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Why did you gain in the first place?

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Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby e&me » Sat Nov 06, 2010 9:42 am

I just offered some advice to a new member- As long as you address the reasons why you gained weight in the first place then you will have a good chance of maintaining- or something along those lines...

Its one thing to give advice, its another to listen to your own advice! I dont really understand why I gained weight to start with and I think thats why I am struggling to get down to a healthy size, and why I started gaining again when I was a couple of kg off my goal weight. I had gone from 98kg down to 71kg without issues, but for some reason I got stuck and slowly got back up to 80kg and yo-yo'd for about 12 months. I dont know why I have such an addiction with food, I know I eat more when I am stressed but that cant be the whole story cause I never used to have any stress when I was younger, life was easy for me in my early 20's.

So have you spent time working out what caused it? and how did you find a way to overcome this issue?
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22/01/2011 Week 3
29/01/2011 Week 4
5/02/2011 Week 5
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26/02/2011 Week 8
5/03/2011 Week 9
12/03/2011 Week 10
19/03/2011 Week 11
26/03/2011 Week 12
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby Carly :) » Sat Nov 06, 2010 11:16 am

I totally feel you there, I am in that boat :( at once stage i falk out so much money for a gym membership and
a personal trainer and i did lose weight, however i didnt quite know how to maintain the same level of exercise or my eating plan so
slowly, but surely, my weight began climbing once again!

Ever since i was a child i had big meals, and two snacks, my mother would cook roasts almost every night - never salads lol,
half the plate was carbs like potato, pumpkin or pasta!!! And i seriously thought that was the way we were ment to eat.
Obviously there isnt enough talk about the importance of eating right. I love my mum but gee i got into some bad habits,
and when i moved out of home i pretty much took those lessons with me.
So ask yourself the habits you were taught from your parents :) Did you always have desert? Or was ur lunch packed with carbs?
In your 20s were you fussed with diet crazes and did u follow your friends in their eating habits? xx
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby brendan » Sat Nov 06, 2010 11:35 am

In my case I was fit and healthy before I got married, but my bride wasn't as fit or healthy. She wanted to get fit too, but couldn't jog or walk fast so I slowed down to her pace which was no exercise at all. Eventually we stopped even doing those walks, and also my diet changed to match hers. After about 5 years I'd ballooned out from 75kg to 150kg. Unfortunately my wife died of cancer a few months ago (ironically her weight dropped from 105kg to 80kg in about 4 months, but she just wasted away). I am hoping to turn that negative into positive by getting down to the weight I used to be.
It took a few years to get to my peak weight so I am expecting it to take a while to get back down there - currently my target is 31/3/2012, but I will reassess that from time to time.
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End of March - 119kg - 118.7 - made it!

End of April - 115kg
End of May - 111kg
End of June - 107kg
End of July - 103kg
End of August - 99kg
End of September - 95kg
End of October - 91kg
End of year - 81kg TARGET WEIGHT - Optimistic
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby e&me » Sat Nov 06, 2010 12:45 pm

I guess growing up I had similar issues- rule was you ate everything on your plate before you could have the meat or desert, so I got used to eating everything regardless of my hunger levels. But what we ate was not bad foods, Dont remember deep fried foods, but dont think it was always cooked healthily. But our days were not consumed with food, we had basic meals due to there being 6 of us, it was not until I left home that I started gaining weight- while working at KFC... I was able to take home leftover chicken so I did and I could not stop eating it! But even after leaving KFC I still put weight on, I did not think about my weight, never thought it was an issue, I saw myself as being a healthy person in an overweight body, would never accept that I was unhealthy and obese, even when I was nearing 100kg, I still thought I looked ok! I know now that I was not as healthy as I thought I was.
I just wish I could stick to a diet plan, not anything strict, just a healthy plan which includes a balanced diet and exercise but I sabatage my efforts as soon as I start getting close to my goal!
1/01/2011 Start week
8/01/2011 Week 1
15/01/2011 Week 2
22/01/2011 Week 3
29/01/2011 Week 4
5/02/2011 Week 5
12/02/2011 Week 6
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19/03/2011 Week 11
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby laughing_sheep » Sat Nov 06, 2010 1:02 pm

Firstly I want to say to Brendan that I am very sorry for your loss. It must have been devastating to watch your wife die like that. I hope that you can turn it into a positive too. And interestingly enough my motivation for losing weight is largely to do with my health rather than how I look as well.

