Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to a maximum speed on the long corridors. Because she and her fellow residents are one sandwich short of a picnic, they all tolerate each other and some of the males actually join in.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Mad Mike stepped out from his room with his arms outstretched. "STOP! Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK," he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird William popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag and pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him. William nodded and said, "Carry on ma'am."
As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Bonkers Brian stepped out in front of her, stark naked and holding a very sizable (for his age) erection in his hand.
"Oh, no!" said Ethel. "NOT the breathalizer again!"
2008 - my year to be great!!