I dont want to get under anyones skin here, but I just wanted to let you all know how I have been feeling. And yes its all my fault and I seriously know that. Sometimes I feel that only 1 person is supporting me on this forum. I am not going to name names but i think she would know who she is. I dont blame many people for following my progress because I can be very slack in replying to posts, but trust me I am following you all and I cant expect you all to follow and post in mine if I am not in yours.
Maybe that happens when your kind of new and you are trying to become part of the forum.
I have found this weight loss journey extremly hard, and not enjoyable at all. I have started and failed like 1000 times and it really gets me down. People say that if you want it bad enough then you will work for it, but my personalitly gives up extremly easy and if i mess up then I give up totally. Plus I dont like excerising much, thats why I have started a new excerise plan where I am going to try and do something active every weekend and walk during the week. But to be honest i live in a area which is close to a very bad area so I dont like walking alone, so I am going to get my hubby to come with me on most days. If i dont walk then i will do something like a circut at home or something else which will help my weight loss. I got bored of excerise because it became like an obession with me a few years ago and it became a routine that i got really upset if I didnt do it. thats what made me stop enjoying it.
Liek i said in my daily journal I have started a new plan of excerise and diet and I am really ready for it this time. Yes I have said it before but each day I am getting fatter and fatter and I dont like it. Before I used to think I was just a little over weight but now I see myself as quiet large and its getting me down. I hate going out in public when its hot and I have to wear a jumper because I dont have any self confidence, I hate the fact that I can wear jeans and a singlet, I hate the fact that hubby loves the beach but I refuse to go and most of all I hate the fact that when i sit down I have a roll of fat that just hangs out and that is so depressing.
I suppose I just wanted to take this time out to say sorry to you all, it must have been very frustrating to have someone on here which was not taking it all serioulsy and was not following through with her thoughts and efforts put into that. I promise I have changed. (After my caht with hubby last nigth it really opened my eyes) I am going to be strong and think positive about my life. Things are not as bad as i make them out to be. We live once and i shouldnt stress so much about life. If I stuff up then too bad, I will just continue my day as if I was on a diet and I need to think about the fanatic holiday I will have in qld next year if I get down to 70kilos.
And now I have my new pc i will spend more time on here and post away, so you cant get rid of me lol
Just wanted to let you all know that......
Sorry if this was a waste of time. Just needed to get it all out.