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A very sad state of mind

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A very sad state of mind

Postby mr happy » Sat Aug 01, 2009 6:38 am

Ive just been reading through quite a lot of this site, and the more i read, the sadder i see the thought patterns of many people, in particular ladies.
Comments like " Me looking yuk at 86kg" or "i cant wait to be beautiful" at the start of a diet, are just a couple of the sad comments i have read.
Ive also noticed that there doesnt seem to be a whole lot of men on this forum, the few of us that are here are waaaaay outnumbered by women. This is obvious by the boys club section of the forum that hasnt been contributed to in almost 3 months. So i thought i would take it upon myself to set some of you women straight in regards to being overweight.

Overweight women are not Yuk, and not all slim women are beautiful either. Being size12 alone doesnt make a person beautiful!!
True beauty comes from the inside...deep deep down, well beyond your body shape and the colour of your skin, or the glasses you wear, or the style of shoes you wear etc...
Many misunderstangs are born, when shallow, narrow minded men single out the skinny women, leaving the overweight women to feel "yuk" or "un-beautiful".
Some men are like this, they are shallow, just like some women are also very shallow for the same, or similiar reasons. If you ask me, a mans exceptance is only skin deep if he is willing to only date a girl based on her shape.
As an overweight man myself, i simply would not have anybody in my circle of friends that couldnt except my body size or shape. I dont want friends that are that shallow. I have quite a few friends, and i chose them carefully. None of my friends would ever chose a partner based on size because i wouldnt befriend anybody like that.
My old girlfriend from a few years back was 114kg, and too embarassed to even take her shirt off infront of me, which i thought was very sad. Her ex-husband had nitpicked her about her weight for the 9 or 10 years they were together making her paranoid. Sadly she will probably be sensitive about her weight for the rest of her life now.
My wife is about a size 18 and i love her to death. We take photos together, go hunting and fishing together....and even fight together like most married couples. I would like to see her lose a bit of weight after our second child is born later this month for health reasons, and health reasons only. Certainly not because she is "not beautiful" or "yuk".
I think people who have lost weight, and then refer to there old bodies as "back when i was yukky" sets the pace for a low self esteem for all of the people that are still that size or bigger.
Its time everybody, girls in particular stopped thinking of themselves as yuk.
A yukky person is the idiots i saw on the news last night that smashed a heap of headstones at a local cemetary. I dont know whether they were overweight or not, but they are certainly yuk.
Or the local school teacher that has just been charged with having thousands of child pornograpy photos on his computer. THATS YUK!!!!!
So come on girls, its excellent that you are wanting to lose weight, for all number of reasons, from self esteem, presentation to living a healthier lyfestyle and everything in between.....but in the meantime, you are certainly not bad people for being overweight...NOOOOOO way!!! If you are beautiful when you thin down, then you must of been beautiful before. :wink:
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Re: A very sad state of mind

Postby soniad » Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:53 am

What a fantastic post!

Thanks you mrhappy, you make a lot of great points in this post, and often being overweight is a symptom of low self esteem and not necessarily the cause.

It is refreshing to have a male perspective on the subject and especially one this inspirational and thought-provoking.

regards

Sonia
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Re: A very sad state of mind

Postby mr happy » Sun Aug 02, 2009 5:47 am

No worries Soniad. Its something i feel quite strongly about. People have this great misconception that big is ugly and skinny is beautiful and it just isnt true.
Sadly these beliefs are often started by narrow minded men, and there are quite a few of them unfortunately. Beauty magazines are another shocking thing for this. Infact the whole model industry should be ashamed of themselves for the thought patterns they have created.
Obesity and being over weight is a health burden, theres no denying it, but it certainly is totally unrelated to a persons kindness, thougtfullness or beauty.
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Re: A very sad state of mind

Postby Shalimar » Sun Aug 02, 2009 11:02 am

Fantastic post mrhappy, well said :D .
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Re: A very sad state of mind

Postby glam1 » Sun Aug 02, 2009 11:29 am

Thank you - Mr Happy :D
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Re: A very sad state of mind

Postby Miss Jo » Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:25 pm

Well said MrHappy! Glad to have you around the forums! :D
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Re: A very sad state of mind

Postby wannabeslim » Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:31 pm

well it certinatley is nice for a man to say that for a change!
ive realised that since i started accepting myself for who i am i only want to loose weight because i feel confident from exercise and eating well and earning my banging bod! ( :D )
i just want to feel more confident in my skin, more free and less judgemental on myself. i only judge myself cause i know i was too lazy to be healthy, not cause im "gonna be a fat person for life"
2010 goal: get to 56-8kg and keep fit & healthy!

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Re: A very sad state of mind

Postby EvilWombatQueen » Sat Aug 08, 2009 12:15 pm

Really beautiful post, Mr Happy. Well said!
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Re: A very sad state of mind

Postby mr happy » Sun Aug 09, 2009 2:58 pm

Thanks everyone. I reckon more people think along similiar lines than most people would think.
There are some completely narrow minded people around, but thankfully most are more than skin deep.
Theres an old saying that true beauty is on the inside...aint that the truth. Anybody that doesnt beleive that is sick. :wink:
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Re: A very sad state of mind

Postby Princess_Lissa » Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:11 pm

Hi Mr Happy!
mr happy wrote: There are some completely narrow minded people around, but thankfully most are more than skin deep.

There are lots, actually. And I guess that's the reason why you are seeing tons of those sad comments. I'd like to think that I am happy with the way I look (and not to feel yuckie about my weight) because I know that I have a good heart, but there will always be times when I get wistful about having the body (and beauty) that majority of the society will approve of.

It's often easy to say that it doesn't matter what others think, but it really does (oh no, why are tears welling up my eyes?). I just wish there were more men who think of us the way you do.
"If you can dream it, you can do it!" -W. Disney
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Re: A very sad state of mind

Postby Freddy » Sun Aug 09, 2009 10:52 pm

Mr Happy, you are so right. Women with a bit extra aren't yuk by definition. I know many women that have some extra weight, yet are beautiful, some even gorgeous. Weight is not necessarily one of the defining characteristics of beauty.
I can take that statement even further by saying this: One of my female friends weighs nearly 160kg's. However, she is one of the most attractive girls I have ever seen. Somehow, she just oozes that she is one of the sweetest girls ever, which makes her beautiful.
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Re: A very sad state of mind

Postby Carley » Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:27 am

What an amazing post thank you for posting this.

This coming from a lady recovered from bulimia and anorexia, a certain number doesn't make you happy. It's over rated. Once you reach that number you only lower it.
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