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Boyfriend Trouble

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Postby electrongirl » Tue Sep 18, 2007 9:16 pm

my ex started getting text messages and emails from a girl he worked with and he told me that it was nothing she was just a friend yadda yadda...

then one night when he was asleep and I was up watching tv his phone when off right next to me.

stuff it I thought, if he doesn't have anything to hide then why not..

well her message was "I'm at the paramount shaking my butt on the dancefloor"

who sends someone a message like that!!!

anyway after we had broken up but were still in the same house I was getting some files off his pc that were mine and I noticed a jpeg on his desktop that was called her name.

I opened it and it was a lewd picture of her. I was disgusted. Then I got really mad and read his emails and found emails they had sent each other WHILE we were still together about having censored in his car.....

I think if he doesn't have anything to hide he should show you the messages.
Nikki - Aussie girl living in the USA with her soul mate. My blog: http://aus2usa.blogspot.com/

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Postby electrongirl » Tue Sep 18, 2007 9:18 pm

I forgot to add, even after we broke up he always denied anything happened between them.

Then about 6 months after I got married, hubby and I were at the movies and guess who we bumped into!!

Apparently they got together right after he moved out...
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Postby BusyMum » Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:54 am

Ah this is all so raw to me. Except in my case I was the one doing the messaging :oops: .

I was talking to a guy that I used to go to school with who I liked for a long time. I used to talk to him EVERY night on the phone after I moved and we were like best mates. I always wanted it to be more. But I didnt think he did, so we never discussed the possibility. I just tried to move on. That was when I met my now Fiance. I stopped talking to the guy from school and over the next few years we lost contact. About 2yrs ago he started going out with my cousin. And in the last probably 6 months we started to talk alot more. It was like we had just picked up where we left off all those years ago. DP didnt like me texting him, especially after he broke up with my cousin. So for a few weeks we were "secretly" texting each other. We spoke about how I had liked him in the past and he said that he had felt the same. It just would have had to be a long distance thing at the time. And well, long distance things arent likely to work out :cry: . So then we sort of said "Well if I didnt have kids... and things were different" and that sort of thing. DP read ALL of those messages while I was out getting the clothes off of the line one day. He didnt talk to me for about 8 hours after that. And then he told me I could leave and leave the kids with him :shock: or I could I promise him I would NEVER message this guy again. Obviously I havent messaged the guy since. And it has been REALLY hard. But I think I done the right thing.

Anyway, long story short. I think you should confront your bf about it. Because while he may not have done anything with this girl, he might be thinking about it. And you need to do something about it now.
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Wed Sep 19, 2007 11:14 am

wow its good to read a different perspective on it hey.
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Postby loveat116 » Wed Sep 19, 2007 2:33 pm

Wow thanks for all the replies.

Sad thing is we broke up this morning. Last night at about 11pm I said I wasnt tired and asked to turn on the light, he wouldnt answer me even though I was awake, so I said I knew he was, so he kicked me about 10 times in the back and I was kicked off the bed. I wasnt hurt, but I was in shock that he would do something like that.

I dont find that acceptable. I dont find him messaging other girls acceptable too, and yeah its a difference of opinions so its probably best that we broke up. I know we both dont want this, but we fight so much I dont see another alternative. At the moment I havent talked to him, so not sure whats gonna happen.

I know I should be upset, we've been together so long, but now I can do all the stuff I wanna do! I'd love to go to Uni on the Gold Coast next year, now I reckon im gonna do it.

So i called in sick to work today and had a few pieces of pizza and watching friends..
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Postby madeline » Wed Sep 19, 2007 2:51 pm

loveat116 wrote:Wow thanks for all the replies.

Sad thing is we broke up this morning. Last night at about 11pm I said I wasnt tired and asked to turn on the light, he wouldnt answer me even though I was awake, so I said I knew he was, so he kicked me about 10 times in the back and I was kicked off the bed. I wasnt hurt, but I was in shock that he would do something like that.

I dont find that acceptable. I dont find him messaging other girls acceptable too, and yeah its a difference of opinions so its probably best that we broke up. I know we both dont want this, but we fight so much I dont see another alternative. At the moment I havent talked to him, so not sure whats gonna happen.

I know I should be upset, we've been together so long, but now I can do all the stuff I wanna do! I'd love to go to Uni on the Gold Coast next year, now I reckon im gonna do it.

So i called in sick to work today and had a few pieces of pizza and watching friends..


Aww ella *hugs* baby girl :( I'm glad you're not too upset, you deserve the best, and he wasn't it. Uni on the Gold Coast sounds fantastic by the way (Bond, is it?), I'd love to do something like that!
"Ððñ'† µ wï§h ¥ðµr gïrl£rïêñÐ wå§ hð† lïkê mê, Ððñ'† ¥å ßåߥ ;)"
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Postby loveat116 » Wed Sep 19, 2007 2:53 pm

Nah Bond doesn't have the course I wanna do but Griffith does, maybe even sunshine coast uni...

I was only at my job to save up money cause I thought we were gonna buy a house together, but I hate my job lol. And I really wanna do teaching an now I can! (I can do it in Hobart but... Hobart sucks and it takes 5 years here)
Starting Weight: 62kg Current Weight: 55.0kg Goal Weight: 54kg

Goal Reached 22 February 2008, Must get down to 54kg again!
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Postby oostevens » Wed Sep 19, 2007 3:05 pm

oh qld is great :) and the sunshine coast rocks!

sorry to hear about the breakup, but yes u deserve much much better!

And if he was keeping u from doing everything u wanted, then what kind of boyfriend was he!

Get out, have fun, do what u wanna do, be what u wanna be yeaaaah (sorry bit of a tangent there)

If u ever wanna chat, or if u do move up here there are a few awesome people on here that would be happy to meet you :)

I am glad this resolved itself, and yes i recon u deserve a guy who respects u, is honest and allows u to achieve ur dreams :)

no one should ever stop u from living the life u want to live.
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YOU CAN DOOO IT!!!!!

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[Second goal: to reach 75kgs]

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Postby kate_turner2000 » Wed Sep 19, 2007 4:06 pm

aw im sorry to hear that ella thats really a shame that you were treated the way you were. you deserve that sick day off today. it wont hurt to have some time to yourself to evaluate your future. feel better soon!!
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Wed Sep 19, 2007 5:37 pm

Hey Ella,
what he did to you was definitely NOT acceptable. In fact it's entirely UNacceptable and IMHO criminal. I would call that assault in fact. The fact that you said you fought all the time, I think it probably is best that you ended that relationship, you don't have to put up with that and in my work I have become aware that things escalate very quickly into much worse situations. There are plenty of nice guys out there that would not treat you like that.

If you ever need some support, let me know since I'm in Hobart and all.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

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Postby lng86 » Wed Sep 19, 2007 6:52 pm

Relationships are hard... But I hope you find your prince charming soon enough! You deserve nothing but the best.
To succeed you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you - Myself (Lauren)
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