When I was a teen I was 93 kilos and I went down to 53 kilos in a couple of years. But I was very strict with myself, calorie counted and exercised obsessively (to the point where I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder). Once I stopped counting calories at 19 I felt like I'd been let out of a cage that I'd been in for four years, and I ate and ate and ate and ate. I couldn't stop eating and by the time I turned 21 I was 102 kilos! After three years I got down to 82 but oddly enough it definetly wasn't intentional- I was still eating tons of junk food but at the time I was doing alot of incidental walking. Unfortunately I stopped exercising and started binge eating ALOT- I'd stop at a chinese bakery and I'd buy 6 or 7 different items- usually with cheese, sausage, butter etc, eat a dozen donuts etc and I went back up to 92 in no time at all.

This year in April I made a conscious effort to lose weight and now I'm down to 83.

I think that weight gain is mainly out of EMOTION rather than habit. The reason why I got so overweight and am overweight now is because I have done lots of 'non-hungry' eating. It is emotional eating.

One tip I was given was to write down the thoughts going through my head before a binge, work out what event/feelings are making me want to overeat. That way I could reflect on it and try and work out techniques for when it happened (the urge to overeat) next time.
~Steph~

Starting weight: 92
Current weight: 70
Goal weight: 66
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby Carly :) » Sat Nov 06, 2010 3:33 pm

Whoa Brendan :( I am so sorry to hear that your wife passed away. Thats so sad hun.
It must have been so hard for you to witness the change in your wife and to deal with the loss. :( :(

My partner was very slim and he had a really nice athletic body But i was on the bigger side, i think i weighed 72kg
when he weighed 74kg - he was lean muscle, i was chubby/fatty. Slowly my partners weight became like mine and today he is 85kg but thats not too
bad for his height, he is a bit rounder but still has never had a real weight problem. I have always had a weight problem.
I havent told any one this but i was sexually harrassed in a gym that i worked out in about 3 years ago when i was slim, a man
said a few things to me and touched my leg, so i felt like i rebelled when i quit the gym and gained the weight back.
I feel like i was made to feel so uncomfortable and because he was attracted to my figure at that weight i felt discusted and rebelled.
He also reffered to me as a bimbo.... when he didnt even know me!!!!
Another thing was that partner never said anything nice about my body whether slim or overweight, i was hoping he would tell me i
look nice sometimes but he didnt.
But now it is about myself, i want to change for myself and be happy with my body. It doesnt matter what pthers think about me or
the way i look, it comes down to me being the weight i need to be.
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby kotobird » Sat Nov 06, 2010 4:50 pm

I know for me it's all about overeating due to an emotional relationship with food. I've realised recently that even at meal times, and when I am physically hungry, I still approach my eating emotionally. It's like every opportunity to eat is an opportunity to switch off, forget my problems and use food to make me happy. I would predict that most people who gain weight without realising, and who get to over 10-15kg or more above a healthy weight do so because they use food as stress relief, a nurturer, ways to forget problems, etc. It's quite a shock when you start to observe your relationship with food and really try to figure out why you eat when you're not hungry, or continue eating even though you're full - there's no other reason why this would happen, because our bodies have already given us the signal that we don't need more food - it's our mind, our emotions that keep us eating. I know I have discovered this to be true for me anyway. I've started on a program which addresses this in great detail and I've learnt heaps about my relationship with food, in a really positive and liberating way. I'm not there yet, but I feel like with this new knowledge, I'm destined to get there :)
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby dearne » Mon Nov 15, 2010 3:27 pm

mine was a LLOOONNNGGG process. As a kid, my house would always be the one that everyone wanted to come to because every 2 weeks mum would buy us chocolate and chips and lollies and all the yummy stuff. Our lunch boxes were the most prized to trade with. My brother is the sort of person who can eat whatever he wants and wont put on a mg of weight, me however I stacked it on. We always ate the same, and were always told that we had to eat everything in our lunchboxes otherwise no snack, eat everything on our plate otherwise no dessert and so on and so forth.

