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New Young and Had enough all ready

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New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby bjay » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:54 am

Hi my name is Bjay im 17 and i have a baby daughter who is 17 mnths. After she was born i ballooned and got so disgusting and im starting to feel like i should do something about it. My partner is also bigger and says we should eat healthy but when i try to eat the right things and exercise he'd rather not..and will constantly offer me KFC and maccas and sometimes its too much of a temptation. How do i keep going when i dont have his support? Any advice?
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby Jodie91 » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:30 am

Hi Bjay

I am in a similar situation and it can be very hard to keep your will power when you dont have the support of those close to you. I was advised by my then WW leader to talk to my partner and tell him what I wanted to acheive and how much it ment to me ( can't say it worked to well in my case as my hubby is really slim and doesn't understand) however in your case it might work and if you tell him how much you want him to join you on this journey and how much it would mean to you for youto travel this together he may get involved.

Good luck and keep us informed on how things go
Cheers
Jodie
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby bjay » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:43 am

Jodie, Thanks so much for your relpy. Its just so hard for me to try and involve him because most of his family is overweight and they dont seem to want to do anything about it so to him its not a big deal, and if i try to tell him to join me he gets offensive and doesnt just to spite me. I fell like im trying to go forward and he is trying to pull me back. I can understand that if he has been around that environment all his life then it seems normal but i just want to try even for me. its 2 steps forward and 5 back...
Bjay
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby electrongirl » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:43 am

I agree, sit down with him and explain to him how important this is for you.

Coming from someone who has been fighting this battle for about 10 years now, PLEASE, don't give up. You are lucky in the sense that if you get a hold of this now and really do it, you will be thin and healthy for your 20's and so on.

Make him realise you are serious about it and that you need his support.
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby bjay » Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:52 am

How do I though when he is quite happy to tell me to eat right and says i have his full support, but when we talk about dinner he just says well i cant be buggered lets have fish and chips, then cracks it when i say no?? How? :evil:
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby electrongirl » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:07 am

I understand where you are coming from totally!!

What you have to do is be strong and be comitted to your weightloss journey!! You have to learn to say NO! It took me a long time to be assertive.

You have to decide whether you are ready for this, because if your not 100% comitted to this then you will not succeed.

Also with dinner, PLAN meals. Make up dinners you can freeze so on the days when you can't be bothered, just take something out that just needs heating up.

Your partner really needs to take this seriously. You really need to sit down with him and tell him how serious this is.
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby bjay » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:09 am

I know but he is worse than me to stick with something. The problem with that idea is that he cooks and i cant cook so ultimately its up to him what we have.
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby bjay » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:18 am

and now im having a curly wurly because he makes m so mad that i dont even want to bother
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby hysterical_oliver » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:18 am

Right, let him do his own thing. He obviously doesn't want to participate so you need to go it alone. Prepare your own meals in advance or at least plan for them and let him organise his own, if you have prepared for yours it's easier to stick to healthy options. If you give in to him you are losing your own battle and so is he. Maybe you can find a friend to exercise with if he doesn't want to join you but you have to stay string with the food no matter what he says, if he can't see what you are doing and the reasons for it, I don't have nice things to say :( THIS JOURNEY IS FOR YOUR HEALTH
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby hysterical_oliver » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:20 am

STEP AWAY FROM THE CURLY WURLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol why are you letting him put you down? Find your motivation, we can't do it from here :D you only answer to yourself
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby bjay » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:20 am

I dont know if i am strong enough. I feel that we are already so far apart from each other that i dont know if i can not eat with him and not have him with me when i want to do something like this that is so important to me.
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby bjay » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:23 am

i know this is terrible but i cant do my own thing he handles all the money and if i tell him it is money for food he will tell me we already have food and another fight comes along....ARHHHH
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby hysterical_oliver » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:28 am

hmmm...I don't think your only problems are related to dieting Bjay :( It will be tough but you either do it for yourself or you don't do it. Start with something small like 2 litres of water a day then a piece of fruit a day (or similar things) try to make the healthier dinner options. Find out how many calories you need to sustain your body weight and aim a little lower, once you add in exercise the deficit equals your loss :D You don't need to be 100% perfect so even if you eat a little bad if your calories aren't exceeding your output you should be on your way.
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby hysterical_oliver » Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:29 am

Sounds like you guys need to seriously talk about a lot of things.
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Re: New Young and Had enough all ready

Postby electrongirl » Sun Jan 27, 2008 12:00 pm

Going by what you have told us, I don't think your ready to start this.

I am going to be brutally honest here. I hope you don't get offended.

You have asked for advice and we have given it to you, but you have an answer or excuse for everything. This is very strong denial.

You need to really sort out whats going on between you and your partner before you can be ready to make a lifestyle change this big.

If he isn't willing to help you and be supportive of you in this you need to talk to him about it and make him realise that its something that means alot you to and that you must have his full support.

I wish you the best and hope that you take some of our advice.
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