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MAKING A BABY...

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MAKING A BABY...

Postby Sassygirl » Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:21 pm

>THERE IS NOT ONE DIRTY WORD IN THIS ....... VERY FUNNY
>
>The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
>decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
>
>On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his
>wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now; the man should be here soon."
>Half an hour later, just by chance,
>a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping
>to make a sale.
>Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
>Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
>"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well,
>that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
>"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
>Please come in and have a seat"
>After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
>bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
>sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can
>really spread out there."
>"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
>work out for Harry and me!"
>"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But
>if we try several different positions and I shoot
>from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the
>results."
>"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
>"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
>time. I'd love to be in and out in five
>minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
>"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out
>a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a
>bus," he said.
>"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
>
>"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider
>their mother was so difficult to work with."
>"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
>"Yes, I'm afraid so, I finally had to take her to
>the park to get
>the job done right. People were crowding around
>four and five deep to get a good look."
>"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide
>with amazement.
>"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours,
>too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling
> I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to
>rush my shots.
>Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
>equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
>actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
>"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my
>tripod and we can get to work right away."
>"Tripod?"
>"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
>much too big to be held in the hand very long."
>Mrs. Smith fainted.........
2008 - my year to be great!!





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Postby kate_turner2000 » Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:46 pm

hehe shes gotta be blonde ;)
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Postby Sassygirl » Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:19 pm

Hay Kate - glad you and your family are safe and sound. I lived through 3 floods when I lived in the Country - not a very nice thing to go through. The water level in our house was about 4 bricks high. My brother is in Newcastle and my niece lives in Raymond Terrace - both are safe - thank God!
2008 - my year to be great!!





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Postby kate_turner2000 » Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:31 pm

hey michelle :) im glad to hear your family members are fine and well :) its a worry! i never would have thought floods would hit newcastle again- wouldve expected another earthquake before floods. now they have to salvage that ship before it causes any damage to the coastline
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