In high school, I was always the large one who got teased, so when i was able to take my own lunches, the food got less and less until my aunt died where there ended up being half a sandwich in my lunchbox, and there would be no breakfast and i would sneak to throw out half my tea (on that note i never actually lost the weight, i put it on to a point where i had to wear the largest size school blazer available to boys, yet i was never the biggest girl in class)

uni time was when i was able to be me, everything was about wraps and salads, didnt feel i lost much at all but was able to feel beautiful because guys were attracted to me which had never happened before. then went overseas, still felt fat because all my friends were these beautiful german and spanish size 8's (always got told i wasnt an aussie because of my weight grrrr). met a boy and fell in love over there, so extended my visa so i could work, but all my pay when to support my ex so i could only afford to eat one meal per day if i was lucky - this got me to a size 12-14, and i was overjoyed (not about the method, but the result).

the end of the story is came back home, got back to eating 3-5 meals a day, and took advantage of being able to afford food that i purchased lots of fatty things and no helathy stuff.

so thats why i gained, and now im going to lose.
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby Tyger » Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:24 pm

This is an interesting thread! I'm enjoying reading your reasons.

Mainly because... I don't know why I have gained. I think it has been just good old "taking my body for granted" more than anything else.

As a have always had a big frame, but a slim body on that frame. I've always had a flat stomach and an athletic figure. This was all through my teenage years, and my early 20s. I hardly fluctuated in weight at all from the age of about 14 - 24. I was always around 67-69kg. I would eat anything I wanted all the time. I would exercise incidentally, but never make a real effort to. Just naturally active Then it literally felt like one day I looked in the mirror and saw this really busty, curvy figure with big hips and jelly thighs, and I thought... "hold on a sec, what is this?" It was shortly after that I joined a gym, hopped on the scales, and saw the number 80 materialize. I was mortified.

I don't mean to say it happened quickly, I'm sure it was very gradual, which is why I was in denial about it. I still feel like that lean athletic girl, so I feel weird when I look at my big legs and butt, like it's not me or something. My boobs are HUGE now too. Bleh.

So in conclusion, I must say it happened because I took my fast metabolism for granted, and just thought I was "immune" to this kind of thing. There was a lot of denial going on, that's for sure. This year I have encountered more body-hatred then I ever did in my teens or at any stage of my life thus far, and it's an awful feeling and I'm keen to be rid of it asap.
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby dearne » Thu Nov 25, 2010 9:38 am

Tyger wrote:As a have always had a big frame, but a slim body on that frame. I've always had a flat stomach and an athletic figure. This was all through my teenage years, and my early 20s. I hardly fluctuated in weight at all from the age of about 14 - 24. I was always around 67-69kg. I would eat anything I wanted all the time. I would exercise incidentally, but never make a real effort to. Just naturally active Then it literally felt like one day I looked in the mirror and saw this really busty, curvy figure with big hips and jelly thighs, and I thought... "hold on a sec, what is this?" It was shortly after that I joined a gym, hopped on the scales, and saw the number 80 materialize. I was mortified.
.


Thats one funny thing i have noticed, those who eat lots and are skinny in their teens, it finally catches up with them in their adulthood, where one piece of chocolate just makes you balloon. My brother had the same thing, where he ate lots and now hes getting a llittle belly, but hes scarred because while he was a teen he was the same weight as my dad was when he was a teen, and they both ate the same things as a teen.... my dad i think now tips the scales somewhere between 150-180kg (dont know exact but hes not little, i cant get my arms around him at all)

scary huh?
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby Tyger » Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:17 am

Spot on Dearne - I think that kind of lax attitude that "I won't put on weight" eventually bites us in the ass!! I know I'm paying for it now. Most people can easy put their finger on it and say something like "yes, I was depressed and started eating the wrong things" or "I stopped my exercise routine when I started working" etc. As for me, I have never had any of these simple, obvious correlations. One day I just felt fat, hopped on the scales, and I WAS fat. Ha. Go figure.

