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Motivating others to lose weight?

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Motivating others to lose weight?

Postby Garfield » Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:36 pm

Well, my boyfriend weighed himself the other day. I didn't think he was very overweight, only slightly... but then he told me how much he weighs... it is much more than I thought. Now I have concerns for his health, especially since both of his parents are overweight and both have diabetes, plus his dad has already had a heart attack (recovered thank goodness).
Basically my question is: how can I nicely suggest that my boyfriend start exercising more and watching what he eats?
I don't want to start a fight or make him feel bad. I want to do it in a way that lets him know that I still love him and find him attractive.
Any suggestions or experiences with this would be appreciated. Thanks guys.
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Postby chubbybubby » Tue Oct 03, 2006 9:17 pm

Although its not 100% true, I think if it was me, I might say that in order for you to achieve your goals, you need his help, ie you would love him to be your exercise partner, you cant have him eating junk or drinking because it makes it difficult for YOU to stay motivated and on track.... That way, no hurt feelings, and you both get the benefits... I would think that he would be happy to help you out?
I suppose if not, then just honestly come out and say that you are a little concerned for his health. I wish I had done that for my dad sooner. He smoked 60 cigarettes a day, ate junk, (was about 25kgs overweight) and did no exercise at all. He had a heart attack at 38. Thank god he was ok, but I wish I had of offered that support BEFORE something like that happened. (he has now lost 20kgs, walks daily, and although he hasnt stopped :? he has cut down substantially on smokes) Just say that you are concerned, because you love him, and you dont want to lose him.... good luck with it hun! xx
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Postby chubbybubby » Tue Oct 03, 2006 9:19 pm

Oh, and make sure that your concerns are totally NOT cosmetic... make sure he knows you think he is the sexiest guy on earth! :lol:
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Postby chubbybubby » Tue Oct 03, 2006 9:21 pm

Damn I cant edit that... lol I meant make sure HE KNOWS that its totally not cosmetic, not make sure it isnt cosmetic.. you already said that lol :P
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Postby Ally » Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:28 am

I agree with Chubbybubby Garfield. I would probably try the honesty thing first. At least that way he knows that you are concerned about his health, not his looks. My husband very gently sat me down one day and told me his concerns about my weight. He told me that he loved and that would never change, but he was scared that I was going to die before my time. He reinforced that he loved me no matter what, but really felt that I needed to do something for my own healths sake.

Love him and support him and tell him that you can get fitter and healthier together. However if you feel that he won't be able to take that much honesty in one hit...do the I need motivation to help me keep going..will you walk with me etc.

Cook him some really yummy low fat recipes, that he won't even know are good for him!! Most of the time men just think that losing weight is about "rabbit food", but if you show him how well you can eat and still lose weight, he might catch on!!

With your concerns for his health, I hope that you are able to help him Garfield. Let us know how you go.
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Postby KimE » Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:49 am

I feel honesty is the best policy but you will be the best judge of that and definitely reinforce how you feel about him so he knows it isn't about how he looks.

I would love for my hubby to make some changes even if it was just exercising but he isn't interested and that's the thing they have to want to do it themselves. I am not the sort to nag someone into anything as I hate that being done to me so he has to make the decision to get off his butt for himself. Although if he does ask me any questions in relation to his health etc I don't hold back as it is the only way to get it through his skull. They can't help but get a little bit interested when they see such a change like my hubby has. I'm rambling...it's just bloody difficult that's all.
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:24 am

hi garfield

i agree with the girls :) you dont want to be a hypocrite though but you are concerned for his health. maybe he should get his sugar levels checked too if there is a history of diabetes.
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Postby Garfield » Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:40 pm

Thankyou everyone for the advice. Honesty seems to be the way to go. I'll try and find an appropriate moment to talk to him about it. I'll let you know how it goes after I talk to him.
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Postby Garfield » Wed Oct 11, 2006 9:47 pm

Ok, I am a pussy.
I was going to raise the issue on the weekend, but I ended up eating just about everything in sight over those few days. I couldn't say anything to him then because that would be so hypocritical.
He completely surprised me last night by saying he was going to try and get healthy! He came up with it himself without me mentioning a thing! I'm so proud of him for taking the first step and deciding he wants to do it for himself. :D
Awesome. Crisis over, and I get to be a complete pussy and not have to deal with any awkward conversations :D
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Postby Ally » Thu Oct 12, 2006 5:56 am

Oh Garfield that is just funny and exciting all in one!! Glad you don't have to be a "pussy" anymore!!! But glad your other half has made the decision to get healthy!!! It may be easier with having a "weight loss buddy" with you now!!! Wish him all the best!
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Postby kate_turner2000 » Thu Oct 12, 2006 6:43 am

Hi garfield

i agree with ally, now you have a buddy through thick and thin and you can support each other on the way. make sure you motivate him though, sometimes people say these things - i know i did! "oh ill start tomorrow" and never do. lol. but that is great news :)
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Postby KimE » Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:05 am

Yeah that turned out great then Garfield. If you talk about it enough pertaining to yourself they can't help but get some ideas I find.
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Postby MagicGirl79 » Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:50 pm

I know I'm a bit late posting on this topic but...

My boyfriend was actually the one who made me start to lose weight because he actually did have the balls to tell me I'd put on too much weight. Though he didn't use those words...

It was New Years Eve Dec 31st 2004 and he said to me that I should consider losing some weight because he was worried about my health and that he would appreciate me being around for quite a lot longer. At the time, it hurt like hell, but that same week, I went to my local Weight Watchers meeting and joined up and I've never looked back.

You have to remember that it may hurt at the time, but like any criticism, most people will think more about it when the hurt has died down and take your advice on board. You have to not be scared and just bite the bullet in those situations I think.
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Postby Ally » Sat Oct 14, 2006 6:19 am

Hi Kate (magicgirl), yeah it does hurt a bit when our other half say stuff like that and I don't know about you, but I got really angry for a bit as well!! But the more I sat and stewed on it the more I realised my hubbie was right! Good on you for taking the positive road and choosing to lose the weight!! You have made amazing progress so far!!
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Postby Garfield » Sat Oct 14, 2006 10:19 am

Thanks everybody, and well done magicgirl.
I know I really should have said something, but now that he's decided to do it for himself I'll just have to be braver when he needs support.
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