Kevin the Kiwi
Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of Gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was on heat.
To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Kevin, a big Kiwi lad, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery.
Kevin, like most Kiwis, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species.
So, the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.
Kevin was approached with a proposition.
Would he be willing to have censored with the gorilla for $500?
Kevin showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Kevin announced that he would accept their offer, only under three conditions:
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kuss er."
"Sicondly, you must niver tull anyone about thus."
The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
"Wull," said Kevin, "You gotta give me another wik to come up with the $500."