It is currently Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:32 pm

Free Newsletter

Male Bashing Jokes

A place to post jokes and other fun stuff to give us a laugh.

Moderator: Moderators

Male Bashing Jokes

Postby Dolly » Tue Jul 25, 2006 10:05 pm

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
User avatar
Dolly
 
Posts: 3335
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:49 pm
Location: Perth, WA

Postby Dolly » Tue Jul 25, 2006 10:18 pm

The Seamstress Story

ONE DAY, WHEN A SEAMSTRESS WAS SEWING WHILE SITTING CLOSE TO A RIVER, HER THIMBLE FELL INTO THE RIVER.
WHEN SHE CRIED OUT, THE LORD APPEARED AND ASKED, "MY DEAR CHILD, WHY ARE YOU CRYING?"
THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED THAT HER THIMBLE HAD FALLEN INTO THE WATER AND THAT SHE NEEDED IT TO HELP HER HUSBAND IN MAKING A LIVING FOR THEIR FAMILY.

THE LORD DIPPED HIS HAND INTO THE WATER AND PULLED UP A GOLDEN THIMBLE SET WITH PEARLS. "IS THIS YOUR THIMBLE?" THE LORD ASKED. THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "NO."

THE LORD AGAIN DIPPED INTO THE RIVER. HE HELD OUT A SILVER THIMBLE RINGED WITH SAPPHIRES. "IS THIS YOUR THIMBLE?" THE LORD ASKED. AGAIN, THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "NO." THE LORD REACHED DOWN AGAIN AND CAME UP WITH A LEATHER THIMBLE.

"IS THISYOUR THIMBLE?" THE LORD ASKED. THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "YES." THE LORD WAS PLEASED WITH THE WOMAN'S HONESTY AND GAVE HER ALL THREE THIMBLES TO KEEP, AND THE SEAMSTRESS WENT HOME HAPPY.

SOME YEARS LATER, THE SEAMSTRESS WAS WALKING WITH HER HUSBAND ALONG THE RIVERBANK, AND HER HUSBAND FELL INTO THE RIVER AND DISAPPEARED UNDER THE WATER. WHEN SHE CRIED OUT, THE LORD AGAIN APPEARED AND ASKED HER, "WHY ARE YOU CRYING?"

"OH LORD, MY HUSBAND HAS FALLEN INTO THE RIVER!" THE LORD WENT DOWN INTO THE WATER AND CAME UP WITH MEL GIBSON. "IS THIS YOUR HUSBAND?" THE LORD ASKED. "YES," CRIED THE SEAMSTRESS.

THE LORD WAS FURIOUS. "YOU LIED! THAT IS AN UNTRUTH!"

THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "OH, FORGIVE ME, MY LORD. IT IS A MISUNDERSTANDING. YOU SEE, IF I HAD SAID 'NO' TO MEL GIBSON, YOU WOULD HAVE COME UP WITH TOM CRUISE. THEN IF I SAID 'NO' TO HIM, YOU WOULD HAVE COME UP WITH MY HUSBAND. HAD I THEN SAID 'YES,' YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME ALL THREE. LORD, I'M NOT IN THE BEST OF HEALTH AND WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF ALL THREE HUSBANDS, SO THAT'S WHY I SAID 'YES' TO MEL GIBSON."

THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS: - UNLIKE MALES, WHENEVER A WOMAN LIES, IT'S FOR A GOOD AND HONORABLE REASON, AND IN THE BEST INTEREST OF OTHERS.

WELL THAT'S OUR STORY, AND WE'RE STICKING TO IT . .
User avatar
Dolly
 
Posts: 3335
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:49 pm
Location: Perth, WA

Postby Dolly » Sun Jul 30, 2006 6:49 am

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her"
but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter than men........
User avatar
Dolly
 
Posts: 3335
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:49 pm
Location: Perth, WA

Postby SarahC » Fri Aug 11, 2006 9:50 am

Apples and Grapes

Women are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men............................. Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the s*** out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Share this with all the good apples you know :D
User avatar
SarahC
 
Posts: 2542
Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:17 pm
Location: Werribee, VIC, AU

Postby Dolly » Fri Aug 11, 2006 10:37 am

lol
User avatar
Dolly
 
Posts: 3335
Joined: Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:49 pm
Location: Perth, WA

Postby Garfield » Tue Aug 22, 2006 7:37 pm

Men are like....

1. Men are like ..Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like.Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ......Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .......Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ...Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like .....Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of
emotion.
10. Men are like .Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a
little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .......Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very
bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
Image
[/url]
User avatar
Garfield
 
Posts: 235
Joined: Tue Aug 22, 2006 6:54 pm
Location: Canberra

Postby Ally » Tue Aug 22, 2006 9:26 pm

ROFLMAO thanks Garfield needed a good laugh!!! :lol:
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wGLHYSm/]
Image
[/url]
Ally
 
Posts: 4799
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2006 11:23 am
Location: Rockhamtpon, Central Queensland!


Return to Just for Fun

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron