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excessive binging and lax abuse

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excessive binging and lax abuse

Postby zippy123 » Tue Jun 10, 2008 11:49 pm

i have serious issues with weight.
im 22, 178cm and generally around 73 kilos. i know thats not fat but i feel like i am.
i have been watching my weight since i was about 15 and have basically been on a diet ever since then. food is always on my mind. at 16 i went from 76 to 58 but then back up. at 20 i went from 73 to 68 but again back up.
but over the last year things ahve become worse. i have had stages where ive been healthy and then all i go on massive binges. they can last a few days and its like i cant stop eating and eat whatever junk i can find until i feel sick. i feel as though ive eaten badly so i might as well continue doing it for the day and then start fresh tomorrow. this doesnt always happen though and i can have a few shocking days like this in a row. during these times over the last year though i have started abusing laxatives. i know its bad but i cant stop it. i take heaps at night and apart from having a shocking night the next day i am still sick. ive read bout the problems and risks with this but i still do it.
i just want to get over this. i want to weigh 66 kilos and then i think i will be happy.
does anyone else have issues like this? has anyone gone through this and is better now? i think i really need help with it.
sorry to babble
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Re: excessive binging and lax abuse

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:00 am

I agree. You really need help with this. And you probably shouldn't be looking to a weight loss forum to find it.

Please, please talk to your GP about what you are doing. He or she will refer you to a psychologist or someone else qualified to treat eating disorders. You know that you are doing damage to your body with what you are doing. The fact that you continue to do it shows you need some outside help to get you through this.

My advice is to forget about weight loss for the time being. You need to get healthy first and trying to get to 66kg while dealing with these issues will only perpetuate the problem. I know it's easy to suggest forgetting about weight loss and it's probably advice that is impossible for you to follow in your current condition. That's why you should talk to a professional about this.

I hope you get the treatment you need to get better soon,
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Re: excessive binging and lax abuse

Postby SarahC » Thu Jun 12, 2008 8:29 am

Definitely check out the psychologist, it can't hurt. I have been to one and it was a waste of time as she just focused on the symptoms (ie, the eating) and really didn't help me much with the underlying problems (ie, I'm not satisfied with my life!). I think you have to sort out the reasons behind the eating and why you are doing it or else it will just keep happening. You might reach 66 kilos but if the same emotional problems are still there you could start to binge again. Well, that's what happens to me anyway, I get to my goal weight, but then I just start eating again :(

Take care, and hope you are able to get things sorted :)
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Re: excessive binging and lax abuse

Postby EllPatt » Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:32 am

Good luck with everything zippy....have to say that I agree with the other two posters, having read your message.

We're all behind you.
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Re: excessive binging and lax abuse

Postby Athena » Thu Jun 19, 2008 11:16 am

I agree with the others. You can't expect to lose weight until you deal with the bindging, it will just leave you feeling horrible and frustrated.
It's times like these you learn to live again
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Re: excessive binging and lax abuse

Postby Hurricane Katrina » Fri Jun 20, 2008 12:23 am

It sounds to me as though you have an ating disorder. All the things you've mentioned are all the things that i used to do when i was Bulimic. I had to be hospitalized 2 years ago because my binging and vomitting were getting out of control. U definitely need to see a psychologist/psychiatrist because you need help. I dont think that a weighloss forum such as this is going to be beneficial to u as it will not deal with the underlying issues that plague you. Even if yo do get down to the magical 66kg's, nothing in your pysche will have been altered.

I'm not trying to be mean, everything i've said is based on personal experience. I hope you do consider going to see a psychologist for the treatment that u need.

Good luck ;-)

Starting weight: 70kg
1st mini-goal: 66kg (2009-06-08)
2nd mini-goal: 62kg
3rd mini-goal: 58kg
Goal weight: 54kg
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Re: excessive binging and lax abuse

Postby sparkee » Fri Jun 20, 2008 5:50 pm

I myself went through laxative abuse and it is terrible. It used to binge as well and think that taking laxatives was the best way to get rid of the food that I had eaten. I like you thought there was a perfect weight and nothing was going to stop me getting there. It was all in my head. I weighed 85kg about 12 years ago but then started going to the gym and getting paranoid about my weight. I got down to what I thought would be my perfect weigh - 60kg - and thought I would be so much happier but I'm not. I am happy to some degree with my achievement but I never like what I see in the mirror and it's all in my head. I really think you do need help, this isn't something I went through alone and I still have trouble with it to this very today but I no longer take laxatives, try to exercise for enjoyment and try to stop focusing on the negativity in my head (which believe me is the hardest part!) Good luck and if you need someone to talk to you know where I am.
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Re: excessive binging and lax abuse

