It is currently Tue Dec 06, 2016 4:49 pm

Free Newsletter

Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Anything and everything concerning weight loss.

Moderator: Moderators

Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Postby jessmeow » Tue Jan 25, 2011 3:30 pm

Hi everyone,

I’m in serious need of some advice from anyone and everyone.
I posted a thread about this about a week ago but it has disappeared so here goes again..

I recently found out I got into University which is awesome and everything but I can’t decide whether to go or defer. What’s this got to do with weight loss you ask? Well my weight is entirely the issue.. I’m worried that my weight will stop me from making friends and having the supposedly awesome experiences you’re supposed to have at uni. I was thinking it would be a great way to meet people because I don’t have a lot of friends but my weight controls everything. I worry people will ask me to hang out somewhere and my self confidence will force me to say no and they will stop asking me out. And these are just ‘friendly’ possibilities never mind the idea of relationship possibilities because to me at the moment that’s laughable.

I keep convincing myself to wait until next year because I know I’ll be thinner by then. I’ve been on the bandwagon for over 5 months and while I’ve lost a lot I don’t feel it’s enough. I don’t want the stress of ‘fitting in’ to impact my studies.

Then on the other hand how stupid is it to let my weight literally put my life on hold! Maybe if I wasn’t supposed to go this year I wouldn’t have got in. And who says people will like me anymore just because I’m slimmer next year?! Plus another million little points I can come up with to go. And not to go.

So everyone I would really appreciate any advice you can give me. Anything seriously! I just have no idea what to do and I have to decide by TOMORROW! Urgh.

I feel like a complete drama queen but that’s really how I feel.

Thanks for reading :)
- jessmeow.
jessmeow
 
Posts: 54
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:57 pm

Re: Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Postby nature » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:01 pm

The key to setting weight loss goals is to follow the standard of goal setting. It needs to be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and tangible. Your first step is determining if you really need to lose weight.
Last edited by EvilWombatQueen on Tue Feb 15, 2011 12:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Advertising links in signatures are not allowed.
nature
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:56 pm

Re: Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Postby bettenoir » Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:25 pm

You should read this blog - http://stophatingyourbody.tumblr.com/ it's truly wonderful, and has helped a lot of people gain the confidence they need to pursue things in life without issues like their weight getting in the way.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I have :)
Image
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter
bettenoir
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2011 12:49 am

Re: Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Postby ganymede » Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:43 am

Hi Jess,

If you are happy with the progess you have already made and continue to do so, your mood is going to reflect on other people and they will see your personality, not physical attributes. If they are true friends they would not judge you whatsoever and love you for who you are. If you are still striving towards your goals and studying something you really enjoy, it is only going to help you through it and keep you as positive as humanly possible. I understand wanting to have a "new start" and being afraid of what others might think but University is a lot different from high school. People are less likely to be rude and horrible, people have learnt and grown up and are there for the same reasons as you are.

So I say, go for it! There is a reason you've got into Uni when you did and obtaining intellectual goals as well as physical goals will only improve your motivation.

All the best :)

Shelley
- Shelley

"You get whatever you settle for."

GOAL: To live life happy and healthy, to experience nature to the fullest through hiking, wading and climbing. To have that everlasting energy to achieve the things I want to achieve.
User avatar
ganymede
 
Posts: 1045
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 5:52 pm

Re: Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Postby sizing_down » Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:47 pm

Back in '01 when I was in the same position as you I was very (as in cripplingly) shy and had been battling my weight for a couple of years. I took a year off during which time I travelled overseas with family members and worked and then become an external student. I never spent a day on campus and that was ok but I did miss out. I've also done a postgrad degree and that was entirely external too.
If you really don't feel ready for uni and decide to defer then that's ok too- you may really need a little more time to get yourself to a point where you can give it your best but I'd encourage you to go on campus even though it means facing up to a lot of personal anxieties.
I'm sure if you do go this year you will find the people who will appreciate you for who you are and respect that you need some support with your weight loss goals. You will need to develop some really good stress management habits that have nothing at all to do with food because you will find yourself under a lot of stress at times and it is very easy to completely derail your efforts.

There are good reasons to defer that have nothing to do with your weight loss goals and you need to think them through. If you were to take time out to work for a year or travel (and yes I know that travelling takes some serious self confidence) it will make a big difference to your worldview, may make you more employable after uni (employers generally prefer employees with a good work history over those with nothing but a shiny new degree certificate) and will give you some extra motivation to not just have a great time at uni but also get some decent marks and succeed.

