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So embarressed !!!

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So embarressed !!!

Postby JL77 » Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:59 pm

Last night, I went to my in laws house for dinner. I usually dont like going there as is, but last night really got me going.

4 months ago I joined ww online but me being me I didnt end up doing it for very long, and my mother in law knew I stopped doing it.

So anyway we are sitting at the table and first of all she said that the meal was low calerie (sp?) and looked directly at me as she said it. Then she said during converstaion that the bread rolls were for all of us, 2 for the males and 1 for the females. The only females there were her and me.
Then she tells us she has dessert and AGAIN looks at me and said, we have ww ice cream, I brought it ESPECAILLY



WTF?????????? I was fuming by this stage but I shut up and didnt say anything, hubby just laughed it off which I wasnt impressed about, but he knows what she is like.

I know I am overweight but I dont think I am what you would call obsese. I am 170cm and weigh 85kg. I was so insulted and so hurt by these comments. I have never been in a situatuion like that before
JEZ

Starting Weight 20/1/08 ~ 86kg
28/1/08 ~ 85kg
2 /2/08 ~ 84.2
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Postby chubbywife79 » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:05 pm

I'm sorry to hear your MIL was being nasty to you. That what my dad was like in Brisbane instead saying how he killed the ducks and turkey!
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Postby JL77 » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:08 pm

ppl can be very harsh hey. Fair enough if she thought I should lose some weight but to be so rude about it wasnt called for.

I suppose in one weigh I should thank her for being so nasty because she wont believe how good I look this time next year (well if I dont fall pregnant ahahha)
JEZ

Starting Weight 20/1/08 ~ 86kg
28/1/08 ~ 85kg
2 /2/08 ~ 84.2
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Postby Fiona25 » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:28 pm

If she thought you were on WW still then no probs, but she knows you're off it, so that was pretty rude.

Does she know you're trying to lose weight? If so, maybe she was helping, if not, she was being rude!
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Postby JL77 » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:35 pm

Fiona25 wrote:If she thought you were on WW still then no probs, but she knows you're off it, so that was pretty rude.

Does she know you're trying to lose weight? If so, maybe she was helping, if not, she was being rude!


I am not sure, but still even for someone trying I think it is pretty harsh :?
JEZ

Starting Weight 20/1/08 ~ 86kg
28/1/08 ~ 85kg
2 /2/08 ~ 84.2
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Postby Misstoodles » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:49 pm

>_< Peoples weight is a very sensitive issue, whether she thought she was helping or not, it's just not one of those things you say or do unless you KNOW it's okay with the person because you're really close or something.
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Postby Fireball » Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:30 pm

I'd be more p*ssed about the"2 for the males and 1 for the females" comment anyway. I hate sexism. I use a lot more kJ than my husband as I am much more active. The problem with putdowns (passive aggressive comments) is that when ppl use them, it is difficult to say anything or it makes you sound like your being b*tchy. Maybe she is trying to be helpful in her own way it can be hard to tell. My daughter's mother-in-law sounds exactly like that. Always making little comments that are put downs, but it is hard to tell if she is trying to be rude or is just so insensitive that she doesn't realise. She did it to me too! She had my daughters baby shower at her house. It was a horrible hot, humid day and their air conditiong made it worse. I ate like 3 chips and she came over and said, "I notice you had some chips." I could have said,"Well I thought it was the right thing to do as noone else was going to eat the your soggy chips". It would have been true but I try to use my manners. :lol: With ppl like her I just tell myself I am sorry for her because, "It can't be very nice living in a head that thinks like that."
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Postby Mummyof3 » Fri Jan 18, 2008 9:50 pm

oh my gosh, that sucks man, :lol: silly lady, dont worry to much about it... i am 170cm and weight 96 or more, we same height I am just alot heavier.. :lol: Hope you feeling better :D
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Postby Czarina » Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:39 pm

I know what it's like. My father told me to stop eating altogether at numerous points during the year - including when I was laid up with a badly broken ankle, so I have had to cut contact with him for a few months so I can try and do things the healthy way, without negative energy. It was very hard as he has been my best friend for a long time...but I have to do what is right for me...
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Postby Juddy » Sat Jan 19, 2008 12:59 am

That sucks, sorry to hear that. I don't know the tone or the way it was said/done - but I hate the opposite more than I do with encouragement - but you said she knew you were off it, that's just slack.

It's true that people like to interfere and always "know what's best" for you... I hated it when people tried to help me lose weight, but then I embraced it... but NOW, I hate people trying to force-feed me.

In the end it comes down to you, and what you want to do.

I've made passive protests by scraping off stuff from my plate.
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Postby yoyogirl88 » Sat Jan 19, 2008 8:50 am

GRRRRRRRR!!!!
20 month old twins and a breastfed bubba. Busy mama!
Starting this time at 99.5
Current weight 97.9
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Postby EvilWombatQueen » Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:45 pm

That's awful. If it's any consolation she was embarrassing herself far more than she was embarrassing you. After all, who came off looking more petty, inconsiderate and stupid?

Next time you go there for dinner take some tic-tacs in a little unlabelled container. When she starts telling you about all the low-cal stuff she's bought especially for you as her if she'd like some b1tch pills that you bought especially for her.
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Postby JL77 » Sat Jan 19, 2008 3:51 pm

EvilWombatQueen wrote:That's awful. If it's any consolation she was embarrassing herself far more than she was embarrassing you. After all, who came off looking more petty, inconsiderate and stupid?

Next time you go there for dinner take some tic-tacs in a little unlabelled container. When she starts telling you about all the low-cal stuff she's bought especially for you as her if she'd like some b1tch pills that you bought especially for her.



hahaha what a great idea. We have to see her tonight so cant wait lol.

Thats so true about shes the one that looks worse off then me. I never really thought of it like that. Thanks :D
JEZ

Starting Weight 20/1/08 ~ 86kg
28/1/08 ~ 85kg
2 /2/08 ~ 84.2
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Postby bferbear » Sat Jan 19, 2008 4:06 pm

If she says anything again tonight just put it back on her and say "It is so good to see that you have decided to lose that extra weight you put on, I was going to say something to you about how big you were looking from behind, but figured it was too rude to mention. It is just a bonus for me that I am trying to shed a few kilos too"

that should shut her up...........or give her a complex.............or start a fight.........in actual fact maybe it might be safer to ignore any advice from the divorced guy about family relationships.
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Postby Chrissie » Sat Jan 19, 2008 7:15 pm

:x I'd just tell her where to go...only joking, however you need to stick up for yourself and tell her that she is offending you, then she'll think twice before she makes smart remarks again.

good luck - if it's any consolation, my MIL can be a pain in the a#* too !
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