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When is cheating, cheating?

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When is cheating, cheating?

Postby help6363 » Sun Sep 30, 2007 9:25 pm

In today's modern lifestyle so many people cross boundries and do not even seem to think about it.

Recently, I was seeing a guy (who behind my back) used his webcam to have Internet adult fun with a woman that he has had physical contact with before. When I found out, I dumped him and his only response was, 'well if you did not want to know the truth you should not have asked the question'.

I replied by stating that he should not have done something if he knew the likely outcome. I then went on to explain cause and effect.

Oh, the woman he was having adult fun with is married and lives in another state. Yes, she was married when they had physical contact.

He then send me numerous email messages about IM conversations that stated that he was not cheating.

Never did I accuse him of cheating......what I did say was that he was 'morally bankrupt' and that he has caused me to be distrusting towards him.

People have commented that I was too harsh. I am just interested..... if your partner used a webcam to have adult fun what would your reaction be?

Have a great day!


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Postby Cass101 » Sun Sep 30, 2007 9:30 pm

I'd dump his butt on the side walk! I don't think a man needs someone else (real or movie form) in a loving relationship! and if he wanted to get naughty like that he should have come to you first!
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Postby electrongirl » Sun Sep 30, 2007 10:04 pm

my definition of cheating is simple:

doing something that you know your partner wouldn't be happy about.

I think there are alot of different levels of cheating:


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Postby electrongirl » Sun Sep 30, 2007 10:06 pm

PS: my ex used to look at porn on the internet behind my back. Normally I wouldn't have had a problem with that, men are men.

BUT he refused to have censored with me because I gained 10kg.

And then he had the nerve to pleasure himself to "fake" women!!
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Postby Rustie » Mon Oct 01, 2007 12:56 am

My partner and i have been together for 1 yr... About 6 months ago I send a MMS to a male friend of ours which happened to contain one of my nipples..(you could hardly see it)
Well we nearly broke up over it! It was a major case of bad judgement and never since have i even picked up my phone to send another picture of me to anyone!

I think that having a webcam "session" with someone else is cheating... its just not right..

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Postby ISparkyI » Mon Oct 01, 2007 1:56 am

Using a webcam with another person for Adult fun is definitely cheating . .

Totally agree with the statement of if you know you or your partner both think its wrong . . then it shouldn't be done . .

Glad you did what you did in the end . .

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Postby kate_turner2000 » Mon Oct 01, 2007 8:16 am

ditto to what sparky has said. plain and simple, he was in the wrong. you dont need that in your life.
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Postby bear » Mon Oct 01, 2007 9:28 am

I think you are in the right!! :D
Don't beat yourself up or doubt yourself!!
I agree with everyone else's reply!!
Cheating is Cheating!! As stated before there are many forms!!
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Postby talia11 » Mon Oct 01, 2007 9:33 am

I wouldn't call it 'cheating' but it is definitely distrustful - If my hubby was doing anythign like that with my knowledge, consetn or involvment - then it is a decision we would have made together - on his own and hiding it tells me that although he may not be doing at the moment, he may well do in the future...
Right choice to dump him and I love the 'morally bankrupt' too!
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Postby MissE » Mon Oct 01, 2007 1:51 pm

my definition of cheating is doing something that your partner would *reasonably* view as cheating. It changes with partners and is very individual. and just coz your psycho jealous partner sees something as cheating doesnt mean it is, thats where the 'reasonable' comes into play.
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Postby Chelle » Mon Oct 01, 2007 4:00 pm

You have every right to dump his backside. Cheating is cheating no mather what form it is. If his not 100% commited to you then his not worth it honey you are a beautiful person michelle don't need to put up with that crapolar excuse. I suppose he use that line of excuse It not cheating if it in a different area code / state
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Postby help6363 » Mon Oct 01, 2007 4:51 pm

Thanks everyone for your replies! :D I was starting to think there was something wrong with me because everyone is saying that I am over-reacting.

I do believe that boundries are needed in relationships...boundries are different in each adult relationship. Some people would agree that they would be okay with this....but it's really not for me. In saying that, if another couple's relationship boundries are different it's not for me to judge (just as long as NOBODY is geting hurt or harmed in any manner).

Anyway, thanks everyone for making me feel as though I have made the best decision by leaving him.
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Postby *KaTe* » Mon Oct 01, 2007 6:30 pm

Great advice from everyone! Gotta love this forum :D

I think you made the right decision, good on you for being so strong and believing in yourself!

Guys love there porn, thats reality! But for him to take it way beyond that by using the web cam...and with some one he's been with before!? Thats definately cheating and very disrespectful to you!

All the best, keep your head high and remember you deserve better~! :D

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