Off topic but I have had it, and it shows

[sunshine]

Sorry this is off the topic of weight loss, but it's all connected and as a member of this great forum, please allow me room to wander a bit. So I have been going great with my weight loss, diet and exercise, trying to forget that we are trying for another baby with no luck (2 yrs trying with 4 miscarriages) I have had it, I am sick of each month not getting pregnant, I am nearly 41 (so I am a bit of an old duck, no offence to other old ducks ) but we were really hoping to add just one more baby to our family of 3 kids.

Drs say its just a combination of age and bad luck, since we conceived our others really easily. So my obsession with a new baby has been replaced by my obsession with fitness, and thats a good thing. But I am again getting a bit depressed and down because I really don't think we are meant to have another baby, and that devastates me. Please don't say, be happy with what you have, as I have heard that before and believe me I am so lucky to have my family, but I hate feeling every month that we are failing.

All the baby items around just makes it worse, but I can't bare to part with them yet. I want to move forward but I am scared to let the dream go. So my rather long point is that, I just found out I am not pg again, and my weight loss is suffering. I haven't been to the gym for about a month (I went away, gym membership ran out, been sick blah blah blah), I had a month off alcohol, hoping that would make a difference, which obviously it didn't, now I am back having my wine, my bread and my cranky thoughts about poor old me.

How do I get out of this limbo I feel I am in? I know I will get back to the gym next week, because I love it, I don't want to ruin all my hard work. I hate the way I think, I wish I could just "get over it" "move on" etc but I am such a sentimentalist. I fear that I can slip back into my bad diet, etc habits if I am not careful. I just wish I could be happy. Thanks for listening.

[holly80]

I am sorry to hear this sunshine. The first thing that came to my mind is I was told by numerous people that when trying for a baby your not suppose to be doing a new excerise program etc... I dont know what the reasons are behind this, but thought maybe its something you could look into.

I dont really know what to say as I have not tried for a baby yet.

I hope it happens soon for u...

[madbonnie]

I was lucky to have two children, one when I was almost 38 and another at 39, after almost giving up due to miscarriages which the doctor said there was no medical reason for, just my age.

The advice he gave me was to 'take it as is comes', basically take the pressure off and it will happen. It's true - the harder you try the longer it takes. He also told me that the next time I suspected I was pregnant that I was to take half an asprin to help thin the blood. It had something to do with the 'baby' attaching itself properly and getting the blood flow/nutrients from me. Anyway it worked. I had to take the half asprin right up until a week before both babies were due. Naturally you have to stop before the baby is born in case you have to have an op and they can't stop the bleeding because your blood has been thinned.

Another thing, from this old duck (49) to you is that you might want to get your hormones checked because, dare I say it, you may be peri-menopausal (sorry).

Anyway, from memory, with exercise you have to be careful that you don't over heat your core as it will have an affect on the baby. In the early stages it's OK, I think, but once you know you are pregnant just ease up a little.

I know it will be hard but try and focus on other things in your life and I'm sure that baby will come along.