It's amazing what throwing social caution to the wind will do. I had been through a patch of being depressed that I didn't have a 'boyfriend' and feeling fat and ugly and unattractive. I went out for a friends going away party one night and for once (for some unknown reason) was feeling good and was not incessantly looking for mr right. Surprise surprise, Mr quite possibly very very right picked that night to show up.
I've learned from that that what you think has very real impacts on what you can achieve. I was so busy assessing every guy I met for mr right-ability that I wouldn't have been a very attractive proposition, regarless of what i looked like. I think the same goes for anything. If you're constantly worried what others think, people can sense that and might take advantage of it by trying to convince you do do what they want. The obvious problem with that is that different people want different things so you get pulled in multiple directions. Also it means you get your desires overlooked.
The way I go about things, I try to always look to make myself happy, but to not hurt others. So I will say "to be a happier, helthier me, I need to do these things X, Y and Z". If someone doesn't like that, I tell them in a polite way that I am doing this for me. if they have a legitimate concern (eg, scared that I'm leaving them, or forcing my lifestyle on them) I will explain to them that it is important to me for reasons A B and C and listen to and try to address their concerns.
By the way, what people want and what they ask for can be diferent things. Eg, a partner may want reassurance that you will not leave them and still find them attractive, but what they ask for is that you don't lose weight becasue they believe that means you want to leave them. Or a person might want to feel better about themselves so they ask (or sabotage to achieve) you to stay fat and eating unhealthily so that they don't feel that they are being surpassed. Twisted, but it makes sense at the time. You have to figure out what they actually WANT and address that.
Obviously some people are just going to try to sabotage you no matter what, so in that instance I usually try to remember the reasons I am doing whatever it is and continue becasue in the end I can only control me (Always being sure that any negative impact i have on others is lessened as far as possible)
Hope that made sense.
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!
"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"
"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"