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Pet Diaries

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Pet Diaries

Postby mrs c » Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:54 am

The Diary of a Dog

8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my family! My favorite thing!
11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Diary of a Cat

It is day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
other inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only
thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust
them, I vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was
some sort of assembly of their acc omplices tonight. I was placed in
solitary co nfinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear
the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to
the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it
to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was
walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe....... for now.
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Postby mrs c » Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:55 am

Apologies - just realised someone posted this already!

I may have been dropped on my head as a child, thats my only explanation :oops:
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Postby Chelle » Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:57 pm

I was thinking that that I have already read it before
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Postby KimE » Wed Apr 11, 2007 5:11 pm

I haven't read it before and thought it priceless. I have a cat you see and I swear she looks at me with contempt sometimes as if she is only just putting up with me. Hubby thinks the opposite and that my cat is in love with me and it's all just wierd....he's not a cat person you see.
Kim - To thine own self be true
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Preferred Weight - Under 60 kgs
Current Weight - 64.8 kgs
Start Weight - 85 kgs
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Postby *KaTe* » Wed Apr 11, 2007 5:28 pm

lol thats so cute!!! I LOVE CATS 8) I love all animals but cats are awesome, no matter what my cat does he gets away with it cos he's sooo cute and fluffy! He he...and the fact he's my baby, is around 16 yrs old and hand him since he was a little kitten! :D
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Postby enli » Wed Apr 11, 2007 5:47 pm

I love it... Have never seen it before but I have both cats and dogs... I breed dogs and life revolves around the animals so that just really hit home for me!!!! :lol:
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Thu Apr 12, 2007 12:35 pm

what sort of dogs do you breed??
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby Puffer » Sat Apr 14, 2007 4:32 pm

That's great! I have a pet rabbit... I can't decide if she is more like a cat or a dog, a bit of an in between I think!
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