At least now I know not to take my body for granted and expect it to just metabolise everything. I adore food, so it's a hard road, but I'm 26 now, and I can't keep eating triple serves of pasta and the like!
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby Annie this time » Sun Nov 28, 2010 6:08 pm

I have always battled the bulge and have yo yo dieted most of my adult life. I have really gone down hill since my marriage break down nearly 2 years, my husband was unfaithful and I was madly in love with him and was left absolutely shattered. I went on anti depressants for the first time in my life last year as I was coping but feel this really just made it 10 times worse, I felt better but the weight stacked on. I've been off the meds since February and my weight has pretty much stabilised but I now find I have 38.7 kg that I want to lose. Mentally I am coping fine but my poor body has taken a massive toll.

The switch has only just flicked over for me, I feel now is my time and I have started this weight loss journey (which I did not run into blindly, I've taken a week to prepare myself mentally for the massive inevitable change I am going to go through). I am very excited to be doing this. Today is officially day 1 ! Wohoo!

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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby yogibbear » Sat Jan 15, 2011 2:25 am

Had back surgery 2 years ago (had a cyst removed) and started full time work after uni, oh and moved out of home, though i cook quite well... which is probably the problem..(i've never been a big fan of take away foods and can only eat pizza/thai if I am forced to due to being out with friends). So... juggling going to see nurses for 2 years every single morning before work (as it only just healed after christmas) and working fulltime in a semi-stressful environment = gained about 15kg.

So.,.... kinda annoyed.

Though before that back surgery i was probably 5-8 kg of excess fat. But i was never big on weights and just played tennis 6 days a week. So i think now that i'm throwing in weights into my routine and doing cardio that has a bit more endurance to it (rather than the stop-start nature of tennis) i am getting results... (though i've only started exercising and eating properly (no carbs! minimal dairy, no alcohol, 4 litres of water a day). However i'm just at the start of my journey so i've got a long way to go. But i'd like to think i can knock off 10 kg in 3 months....
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby newyork » Wed Jan 19, 2011 5:53 pm

I'm at a loss as to how I will overcome my problems. I think about food all the time, always thinking of what I will eat next, stuffing my face till I can't move. It has been that way for about 10 yrs.

When I was growing up, we had dinner at the table every night, usually meat and veg, plenty of potato and always bread. We had to eat everything on our plate, and could have ice-cream every second night. We did not have any junk in the house, only plain biscuts ( never cream which I always dreamed of! ). Our lunch box was 2 plain biscuts and a jam sandwich, and we were allowed a lunch order a few times a year which was a big treat!!! Any junk food we could get our hands on, maybe at someone eles house was relished. When I got to high school and had a few dollars the tuckshop was a dream cause I could have an ice-cream everyday if I wanted and the parents would never know. From my teens onwards, I would eat junk, just beacuse I could. Though if I had it at home, it would always be hidden. Even now, if my sisters or I bring maccas home, its only because dad is not there!

So, I've always thought that I eat and eat now, just because I can and no one can stop me. I have the money, I can drive to the shops if I want a packet of tim tams and kick arse bag of chips and then eat them in one sitting, and no one can stop me. Though I don't like people seeing this, it's very hidden. I once hid a pizza in my cupboard when my boyfriend came home unexpectantly from work for a break. I heard him drive in, then ran and put the box with most of the pizza left in it, in the bottom of my cupboard on my shoes!!! I can'y remember if I ate it when he left 10 min later but I'm sure I did. And, just yesterday, I ate a chocolate bar in my room to hide it from my brother! I'm 29!!!!

Also, even when my weight has been good, people will still criticise if I eat something wrong. Like if I fell like maccas, when I was at my lowest weight/exercising, then I get comments like " what are you eating that censored for". Well, I know its pretty censored food wise, but I'm eatign it cause I just felt like it!!!! :evil:

I'm 155cm, and was always around 55kg which was perfect for my weight. It gradually piled over 6 or so years. At my heaviest I was 80kg, and was there for about a year. I went on Jenny Craig which was great as I don't cook, and got down to 68kg pretty quick I then moved interstate, and am happier living here, but have yo-yoed from 62-68kg all last year!!!! So frustrating cause my goal is to be under 60kg, and was just 2 kg away a few times , but can't crack it. WHY??????????????

