Hi Bubblekitty and welcome back
I completely agree about your 'lightbulb' moment, and it really sounds like you're on the right track now! When I first started, I was just like you: I'd tried all of these different diets and gym memberships etc, and nothing seemed to work. I'd always end up being too restrictive with myself and seeing good results for about 3 months or so, and then EVERY TIME after those three months, the motivation would wear off and I'd end up binge eating and going back to where I started from, plus a few extra kilos.
I don't claim to be perfect or know it all, but I really think that just trying to make better food choices and exercising is the way to go. It's not about depriving yourself or cutting out entire food groups: it's about enjoying things in moderation and working that into your eating plan. For example, I'm a massive chocolate addict, but instead of eating a (family
) block several times a week, I just have a little bit every now and again and I find it helps to keep the cravings away. If you deprive yourself, you just end up craving that particular thing more and end up on binge eating. (Been there and done that recently!)
Most importantly, when/if you do slip up, it's important to realise that you just have to put it behind you and move on. DON'T GIVE UP! I went on a binge a couple of weeks or go, and then just suddenly thought 'what am I doing to myself? I've worked SO hard to lose this weight, and if I continue to do this, I'm just going to end up back where I started again'. So I stopped. That was a big deal to me, because every other time, I'd just given up and thought 'well, my diet is ruined now, it doesn't matter....' and kept on eating. Two weeks or so later, I've reached a new lowest weight!
Just remember: we didn't put all of this weight on in just a few weeks/months, so we can't expect to lose it all that quickly either
All the best, I know you can do it this time!