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Helping a friend lose weight

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Helping a friend lose weight

Postby Angel » Sun Apr 09, 2006 8:33 pm

A close friend of mine dearly wants to lose weight but then doesn't do anything to make it happen. I'm starting to believe that she thinks whinging about it makes it happen (if only!).

But seriously, I've suggested keeping a food diary, being her weightloss buddy, her walking for 1/2 hr a day, reducing the amount of chocolate she eats, all sorts of things but so far as I can see while she's enthusiastic about it when I say it, its going in one ear and out the other.

Yesterday I got fed up with the whinging and told her to ask herself how much she really wants to lose weight and what she is prepared to do to make it happened because unless she makes changes to her current eating plan, it ain't going to happen.

So my last ditch effort to help, I've suggested she keep a food diary for the next few weeks, writing every drink and food she consumes and said I'd go through it with her and see if or where she can improve, you know, make suggestions. She seems really enthusiastic but for how long??

Don't get me wrong I'm always happy to help but if it falls on deaf ears what's the point!

How does everyone else deal with these situations?
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Postby Groovychic » Mon Apr 10, 2006 10:01 am

HHHMMM sounds a tad like me but I don't tend to whinge about it so much. I sort of accept my weight to a certain extent but do try at least with the amount of exercise I do! And my eating has changed a tad.......mind you all those easter eggs in the shops are soooooooooo tempting! You have go to remember Angel that she probably won't write everything in her food diary. Unless they are fully committed to losing weight they will try to fool themselves. I did that for years, fooling myself! I kept my food diary for a month and I know what I am doing wrong but I haven't really changed all that much. I have a terrible sweet tooth and it is my biggest downfall....no will power when it comes to naughty things! At least you can say to yourself that you have given her as much advice as you can so it is up to her if she accepts it and uses it to her advantage. If not, and she keeps whinging at you, tell her she can talk to you about whatever she likes but not her weight anymore!
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:37 pm

I have a friend who does exactly that, although she doesn't ask for advice. I take the line that unless she asks for advice, I'm not going to give it because I hate it when people say "oh, are you trying to lose weight, I just heard the latest diet X is really good".

If she ever does ask me, "why can't I lose weight" I'll ask her "do you want me to answer truthfully, or do you want me to be a sympathetic ear?" I'm a bit of a blunt personality, but I think sometimes people THINK they want to lose weight, when they actually aren't ready to. I know I was like that for ages. Once they get to that lightbulb point, all that information will actually make sense.

So for me, I try to get out of them whether they just want to whinge, in which case, go ahead, make my day, aren't you such a poor old soul. But If they are actually asking for help I give it, they can take it and if not and they keep coming back with the same problem having ignored my advice, I say "well I've told you what I thought about that already, maybe you should ask someone elese for advice"

sorry for being long winded
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15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

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Postby losebabyfat_2005 » Tue Apr 11, 2006 5:41 am

I want to help my mum lose weight, she has been goin the gym for about 4 or 5 years now and has gotten smaller but not as much as she wants to lose.

The only thing is that I feel too shy to offer heaps of advice as I've lost the weight I want to lose and feel like it would be like rubbing it in her face.

Any tips?
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Postby Dolly » Tue Apr 11, 2006 7:42 am

Perhaps you can tell them about my friends diet.

A friend of mine in America has recently joined OA (Overeaters Anonymous)
OA doesn't really have a set food plan to follow, my friend has been losing
weight by just cutting out two things, foods that contain cane sugar in them
and foods with white flour in them.
So the diet is mainly protein, fresh fruits and veggies etc.

She is for the first time losing weight fast (around 2-3 pounds per week)
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Postby losebabyfat_2005 » Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:08 am

thanks i'll see what I can do, hopefully it will work for her
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Postby Angel » Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:45 am

Hey Tegan,

Yeh, I was pretty honest with her the other day, I think she knew I was getting a little fed up. I think after the 2 weeks are up, if she hasn't done the food diary for whatever reason (unless of course its a damn good excuse), I'm going to tell her not to discuss weight loss with me again.

I'm the type of person that if you've got a problem, you do something about it, if you don't do anything to solve it then you don't have the right to whinge about it - perhaps a little harsh but I'm not big on whinging - complete waste of time.

Tanya,
I find its best to wait until someone asks for help, they're more likely to take on board the advice then (except for my present situtation). If you are discussing losing weight with your Mum, perhaps in the general conversation you can throw in - I know such and such really helped me shed the kilos - you know, give her a little food for thought so to speak.
Good luck,
Angel
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