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READ: Three word story!!!

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READ: Three word story!!!

Postby Chelle » Tue Jul 24, 2007 1:37 pm

Once upon a time in France, there was a large blue truck that drove to Dover in England to collect a, by the water, to have a raspberry ice cream. The ice cream was melting really quick so I wrapped it in my pants. It was so cold that I went blue and it stuck to my torso. As I peeled like a banana in the sun until I put my top on, then I jumped into the river for a wash. As I swam with the tadpoles I felt something wriggle up my jeans leg into my underwear and I squealed "get jiggly with me!". So I ended up jigging with a platypus from the Tasmanian town, Dynnyrne. He was terribly terribly lost so I gave him a ride to Taroona Station to say goodbye to his pet Tortoise who came over for a visit from his aunties beach shack far far away. When he went into a tunnel I touched his hideaway lolly statch with my ingrown nail, it was really really gross!!! So I ate some quickeze tablets to ease the pain that it was causing me. My sister told me lets do lunch at the starbucks on main and biatch about her ex-boyfriend and his dog. I think deep down I love his body, it is covered in zits and red freckles which I lick one day last Tuesday, Thursday and I think tomorrow. He says that he likes it when I cook up a storm in the kitchen do a great lasagna and Garfield came with Odie and a plate of sausages. Tonight the beers were on so we drank till we were hopping down the stairs. Just then she fell and almost landed on a chocolate cake. "Yummy" they buzzed as they stuffed their mouths. Just then the postman delivered a huge parcel of knickknacks, I held them up to my nose for a sniff, mmmmm! Is that strawberries? I looked around to see if I could jump over the puddle into the storm water but missed the step and broke my finger! OUCH! Crying, I wrapped it in sticky tape. Samantha arrived and laughed at my decision to dress in drag for Carlotta and her merry men. However, Carlotta did not have any knowledge what so ever of the involvement to dress like that in public but I reckon the affair between Carlotta and her buddy Jeanne Little has to be outrageous darlings! What a wig you have on there you sexy beast! Just in time Ronald McDonald bounced into a tree smack bang right into the birds and fell onto that darn cat "meow"!! It fell and hit his knee - which shattered into tiny bits. She began to shovel the bone back into the knee and shook the bottle of acid over Ronald's french fried face!!!! I cracked up as he screamed the house down. Lets all just eat french fries and count calories all day long. Yippee!!! sounds like a plan Stan! Later that day I skid down on my ass to the opera. It wasn't very vocal because Madonna had strep throat. Guy Sebastian took out his microphone, sang "Elevator Love" in purple flares. Love that funky beret Mrs Robinson! You look like fried rice? She was devastated. What a horrible person to say such nonsense to me. I punched him on the nose with the spatula and he said "I'll be back! And I'll bring Hamburglar and Grimace to bring it on". The snowflake dropped and banged into the snowman with the snowplow, Barney Gumble drove drunk while Homer spanked Bart's butt. "Look out!" said Barney as he almost hit a pedestrian whilst eating a giant hamburger. Pickles are gross when put in disgusting red hot chili spiced sauce. They taste like cows testes yuck! I much prefer goat cheese sauce the pedestrian cried as he reached for the hamburger. look! Its my favorite big red wiggles car! I hitched a ride and found myself grabbing hold of a telegraph pole I jumped out to the footpath legs open wide with my knickers in the air I wet myself and started to dance around the urine with glee! As I danced amongst the gum I hailed a firetruck to take care of my sore armpits which had fleas in the ingrown hairs with funny hanging possums off them. The spider laughed when i squashed his hairy leg into my scabby old hair piece, my nanna gave me on my 18th birthday because I have alopacia. Now that's done I need friends I might start to boogie dance to the nutbush! I can't wait for karaoke night I said to the gypsy 'hurrah!' Singing is the way to go! The night finally came to end so i slept and began dreaming about munchkins and dwarfs who ate pickles in bed. When I woke up, someone had made a big pot of dumplings to go with my apple strudel. Yummy I ate the plate and the cutlery too. urgh! food poisoning! Wicked little thing I kicked it and punched the wall. I can't believe i sucked my grape push-pop whilst tiptoeing through the broken glass i bent down and pulled the cord on the stove top and burn the house down to the ghetto on main it was very happening with groovy orange lights. When I roller skated over to the disco and grinded Sonny into the wall "do the hussle" I demanded as Sonny kicked his foot into the disc jockey. Moonbeams glistened in the twilight, 'rock the world I screamed' as I reached into Sonny's pocket out I pulled the corkscrew and cracked open a bottle of moet ooooh I exclaimed as Sonny skulled the blinkin' bottle right there and then. YOU GANNUT-GUTS Sonny! i hate it when you lap up my spilt wine!! Go for it sonny! Just do it you lap dog! As sonny was winding down after drinking all that moet, i caught a whiff of my nan's Cedel and ran quickly before she caught bug going around. I love to kick the can with Geffory he crumpled the dog and threw a bone to the leg humping dog, Whilst