I know I haven't given you answers but hope that at least gives you something to think about and wish you all the best with whatever you choose.
Miriam.
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wYY4HVE/]
Image
[/url]

12 Week Challenge Goal 28th Febuary 2011 68.6kg

Starting weight: September '10 83kg
sizing_down
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Thu Dec 09, 2010 11:27 pm
Location: NSW

Re: Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Postby SkinnyBride2B » Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:18 pm

Dear Jessmeow,

I finished uni in 2009 and you know what - it was one of the best things ive ever done - i met my fiance there and came out after 5 years with a law degree.

If your weight is the only thing stopping you - dont let it. This is such an amazing opportunity and have made life long friends. I was overweight iin my first year = I even lost close to 20kg in my second year of uni - i would call into the campus gym on my way back from class and i generally felt good about myself. I had the exact same mates after i lost the weight as i did when i was chunky (and still have them).

You'll make friends - its a very social place - and while you may come across all the skinny minnies - there will be people in the exact same position as you - if they can do it so can you. And you may even find encouragement in each other.

And you know what - if you get there and really do hate it - you can always defer after the first semester and know in your heart that you gave it the best shot you could.

Grab the opportunity with both hands and make the most of it - God knows life after uni isnt as much fun.

All the best hey xxxx
SkinnyBride2B
 
Posts: 131
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2011 9:58 am

Re: Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Postby jessmeow » Wed Jan 26, 2011 8:08 pm

Thanks everyone for your replies and comments. I very much appreciate it! :)

Just a little update as of tonight I have officially defered for a year. I had a chat with some family and I decided my number one priority at the moment needs to be losing weight. I realise a lot of comments pointed out that my weight shouldn't and probably wouldn't hold me back at university but I'm not ready to find out yet. I would hate to start and stress out over everything and turn back to food. I'd like to think that I would have the motivation and will power to stop that but it isn't worth the risk to me. It's only one year and next year will just be even more awesome.

It might seem silly and part of me agrees but I've made my decision and I actually feel ok about it which makes me believe it was the right thing to do. Yesterday when I went to click the 'accept' button it just made me very anxious.

Anyhow, thanks again! I really did find your advice helpful (even if I didn't follow it exactly lol)

<3 jessmeow
jessmeow
 
Posts: 54
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:57 pm

Re: Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Postby äirly » Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:48 am

Hey Jess,

I see you've already made your choice :wink: for what its worth, I dont think there is a *bad* answer - if you had gone ahead with uni this year that would have probably worked out, but defering for a year and concentrating on your weight works too :D

I actually wish I had worked a year before uni rather than rushing in after highschool - for a lot of reasons that had nothing to do with my weight - so there are other benefits as well.

Speaking in general of your weight holding you back from things, I too get this a lot. For example, I dont go out much anymore - I mean, I will if I really want to, its someones birthday etc. But otherwise I feel too self concious, and think I will have an awful time, have nothing good to wear, look chubby etc. But the thing is, those times I do censored it and do it... I actually have a great time! And I do regret those times I've missed great nights, great oppotunities, just because I'm a little overweight. I dont really have any answers to this though :(

Anyway, sounds like this is your year :) go get em girl!
HW: 84kgs (2011) got down to 67kgs (2012)
SW: 74kgs - (2013) post baby!
CW: 68kgs (Updated 6 May 2014)
GW: 62-64kgs (size 10)
äirly
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:38 pm

Re: Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Postby ganymede » Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:38 am

Hey Jess,

I totally understand from both stand points about how you are feeling. I am glad you did what you felt was right for yourself and of course it will make it easier to focus on one thing at a time. You are going to have a great year :)

Shelley
- Shelley

"You get whatever you settle for."

GOAL: To live life happy and healthy, to experience nature to the fullest through hiking, wading and climbing. To have that everlasting energy to achieve the things I want to achieve.
User avatar
ganymede
 
Posts: 1045
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 5:52 pm

Re: Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Postby jessmeow » Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:35 pm

Thanks everyone! :D
jessmeow
 
Posts: 54
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:57 pm

Re: Self confidence and uni. Please read/help :)

Postby yogibbear » Mon Feb 07, 2011 12:32 am

I actually found uni was the best time of my life for exercise. As you ended up spending your whole time there but would have weird hours free during the day. So there was a gym, squash courts, pool, basketball court, grassed areas for soccer/frisbee/rugby/footy/etc.

So..... dunno. I would have said you could make friends and exercise together. E.g. me and a few mates would play squash together for ~2hrs twice a week after classes and before late night lab design projects.

Though if you've already made your mind up then that's that. However, don't let your weight control your life! With the decision you've taken you should be more than motivated to lose the weight as you've now got a clear goal in mind. Good luck! Just set some short term and long term goals, keep a journal, keep some performance metrics to track your progress and you should be great. :)
Image
yogibbear
 
Posts: 95
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:06 pm


Return to Weight loss Talk

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 3 guests