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Im so Upset - I just got a bad comment

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Im so Upset - I just got a bad comment

Postby Jenni » Fri Jun 09, 2006 1:51 pm

Okay, here goes...

Background:
Im in the military, Air Force specifically, and we wear the "green" uniform on Fridays - you know the "cams"? Also, we have what we call the "chain of command". You must follow orders my those who have a higher rank than yourself. I am the second lowest rank.

Story:
Anyway, I was confonted my a lady in my work area, we'll call her Jane (she is the rank above me). She said to me that she had been ordered by two female sargeants (the rank above her) to tell me that my uniforms were too tight! I was so embarrassed. Ive been upset all morning. These two female sergeants are both fitness fanatics and they're always into me about my level of fitness. I know they've been talking behind my back about it. I dont really know what to do know. I looked at my clothes and they leave about three centimetere around my waist, but my thighs are big so maybe that gives the wrong impression?

I dont know, but I fell awful, ive even got a headache from crying. I went to Jane just 10 minutes ago and said I didnt want to change my uniform and she agreed with me. Its almost like she doesnt even agree with them.

Im so hurt by this. Has anyone else had these sort of comments thrown at them at work or anywhere else?

Jen
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Postby Dolly » Fri Jun 09, 2006 2:30 pm

Hi Jenni, all you can do is let Jane know that you are already working on the problem.

Bully tactics are all over the millitary forces.
My sons friend joined the Army and couldn't quite pass the extreme physical tests they kept demanding and I mean extreme!
He was quite fit and completed them but he was often last and that wasn't good enough for them so he quit. They often screamed at his face to tear bash him to break him down and let him know who's boss.
One of the other guys that started the same time as my sons friend kept getting tear bashed by this officer in charge too but he'd had enough, he felt like such a failure that he went to town at the weekend, got drunk and was found swinging from a tree in the morning, very hard to tell the family.

All you can do is what you're already doing and you will succeed unless of course you have a thyroid gland problem. Get a blood test from the doctor to make sure you are not hypothyroid. The thyroid gland controls the metabolism and can block you from losing weight easily.
If you have become hypothyroid due to lack of iodine, the doctor will give you a daily pill to take that will switch on your metabolism back on again.

Big Hugs
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Postby Hayley » Fri Jun 09, 2006 6:02 pm

Hi Jenni,

Oh my god! How disgusting!! I can't believe that you had to experience something as nasty and cruel as that! I'm so sorry that you had to go through that and I'm so glad that you feel comfortable sharing this with us here at the forum. It is so important to talk about things that get you down like this, so that you're not battling through it alone.

I think it's great that you went to 'Jane' about your uniform. Is there anyone higher than the other 2 censored, that you could discuss this matter with? It does sound like work-place bullying and that is definitely not acceptable.

Like Dolly said, you are dealing with your weight in the right way and it will melt away in time. In the meantime, you need to look after yourself and try not to get too stressed out about their inappropriate and uncalled for comments.

remember that we're here any time of day or night, if you need to talk about this some more.

Take care and stay strong xxx
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Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sat Jun 10, 2006 5:34 pm

Hi Jenni,
I think we've all had the odd insulting comment from people, but it's extra hard to take if it's from a work superior as you'd feel your job is at stake.

I'm sure that it's especially hard for you as it's the army and you'd be trained not to challenge a superior. Perhaps you could approach it by going to 'Jane' with your plan to lose weight. I'm guessing that would show that you are comitted and can plan a strategy to address the problem - it might even help with your job in other ways!

In the mean time, try not to get too down about it, you can always log on here to get some support and motivation!
Cheers,
Tegan
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

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Postby Tas » Mon Jun 12, 2006 7:41 am

Hi Jenni
I am so sorry to read that you are being bullied - there is no other word to describe it. And it is shameful that you are treated this way!
Having said that, I am so pleased that you felt you could come here and share this with us - there is always support here.
If I were you i owuld go back to GI Jane and tell her that you are fully aware of this and you are doing something about it and it would make your life easier if she and the others supported you rather than try and knock you down in flames - weightloss is team wotk, you need the support of the people around you and shame on them if they can't provide that for you. Even more shame on them if they have to bully you too! I do detest bullying!
Keep your head held high, you are working on it and that has to be applauded!

Take care
Maria
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Thank you for all your support!

Postby Jenni » Mon Jun 12, 2006 1:23 pm

WOW! Thanks for everyone's lovely messages. Ive just spent the weekend planning what Im going to do, because I feel like I cant just be silent about this one.

