Juddy, i can identify with your post so much. Its like when I am getting ready for a night out and i will be having am inner tantrum because "nothing looks good", or "i wore that last week" or thats out of fashion now but its the only thing that hides my fat arse" and my boyfriend just cant understand why i am getting upset.
Its becase what we wear, how we present ourselves is not just to feel that we "look nice" its becase our friends will judge us, as a girl I do not dress to be attractive to males - i dress to keep up with my female friends, to be considered "normal" and part of the crowd.
No one wants to be the odd one out and as a person who has had a weight problem most of my life I definately know how it feels to want to look like everyone else.
Its funny though because once you have developed a body image complex it doesnt matter what you look like - in your own eyes you are very rarely able to see yourself as others do.
At my smallest in highschool (i lost about 10 kgs from walking to and from school everyday) the b i t c h y girls who used to call me fat asked me "are you anorexic?" and when i looked in the mirror I still saw a fat person. Even when I look back now at photos I WISH i had of enjoyed being thin instead of dressing as a larger person and thinking i was overweight when i clearly wasnt.
As hard as it is to do you have to take on the positive words of others when they tell you that you look great, or that you dont need to loose anymore weight. Ive seen your photos and you DO look great!
Its great that you want to be the best you can be, there's nothing wrong with having goals. But on the other hand you dont want to look back in years to come and wish you had of enjoyed being young and being comfortable with yourself instead of wasting energy and emotion being forever unsatisfied.
I am struggling right alongside you Juddy to feel comfortable in my own skin, all I can say is you have done an AMAZING job to get to where you are and you should be PROUD of yourself and your body! I WOULD BE!!
just remember - expectations are only worth living up to if they are your own.