Today, something inside me has clicked.....as many of you know, I suffer from binge eating disorder and I am currently in therapy for it and seeing a dietician, who recommends that I do optifast program to lose the weight and have a 'complete break' from food....anyway, I have been TRYING to do this for the past 3 months or so, always the same, start with day with opti, (longest I have managed to stay on it is 8 days) get to about lunchtime, starving, eat a sandwich, then biscuits, then a few more sandwiches, then chips, then whatever else I can gorge on, then go to the shop, buy a block of chocolate, a bag of white choc licorice,an ice cream, a bag of doritos....I eat it all, then dinner and sit wishing for more
I go to bed with a sore full stomach and a migraine feeling soo bad and disgusted with myself and out of control....anyway, I have realised today that I cannot remember a day that I have gotten out of bed and eaten a 'real' breakfast, then had m/t, lunch, a/t dinner, etc.....I started opti to change my relationship with food and my bad habits, but all I have done is create new negative ones!
I know how to eat healthy, I did it before and lost 27 kgs (gained it all back in under 3 months when bingeing began) I know how to exercise, and what I need to do to be healthy...I just havent been putting it into practice....anyway I just wanted to say that I have had a 'lightbulb moment' this afternoon, which is that I am not doing myself any good at all with these shakes.....its the same cycle......binge, starve, binge, starve.....and I dont want to do it anymore! AS OF TODAY I AM GOING TO EAT HEALTHY AND I WILL NOT BINGE!!!!! I am going to eat REAL food, grains, yoghurt, fruit and veg and I will lose this weight the healthy way....I need to change these habits but right now, Im not doing that....so Im about to walk to the local shop, buy the new slimming magazine and stock up on some healthy foods
I actually feel pretty good about it too!
so yeah, wish me luck! You are all my inspirations to do this