Postby stephyg » Fri Jul 11, 2008 1:36 pm

Hi Zippy.
It definitely sounds like you need some help. Congratulations for sharing your issue on the forum. That's a BIG step forward. If you don't feel comfortable going to a clinic etc, I would suggest that you share your problem with your family, partner or close friends. At the moment it sounds like it's a big secret and that is probably making it worse. I agree with all of the other posts. You can make the change. Just don't be afraid to take help and strength from other people.
Hope this helps!
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Re: excessive binging and lax abuse

Postby yellowroses » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:25 pm

Hey Zippy - welcome for starters!!

I totally know what you mean - I've been bulimic since I was about 13 - I'm now 19, and I've been obsessed with my weight since I was about 9.

I don't throw up very often any more, but I still consider myself bulimic and having an eating disorder because food is the constant thought in my head. I feel self concious all the time especially in public. I've used laxatives a lot in the past, and used them a lot when I was about 15 - it resulted in a bowel disorder that is incurable and I will have to live with it for the rest of my life, and it has rendered me basically useless for many jobs and many things in life.

I know it's difficult to 'forget' about dieting and weight loss. I don't think I ever will stop, but I'm attempting to put it all into perspective.

I've been to see a lot of psychiatrists and counsellors about it, and I'm still searching for a good one who can help me properly.

I suggest that you attempt to find out everything you possibly can about what you can eat to be healthy - I've been doing that recently, and I'm finding that it's helping ease the constant nagging of "This is bad, I need to punish myself" in my head. One of the things in particular that's helping is the 12345+ CSIRO diet thing, that relies on the old school food pyramid.

I think the root of any eating disorder is that magazines used to say stuff like "These foods are bad." and "These foods are good", and the childhood thing of if you do anything bad, you have to be punished, and if you do anything good you get rewarded. So if you eat a "bad" food, you punish yourself by using laxatives, or starving yourself or something, and if you eat "good" foods, just once, or for a few days, months watever, you think "I deserve a reward", and then eat the entire contents of the fridge, which then leaves you feeling bad and so on and so forth - it's one big continuous cycle of self abuse. The way to get out of it, and stop the cycle is to just see food as food - nothing is good, nothing is bad - but all must be appreciated in moderation, and eaten slowly to enjoy the tastes and colours. It's really hard to do, and I really understand that - I myself haven't even gotten it downpat yet, but the thing is, I'm trying and so are you - and in the end, that's all that matters - that you're trying to break the pattern.

Sweetheart, I wish you all the best with this, and please don't stop posting. The girls and guys on here have a wealth of information and will always be around to listen and lend advice or an ear.
Goal for 2010: Be at most 99.9kg by 31st December 2010

Final Goal: 68kgs.

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Re: excessive binging and lax abuse

Postby Searching501 » Fri Jul 11, 2008 11:55 pm

hmm, i agree with what some of the other posters have said, you do have an eating disorder and you really should try to seek some help, even if it just talking with a counselor to try ad get some of these feelings out.

I do understand how you feel though, i dealt with bulimia for 3 years and in that time abused laxatives and vomited. Honestly, the laxatives can and will do a lot of damage. I am lucky in that the laxatives didn't screw up my digestion completely, but they did to some degree, as did the vomiting. I am on constant medication for gastric reflux and suffer from bloating, gas and wind every time i eat. Sometimes it's so painful it leaves me in tears. I am sure this is from the laxative abuse. I have read stories about people who years later rely on them just to be able to go to the toilet properly. Just be careful, talk to a doctor, get medical care. Apart from what it does to your body in the long run, it really messes up your fluids and electrolytes in the mean time. But i know how you feel, i know the sense of 'emptiness' you feel after taking them, like it's undone all the damage.

You asked if anyone has been through this and gotten over it. Yes, in the fact that i've been recovered from bulimia for 3 1/2 years and i am proud of that. But i am still struggling with food, and weight issues and i wonder if i will ever have a normal relationship with food, i really hope it's possible one day. I haven't taken a laxative in 3 years, but do struggle with a relapse of vomiting maybe once every 3-6 months... It's hard.

Anyway, just wanted to lend a 'i know how you feel' at the same time as trying to warn you about the dangers lax can cause. I know it's not easy, but do try and speak to your doc and maybe see if you can organize to see a counsellor or psychologist for a while, it does help.

Good luck :)
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