It is currently Sat Feb 25, 2017 4:37 am
kate_turner2000 wrote:hey guys
i thought this was the best place to vent about something because i dont know you guys personally (as in real life) but i have some great mates here whose opinions mean a lot to me.
after my dad passed away my mum became a multimillionare due to all the hard work my dad did in his life and sensible decisions they both made together. however since meeting my step dad my mum and him made some choices that ultimately have left her with nothing and she is now in debt. she doesnt work, she has always been a homemaker, my step dad is supposed to be a truck driver/machine operator but does this when he feels like it and swaps jobs all the time. my mum has set him up many business ventures over the years- get rich quick schemes etc. i have come to accept my step dad as my mums husband and that she loves him etc. i get along well with him although in my teen years i did not. i rebelled. i lvoe my mum dearly but i am getting depressed seeing the financial problems she is having. my brother still lives at home with mum and step dad because he has said to me that he doesnt feel he can leave (he had moved out years ago but moved back in to help mum) because he is helping them out financially. they owe him a couple of thousand dollars. the thing is, she is asking me for money now. we are on a single income, we have a car payment, we are saving for our first family holiday next year. i simply cannot afford to keep lending her money. its not extreme amounts but she is a couple of packs a day smoker so she never has money for smokes so she "borrows" money off people for her smokes but doesnt pay them back. my brother left some money at their place yesterday for me cos i brought his newspapers from the newsagency the other day (he rang and asked me to pick them up as he was away) and when i got to mums she had spent the money. i know it might sound petty because its 10 bucks here or 15 bucks there but it all adds up and i know i wont see it again. mick and i are trying our best to get nice things for ourselves and heidi but sometimes i feel like lending money to mum is holding me back. her and my step dad would rather pay for wine and beer and smokes instead of paying their rent, or buying food. my mum recently went to qld (my sister paid her airfare) to help my sister after my niece was in a car accident. she went for a week and i told her that i would go around and clean her house for her whilst she was away cos my step dad and brother were 'bachelors' for the week. i got around there and there was no cleaning stuff. just empty bottles of things everywhere like bleach, disinfectant, toilet cleaner etc. my mum has always been a clean freak like me but she is slacking off now on necessities to buy her smokes and alcohol.
it is really depressing me and i am starting to not want to walk around and see her each day because i know she will hit me up for money or ill hear about some outstanding bill they have for nearly $1000 that they cant pay. as ive said they have made a couple of pretty stupid decisions since meeting, and we sometimes wonder where all their money goes! my mum gets a pension cos my dad was a war veteran, my step dad works and gets paid when he does work, they got mums super through not long ago- its all gone. they got a couple of grand back from tax and its all gone. i dont understand it.
what can i do? im at my wits end because i hate seeing my mum in the situation theyre in. my brother is basically suicidal about it all, and i cant keep lending her money here and there for smokes and things like that when im not getting the money back.
today mum asked for money for smokes and then i told her i need it back by friday because i have micks birthday present to buy and she said oh dont worry about it. and then before i left she goes, 'oh ill walk to the shops with you and get you to buy me a small pkt of smokes and then ill only have to pay you back $10' so we were walking to the shops and mum goes 'oh you have lost weight, you can really tell' and comments like that i dont know if she is being honest or just being nice about it because she is getting a pkt of smokes!
sorry i just had to vent it all
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