It is currently Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:15 am

Free Newsletter

Highly Emotional

Anything and everything concerning weight loss.

Moderator: Moderators

Highly Emotional

Postby mandymoo » Wed Jul 05, 2006 8:04 pm

Another rant.

So, today I went for a 40 min walk and then because I ate chinese today (the boss bought everyone lunch - I know, I know I could have said no!) I decided to go to a gym class. This class is called 'Fitness' and involves weights, dumbells and aerobics. There are several old men in this class... And they can all follow perefectly.

But there I am, huffin and puffing away, toning down most of the exercises... I felt like the biggest idiot. I'm watching myself in the mirror, watching my boobs and belly and thighs bouncing away and I just felt sick. I felt like I didn't belong there and everyone was watching me and I felt like a moron.

I left the class and burst into tears... (which I often do at the end of a class). I feel so emotional. I keep crying. When will it be easier? When will I feel like I belong in a class? Oh, here I go again... I just don't know what to do. I should be proud of how far I've come but I'm not but it's just so hard. When will exercise be easier for me? ARGHHHH. I'm tired of being so embarrassed. I am just so sick of it.

End Rant.
Image
User avatar
mandymoo
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 11:29 pm
Location: Sydney

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Wed Jul 05, 2006 8:24 pm

Hi Mandy, I hear where you're coming from, it used to be the same for me. The short answer to your question (when will it be easier) is: when you can look in the mirror and love YOU regardless of what your body looks like and realise that even if the people are looking at you and thinking bad things (which 99% of the time they aren't) then that's no reflection on your self worth, only on THEIRS!!!!!

I know it sounds like a pat answer, and your next question will be "but how can I do that when I look like this" and that's a very very very good question, but one that only you can answer.

Maybe you need to sit down and work out all the negative self talk that happens (eg, I suck at exercise, everybody must think I look stupid) and then challenge it with evidence to the contrary or that challenges your assumptions (eg, I don't suck at exercise, I get out when I plan to and do it regardless of how hard it is and how sad I get sometimes, Nobody has ever said to me, 'you are not welcome in this gym' and it is entirely possible these geriatric old men are staring at me because they haven't seen a pair of titties above the floor in 30 years and if they didn't need viagra, would probably be quite embarrassed right now). Write them down if you have to so you can refer to them later.

It is VERY difficult to change thought patterns and behaviour. You may need to get some help to do so - I didn't realise that I had so much self talk until I went to see a counsellor at uni and I was a 3rd year psych student!!!

It may also help to recruit a volunteer friend to go with you or befriend someone there so that you feel a little more attached to the group. Maybe speak with the instructor about it (if they aren;t one of those militant style scary ones) or another instructor you like and they might be able to link you up with someone who they know is a friendly, bubbly, chatterbox who can take you under their wing.

In the mean time, *hugs* and in the cheesy words of my pilates video instructor:

"you're doing great!" "you did something GOOD for you today!"
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas

Postby mandymoo » Wed Jul 05, 2006 8:41 pm

Awwww.... :lol:

That just made me laugh... then cry... then laugh again!

Thank you so much. Just thank you for taking the time to reply. It means so much.

I really DO need to sort out this negativity thing. The problem is is that I'm just so IMPATIENT and if I do not see results IMMEDIATELY I start to freak. Really freak out. I'm a damn nut! I'm driving everyone around me absoloutley crazy (especially my lovely dear supportive man)! SIGH...

I just need to take a deep breath and keep on trying.

I will have a buddy soon. When my super-fit-ex-personal-trainer friend moves closer to me she is going to help me. I can't wait. She is such a great friend too.

Just need to keep reminding myself - baby steps, baby steps.
Image
User avatar
mandymoo
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 11:29 pm
Location: Sydney

Postby KimE » Thu Jul 06, 2006 7:28 pm

Yeah, gyms can be somewhat daunting. I originally set my gym membership as a reward for when I lost 20kgs and the reason for that was I just didn't think I would be comfortable going into a gym at the weight I was at. By the time I had lost 10kgs I had already been exercising regularly by walking for close to 2 months and thought what the heck I would join as a reward for getting to 10kgs instead. Even now I get the occasional thoughts like geez my tummy is big in these gym pants or I must be the fattest person in here, followed almost immediately by well at least I am here, working out, doing something about it. And that is really something. So good on you for getting out and doing something that helps towards your goal and is fantastic for your health.
Kim - To thine own self be true
Image
Maintainence since 04/11/06
Preferred Weight - Under 60 kgs
Current Weight - 64.8 kgs
Start Weight - 85 kgs
User avatar
KimE
 
Posts: 4825
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 7:42 pm
Location: Melbourne

Postby Butterfly_Dawn » Sat Jul 08, 2006 5:50 pm

Isn't it weird that we think those kinds of thoughts??? It's a GYM it is for people to get FIT....ergo, it is THE perfect place for people who need to lose some kgs. I think it's much more appropriate that an overweight person be seen in a gym than a perfectly proportioned super fit athlete as it is the overweight person who generally needs the advice and support.
It's like when you go to the beautician's for a leg wax and worry about what they think of your hairy legs. :shock: :?
35kg lost. (November 2005 - October 2006)
15kg gained again (as at October 2010).
Back to the drawing board - Let's do this thing!

"You can't change the winds, but you can change the sails"

"Reach out and take control of what lands in your lap"

User avatar
Butterfly_Dawn
 
Posts: 4151
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 pm
Location: Hobart, Tas


Return to Weight loss Talk

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 2 guests

cron