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Working Parents

Postby emma21 » Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:24 am

Hey Everyone :)

I went to a job interview today (first one since becoming a mummy) and it has got me thinking about what will happen if I do (fingers crossed) get the job... (other than the obvious - I will be employed :D)

My kids are aged 3 and 6 months.. Miss 3 is already in daycare two days a week so I can study and get things done with a bit of peace and quiet and Mr 6 months is just starting to do all the baby things - bubububub mumumumum, roll over, clap hands, giggle, shriek and squeal, teeth, sit up etc etc. Firstly I am wondering, how will daycare on a fulltime basis affect Miss 3? and how will being away from mummy 5 days a week (2 days in care and 3 days looked after by his Aunty) affect Mr 6 Months?

And how do you make sure you dont miss out on too much of their growing up? I was there for all of Miss 3's firsts and I wanted it to be the same for Mr 6 Months.

How do you keep yourself organised enough to have all the stuff for daycare, work, lunches, dinners ready? :?

How do you get time for yourself when you have a household to run as well as a full time job? :shock:

It might be sounding like I am not ready to work lol but this isnt the case. I am ready to get out there and start providing a better future for my kids!

I know it will take some adjusting, planning and organisation and I know I am bound to miss out on some of the milestones in my kids lives. :(

I would like to know how other people go about this. How they plan, what they do in advance... anything really. Because if I dont get this job, I will have to eventually face it when I do get a job down the track.

Thanks in advance :D

P.S. And how do you stay focused on losing weight and still continuing to exercise?!?! I dont want to put this weight on again!
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Postby Maraver » Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:42 am

Hi Emma

Can I ask if you have a partner to help you?

Its a big job you are asking of yourself to work fulltime while your children are that age, but it can work. I think you have to learn that you can't be the perfect employee the perfect Mum and the perfect housewife at the same time something has to go, I think its the housewife because the precious time you spend trying to keep on top of all the housework is time that you need to spend with your children.
When you get your job invest in a few time saving devices, things that will make your life easier at home,Big freezer for storing ready made meals,even now though I don't have any children at home I never make one of anything, if its spaghetti bolognese I make enough for three meals and freeze it, always have an ongoing menu so that you know when you leave for work in the morning what you are going to have for tea that night, a slow cooker is a great investment, just chuck everything in and leave it to simmer all day. You probably do this anyway but wash every single day, never let it pile up, hang it on a dryer over night it will dry fold it up in the morning, and my last tip is clean one room a day properly, keep on top of your kichen and your dirty washing and you will get through.
Well thats my advice, and never be afraid to ask for help, don't feel guilty, I still feel guilty now from years ago when I worked full time but I did not have anyone to give me advice and I tried to be everything to everyone and I can't, thats something I am still trying to deal with now.
Good luck in your new venture
Pam
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Thu Jun 07, 2007 9:37 am

hey emma i wont try to answer that one but will sit back and read what everyone else writes as one day i will have to go back to work and will be wondering the same things. best wishes for the job though i think in situations like this you get yourself into a routine and you do well to get on with things :)
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Thu Jun 07, 2007 9:56 am

Hi Emma,
these are the kinds of questions that start whizzing around my head when I contemplate having children too because my career is really important to me and I would go mental if I had to give it up. For me I think I would probably not go back to work for 12 months (due to breasfeeding and just general importance of that time) and then go back part time. It would be great if me and the bloke could work part time so that we don't need daycare, but that will depend on how the employers look at it.

A couple of people I work with have littlies and they work it so that mum works part time, so in one case, mum works Mon-Wed and Miss nearly 3 goes to 'little school' (daycare) and then she gets looked after by mum on Thurs Fri. I think dad also does one day with Miss nearly 3 as well.

