It's a bit of a relief to know that I'm not the only one that feels like this. I have tried to discuss it with my girlfriends but they are all skinny and don't seem to understand where I am coming from. They just think I'm trying to think up excuses to push them away and they don't want to see me stuffing things up. Which is nice but not what I needed to hear.
I guess we are our greatest critics. We see things and spot our flaws that others just don't see.
Kate - something I've come to discover is that I hate being alone. Being alone has been making me depressed. Yes I do have to work at my health and wellbeing and I'm going to do it but I also want to get out there and live and have fun while I don't have any attachments or responsibilities.
One Saturday night I was sitting on my balcony alone drinking wine watching the little ant people (hahaha) going to clubs, having fun and the realisation that I was home feeling sorry and miserable for myself woke me up. I want to get out there and mingle and meet new people. It's part of the journey of discovering who I am.
Yes I am battling to lose weight but one thing I know is that I don't want to miss an opportunity because my self belief has been knocked to the ground. You are so right. Why else would they bother to stick around if they weren't interested in me the person.
Sassi - you made sense, didn't ramble and weren't harsh at all. You made some very good points.
Clearly my thoughts don't match up to there’s. I never looked at it that way. It's amazing what self-doubt does to someone. If they like what they see at my worst it can only get better
It's hard not to listing to those thoughts in your head. Taking compliments is hard too, as it contradicts everything that you believe to true. If only we could see what they see without always spotting the flaws.
Thank you ladies for your valuable input. I really do appreciate it.