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How to shower!!!!!

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How to shower!!!!!

Postby Chelle » Mon May 21, 2007 2:29 pm

This an email I recieved:

How To Shower Like A Woman:

>>Take off clothes and place then in sectioned laundry basket
according to lights and darks.

>>Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

>>If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

>>Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.

>>Get in the shower.

>>Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.

>>Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43
added vitamins.

>>Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

>>Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner

>>Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until red.

>>Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body


>>Shave armpits and legs.

>>Rinse conditioner off hair.

>>Turn off shower.

>>Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

>>Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner

>>Get out of shower.

>>Dry with towel the size of a small country.

>>Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

>>Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

>>If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How to Shower Like A Man:

>>Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.

>>Walk naked to the bathroom.

>>If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the
'woo-woo' sound.

>>Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

>>Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

>>Get in the shower.

>>Wash your face.

>>Wash your armpits.

>>Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

>>Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

>>Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

>>Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the

>>Wash your hair.

>>Make a Shampoo Mohican.

>>Wee in big circles and watch it go down the plughole.

>>Rinse off and get out of shower.

>>Partially dry off.

>>Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of
bath the whole time.

>>Admire willy size in mirror again.

>>Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

>>Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

>>If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make
the'woo-woo' sound again.

>>Throw wet towel on bed.

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Postby Jisgone » Mon May 21, 2007 2:42 pm

haha sounds slightly familiar :P
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Postby Lolly » Mon May 21, 2007 8:55 pm

Ok I mustn't be a real woman :cry: I don't have apricot facial scrub :cry: :cry: :cry:

Oh, and I want to know who has been watching my hubby shower :shock:
Every day I am getting thinner and thinner.....

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Joined: Wed Dec 27, 2006 7:02 am
Location: inside my fat body trying to get out

Postby kate_turner2000 » Mon May 21, 2007 9:40 pm

im sitting here wondering why my fiance has a lot of the women showering qualities?! he takes just as much time getting ready as myself :) hehe
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