Basically I think it's a very personal decision very influenced by your situation and you should do what you feel is right.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

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Postby emma21 » Thu Jun 07, 2007 11:13 am

I do have a partner... will he help? Not much :? Everything always seems like a chore to him. He works part-time but has odd hours so thats his excuse (however he doesnt find sleep a necessity when theres computer games to play). I think he has washed up twice in the last 3 months and as for cooking sureeeeeeeeeeeee lol

Sometimes I dont how we have lasted so long :D But I wont go into that here lol

Thanks for the tips. I have been umming and arring about getting a slow cooker but I will definitely be getting one when I get work. In the past I used to freeze meals (I was cooking meals for 4, splitting them in half, freezing half and then we were eating other half) and it worked well for a while. Until I hit a lazy spot, used all the frozen meals and didnt cook anymore to replace them :roll:

I think once I am in a routine, things will be fine. Either that or I will be very sleep deprived lol

:D
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Postby Chelle » Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:20 pm

I work night's so that I spend time with my kids throughout the day plus also I don't want to pay all that money to childcare. Even working night's that can be a bit hard with sleep depreprevation with not going to bed until early hours in the morning then having to get up early to the kids in the morning, it does take a toll.

I think when you get yourself into a routine you will be fine, kids will adapt to anything so you won''t have to worry about them. Your just lucky that you have family support around to look after you little one while you work. Good luck with the job!!!!
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:22 pm

hey emma you will be fine :) like you said once you are in a routine you will be fine. freezing meals is great - even freezing muffins etc to put in the kids lunch boxes is a good way to go as well. i know if i have a busy day i try and get as much done the night before as i can like pj's ready for the following night etc. remember that you can always ask for help from your support network. its a shame that your partner doesnt help out as much as he should but maybe when he sees how dedicated you are by working and being a mum as well he will chip in and help out more :)
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Postby Sassygirl » Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:34 pm

Hello there - I am a full-time working mother (with a husband which is sometimes a hindrence more then a help .. LOL). Anyway I never went back to work until my children were firmly in school full time (kindy and pre primary are hard because Kindy has 2 morns and 2 arvos a week and pre primary has the adjustment period of 2 weeks half time). I had to get my self into a routine of getting up earlier (I go to the gym first at 5.30) then I come home (usually around 6.30ish), make school lunches, get uniforms ready, iron clothes for work, get the girls up, make breakie for them, have a shower, grab something out of freezer for dinner that night, pack my work bag and we are generally out the door at around 7.50am. I try to cook extra meals on the weekends and freeze for during the week, I also make muffins for their recess and freeze them, try to do at least 2 loads of washing a week )put it on at night and hang out in morning). It does sound like hard work - but my children have settled into this life beautifully. They go to afterschool care three days a week, and the grandparents pick them up 2 times a week and feed them. For me it is all about routines - if you get one that works for you then stick to it. I do, however, feel guilty about not being able to pick them up after school, but my work is very flexible that if I need to go to school for something I can and if my children are sick I just take the time off. Anyway I am sure that you will get a lot of feedback to your question. Good luck with the job if you get it - but you have to make sure that it is the right move for you - I do have some sort of help.
2008 - my year to be great!!





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Postby yummymummy » Thu Jun 07, 2007 4:22 pm

Its all about routine!! Ive always worked but mainly part-time and I just had to keep on top of things and never let it build up so I often did washing at night or cleaned a room before going to work. Finding the right day care is tricky sometimes too, if the kids dont like where they are going it can be so difficult, I found family daycare the best option for me because I hated day care centres and my kids never settled in there where family day care is more home-like. Your partner will have to help you out, It would be so difficult for you to go to work run a household and raise the kids without assistance, some guys need to be told what to do, I used to leave hubby a list until he got into a routine, the list would say do 1 load of washing, clean and tidy kitchen and he was fine with it
Goodluck
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Postby Sassygirl » Thu Jun 07, 2007 4:54 pm

I agree with you - it is all about ROUTINE!
2008 - my year to be great!!





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Postby Dee » Thu Jun 07, 2007 7:56 pm

Unfortunately being a mum is a lot about sacrifice. Yes, you will get into a routine, and yes you will be able to juggle work, motherhood, etc.

You will probably end up resenting your partner if he continues to be a lazy so and so, but like you say, that's another story!

But you will miss some things, Mr. 6 Months may start to walk while you're at work, Miss 3 may first write her name while you're at work, and these things will break your heart. However, it will NOT hurt them in the long run if they are well looked after and they know you love them. You are doing a wonderful thing by looking towards building a better future from them, and through you they will learn such lessons as how imporant hard work is, that it is possible to be everything you want to be and that you don't get anything for nothing (except love)

Good luck, sweetie, it's not an easy journey - but then what part of parenting is?
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