milkyway » Sun Apr 01, 2007 3:26 pm

Hey Mandie, one of my greatest challenges in life is learning to say 'no'. I am 34 years old and still don't know how to say it but I am getting better. I too take on too many things and then feel like I'm suffocating from it all.

But when I take a step back, prioritise things and ask for help, I find that people step up to support me and what I thought would be a big deal for me not to do, turns out to not be a big deal at all (does that make sense? Just like how your boyfriend is fine to find his own apartment).

There's some great advice in this thread already, all I'll add is to ask someone in your life for some help and you'll feel so much lighter :)
Just keep moving! And don't be lazy...
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