playing my mouth organ she loved every minute of the tune Just then the copper arrived and kicked me up the curb -hurrah! I was most pleased by this. But forgot to tie my shoes I tripped over and my underwear were showing naughty words on them. I picked them up accidentally swung around knocking Ronald out! in one hit!!! kapow! batman arrived with robin his side-kick in tow. I'd like to bust your buttons! And kick your behind to Vegas! Robin just laughed and wagged his tail feather to batman's sister Sonia before they left because he knew an affair was questionable. Robin sat on Sonia's knee felt a bump in his pocket, Pulled out a lollipop and sucked liked I never seen before! Whoa! How did you do that handstand? Sonia will you hold me feet while I lift that fruit bat and put it up your nose. Sonia sniffed and took a breath snorting it right into my throat. That tastes like chicken schnitzel Sweetheart! As she swallowed the piece of bat brains she nibbled the flesh then spat it at Sonny who ate it up!! Hospital for you, lots of needles, to numb your now swollen throat. “Quick nurse get a doctor" the patient needs to be knocked to the hilt! Laying there sedated, Sonia took control of the needle chuckled wickedly and stuck it right into my rectum. "ARRRRRRRHH what the blithering blazes in hell are you doing Alf Stewart!” Flamin' heck I am dinky di! Get the bludger a diet coke before he goes into shock. Alf rolled his eyes go and get an eye patch to cover that mole on my left eye lid. So I don't understand where he has gone to with that platter of fruit and cheese from all over the ward. matron Sloane abused me but I couldn't do it abuse her back 'damn you Sloane! 'bugger off and annoy someone else you annoying little matron! batman where the heck is robin going with the doctor's wife "he's going to give her a sausage sanga and some creaming soda whipped cream and and apple pie. whats the time? said the doctor to Sonia in a husky voice i need to take a leak at the top of the Empire state building but my kidney stones hurt so I went to the centrepoint tower instead. Damn!! The loo's in this city! They really are stinky and gross and full of seaweed and candles which made the toilet smell worse Smells like someone's thrown a dog poo & wee at the Arc De Triomph. Wow what a view I thought whilst peeing from the side road behind the stop sign next to the service station Shell petrol is so expensive and the hot service attendant showed me where he hid the horcrux of Harry it was a charm bracelet that had a secret spell inside it Don't let Ron take my spells to griffendor tower or else he'll lose it by licking it, tonight when the potion boils and bubbles Ron gets all emotional and tricksy he cries and loses his marbles. He makes me EAT CHOCOLATE CAKE Damn you Ron!! You are nuts! you monkey boy! The spells were supposed to contaminate Harry's jock draw! my undies! Argh! Now I will have to put some on layby! best N Less have some on the rack for 20c a pair! what a bargain! I think I will buy 20 for that price I will have a fashionable wand at my command wave it forwards and see what spurts out the top of the "wand" and tastes not very nice for us humans. Look at it I'll tell you whats in it? chocolate, nuts and cashews are yum if i just pop them in all in together and watch them twirl around and upside down, inside the washing machine.. Wish and wash & twirl like a ballerina and flapped like a pelican wild at sea. Where is Sonia? She is always doing that crossword puzzle in That's life & Take 5 on the loo all day long. The phone rang and batman made a rude gesture behind Robin's back How could he?! Shattered by the explosion, pieces of belly button lint which taste like cotton candy!! don't forget the waxy cotton tip's that also dig my ear & make me do the mopping to clean up the ear wax used sometimes as furniture polish a low-kj snack on the weekend. I'm buggered that mopping tires me out I might as well lick the floor myself. I would do it donkey style & make an anaconda feather boa OH LA LA 's'its svery fancee' Batman i like French women and small pieces of cheese which smells like toast, French crossient with butter and jam!! If only I
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Tue Jul 24, 2007 1:39 pm

LOL thanks for putting that together chelle it was a funny read
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Postby Playboy_bunny » Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:02 pm

LOL hahaha soo funny!
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Postby grugwashere » Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:49 pm

thanks chelle, that must have taken ages to put together?
SW:91kg
CW:75kg
GW: Somwhere in the 60's for now

Next mini goal:73kg
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Postby Chelle » Tue Jul 24, 2007 4:29 pm

That's alright I been sick all day so nothing else better to do. Yeah it took me well over an hour to put it all together.
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Postby grugwashere » Tue Jul 24, 2007 6:09 pm

i love doing those sitting ina circle.. we always pick on my nan lol.. she hates it when we get really repetitive.. we said in the bathtub over and over and over again once
SW:91kg
CW:75kg
GW: Somwhere in the 60's for now

Next mini goal:73kg
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Postby Sassygirl » Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:21 pm

hehehehehe - what a great read :lol:
2008 - my year to be great!!





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