I mean, how do I fix this? When I think about eating, it's not beacuse anything inparticular has just happened ( stress, happiness ), it's just because I have a taste for somehting and must have it.

Would appreciate any advice, as I 'm not sure how to beat this- argh!!!!!!!! At the moment, I'm 68kg again :(

Cheers!
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Re: Why did you gain in the first place?

Postby kimbali » Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:32 pm

Ooh, i love this thread! It's a great idea and so true, how are we meant to fix anything if we don't know what caused it?

I've been big ALL my life...when i was in primary school i can remember family members commenting on puppy fat, so clearly somebody thought it was a problem! I was teased relentlessly in primary school, partly i guess coz i was big, mostly i think coz i was a nerd, lol. I wasn't the type of kid to play sports, i was, and still am much more interested in anything that doesn't require raising a sweat! I played netball one season, but couldn't the next because my mum said it was too hard to get me to netball and my brothers to footy. How inconvenient of me! So I just gave up on sports altogether!

Being harassed did absolutely nothing for my self confidence, and it's taken me a long time to accept i am what i am! We were never allowed treats, well, we were lucky if we were allowed, so i learnt to cook, when i was 10. And what does every ten year old want? CAKE! I had three brothers so lunches turned into an expensive thing to have treats, so i'd bake them instead. So I think that is part of the problem, like others have mentioned, not being allowed anything just makes you want it so much more!

During my teenage years I had a lot of jobs, and more money for crap... so i'd buy junk for myself. Softdrink, chocolate, anything sweet, you name it! And I don't think i was huge still, overweight yes, but not too bad. And that was when my mother started....i pretty much spent the last 5 years of living at home on a diet. So after being tormented as a kid, in a way then my mum started. She was never nasty, it was more what i did wasn't good enough, so i still didn't get to gain that confidence. She'd make me walk for hours on end and it just made me hate it even more!

When I was 17, i got down to 67kg, which i think was my smallest, other than being really young. But being only 153cm tall, i was still too big I thought. And even though i'd lost about 13kg (if i remember correctly) it still wasn't good enough. My mum constantly would be showing me the height weight table to show how much further i had to go (after re-reading, i sound incredibly bitter about my mothers efforts,don't get me wrong, i know she was trying to help, but backing off a bit might have helped more!). I'd be over the moon to be that small now!

So when I finally did move out it was my chance to party! I ate, and drank, and ate, whatever, whenever I wanted. I was sick of counting points, and veges, and exercise, well screw that! The most exercise I ever got was from the lounge to the fridge! But in saying that, I didn't rise in weight too badly, i was 90kg 4 years after leaving home.

So then I lost about 10kg in a month after I left my abusive ex, quite simply by not eating. I'd have lunch, a chicken salad sandwich and that was it. But I got over that pretty quickly, and 4 years on, am now sitting around 110kg. When i started seeing my current bf, i ate reasonably healthy, though i was still big, and then the bowls of icecream and custard started. He too is a big guy, and an incredibly bad influence, even though i know its my fault.

So in summary, lol, after my novel, i honestly think my weight comes down to a variety of things. Incredibly poor self esteem for over 20 years did nothing to help, combined with my complete laziness. And my brain was trained to always want what I was never allowed to have, so when i could have it, i had it all! But after all of that, and admission that my meal sizes are probably still a little too large, food isn't 100% my problem, i can sort the food side of things, without much hassle at all (except for the sugar cravings, i have a feeling they're going to kick in soon), it's the exercise that is gonna be my biggest problem. It's taken me years to realise, i'm always going to be big. I'm too damned short for my damned solid frame, (which might sound like a cop out, but despite being a measly 5ft, i'm not built to be petite) but guess what, it's OK! I just don't have to be THIS big. So my journey has started, and it's gonna be a journey. I've got 43kg to lose to get to 67kg. Anything past that is a bonus...although i was pretty disheartened the other day to discover that even at 67kg my BMI would still be in the overweight range. Sucks being short!

SO Yeah, that's it. I think. LOL, i probably just missed the point of the question! Off to an auction now to try to get me an exercise bike! :D
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