Help me hubby, pleeease!

[losebabyfat_2005]

Thank you all very much for all your advice and support. It has taken a while to realise what my husband is really like but I have talked to him and he hasn't even asked for censored since. He's been quite nice to me and starting to treat me right and the way he used to pretty much all the time. Our relationship has been rocky for a while because he's been unemployed for 9 1/2 months and we've been together nearly 3 years (3 years on june 12th) and I'm realising what he needs to do to change because I' m rebuilding my self-esteem and learning to be a better housewife (why shouldn't he chnge if I'm chnging myself for the better).

I've talked to my mum about what I told you all and she is also very supportive and has some of the same advice as you have.

One thing that doesn't help is I fell out with his mum nearly a month ago and haven't seen her since, just polite chat on the phone. And he knows I don't like her now, she's bossy, domineering and treats me like I'm still 13 and she's my Mum. The only person in his family that I like is one of his nana's who used to be our landlord. She treats me with respect, she listens to me without giving heaps of overbearing opinion and did I mention she actually LISTENS to me instead of bulldozing over me.

Sorry for ranting I just had to tell somebody.

[Groovychic]

We are here to listen to you Tanya. This site is not just about weight loss, but about listening to other people. Sometimes just typing what you are feeling makes you understand yourself so much better. Give your partner time to change. You will find that he will change over the time. Well most of them do anyway. But you can't force that change. Being unemployed is most likely very very hard for him to accept. He's not bringing home the bacon so to speak so he probably feels he can't support his family. For a man that is very hard to take. If you can go and get some sort of councilling then it would be a great idea. He may not accept it tho, so you will need to be prepared for that. I do hope things work out for you. I'm glad your mother is supportive. That is very important. And don't worry about his family too much. Just do things with your own family and try to stay away from his. Be polite and show them some respect but don't put yourself in the position for them to put you down, if you can help it. You are a good person Tanya, and don't let them make you think otherwise. Look at what you have accomplished with your weight loss and having a beautiful child. You can do anything you put your mind to. It's important that you have a good self-esteem. You want to bring your child up to have a good self-esteem as well. It's so important to be happy and confident. As you get older you will see how you can avoid situations that put you on edge. It's all about learning the hard way, unfortunately. Be strong and confident about yourself. And remember to smile and that there is always someone in a worse predicament than yourself somewhere in the world.

[Dolly]

I'm so glad your husband is being nice to you again, you are very precious to us.
Not many people get chummy with their mother-in-laws (mine likes to chat about me behind my back, I just pretend that we are chummy) anyway that must be another strain for your husband, seeing and hearing you not get along with his mum (even though the things you say about her are true) plus not having a job at the moment, I hope all works out for him in finding a job he can enjoy.

love
Dolly

[losebabyfat_2005]

Thanks for your kind and supportive words Groovychic and Dolly, I really feel like I've made some great friends on this site - even though we can't see each others faces we're all the best of friends You both made me smile.

I think my husband is changing, I'm trying not to be such a jealous wife ( I was keeping him on a pretty tight leash!) I've said he can go out with his friends in the weekend if he lets me do the same (we could take turns) The only thing is having money to spend when we go out. I've recently met up with 2 women that I used to go to school with and I'm starting to get chummy with them so I guess my life is pretty good at the moment because I'm thinking more positive and changing my attitude to certain things and it's the best thing I could do for myself.

~HUGS~

Tanya