Thismorning I went to our senior manager. I almost cried and I could feel myself going bright red! He is going to talk to the women involved and see if maybe they "jumped the gun" a little. Hopefully this will prompt some form of apology. Although Im upset about having to get my uniforms changed without need, my main issue is the derogitory way in which the issue was dealt. After I wrote my last entry my senior manager (female) rang the uniform store and asked if they can taylor me a special pair of tree trousers! I was so ashamed by that...

Dolly, you said about your son and the physical tests? I hate that test. We do it yearly, and I always struggle. To the point last year where I was almost discharged. They call it "sub-maximal" which means it should be "easy" to do. Believe me, ITS NOT EASY, and tell him that there are many people out there who agree. Its quite funny actually, my face when I finish running is like a tomato! We have to run 2.4 kilometers in 12 minutes (thats a level 12 on the treadmill), do 30 unsupported situps and what they call a flexed arm hang, which is a pullup on a bar, but you have to hold at the top for 30 seconds, then 30 male pushups.

Well, I hope this week turns out to be better than the last, and once again, thanks eveyone for your lovely messages!

Jen
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Postby Dolly » Mon Jun 12, 2006 2:10 pm

Jenni, I'm so glad you managed to voice your opinion to the people in charge. My sons friend Scott said the treatment of running kilometres with a backpack full of rocks in record time was cruel, the person that came last had to do it again and better his time otherwise he'd have to do it again.
The only good thing they did do was feed them well.
It's amazing how nice they make the TV commercial about joining the forces.
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Postby Jenni » Mon Jun 12, 2006 4:36 pm

Yeh I know! They show the fun part, jumping out of helecopters etc etc. But they dont show how you get there! 12 weeks running in Wagga. And I mean literally, you dont get to walk. Once I put my weapon (gun) down because they were making us dig holes to sleep in (they had to be 1/2 mtr's deep) and I got in so much trouble. I had my weapon tied to my wrist with cord for the rest of our exercise. Then we ran 9km with pack, webbing and weapons back to tent city. By the time we got back I had blisters that resembled golf balls on my heals! I have so many stories about the forces.

To be honest, I wouldn't do anything different. Its like a love hate relationship. Fortunately ive done all the hard yards and now I just get to work in an office like a normal person who turns green every now and then!
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Postby KimE » Mon Jun 12, 2006 5:09 pm

What has happened to you is dreadful and I hope you voicing your feelings helps resolve the situation. Losing weight is a hard enough task without that sort of crap.

I'm glad you could share that here and get the kind of support you need. Sometimes just getting things off your chest can help.

With the yearly physical do you get told when it is going to happen or do they spring it on you? If you know could you prepare and train for it ahead of time?

Best of luck.
Kim - To thine own self be true
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Postby Jenni » Mon Jun 12, 2006 5:23 pm

Hi Kim,

Each month we have one working weekend and thats when we do the fitness test. My body doesn't get fit and maintain easily. At the moment I run 3km a day and I usually do a 1hr cycling class or some sort of strength class. But if I dont do this for a week I will go back to square 1 and it is soooo hard to get back up there. Sometimes I feel so unusual because the people I work with dont go to the gym EVER and they eat crap and yet they just get up there once a year and pass! Its sort of like those people with fast metabolisms. I was talking to a work mate today and she has NEVER tried to lose weight! Can you believe that! She was telling me that she weighs 55kg and is happy like that - I felt like saying "yer I'de be pretty happy with that too!" hehe
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Postby KimE » Mon Jun 12, 2006 5:52 pm

:lol: Yeah if I was already 55 kg I wouldnt be trying to lose weight either!! Mind you when I do get to 55kg I don't think I will be able to eat crap and stop exercising.
Kim - To thine own self be true
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Postby SarahC » Fri Jul 14, 2006 10:00 pm

Hi Jenni,

I used to be a Sublieutenant in the Navy. I have heard stories similar to what you have experienced.

Usually it is the males that notice when a female's uniform is becoming too tight. They do not want to approach the female themselves, so they get another female to do it for them.

Any bets that the female that approached you was under orders from a male superior. And I would further bet that she felt just as bad about it as you!

Bottom line... military sucks! People can get away with so much more than they can in real life. It's a whole different world, with a whole different set of values. Imagine that kind of thing happening in civvy street.... it never would!

Keep your chin up :D

Sarah.
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