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"You're getting too thin!"

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"You're getting too thin!"

Postby Metalcharm » Sun Mar 27, 2011 7:08 pm

I have now lost a good chunk of weight but know I still have a bit to go. All my measurements still have me as 'overweight' but now people are telling me that I've lost enough and I'm getting too thin.

sigh.

I'm sure it's just because I look thin IN COMPARISON to eight months ago but in reality I am not *thin* at all. I still need to lose some and to tone up.
My mother in law in particular who couldn't wait to make little jibes at me about being overweight before can only tell me how gaunt I look. LOL (although I suspect it's more to do with FINDING fault than then actually being any ;) ) but most people just sort of mention that I've lost enough now and should stop.

Have you had people make comments like that? and what did you think of it?
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby äirly » Mon Mar 28, 2011 2:05 am

Well I haven't really gotten any comments regarding my weight this time again - im not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing to be honest!! :wink: However a few (5 or so) years ago i lost some weight - I was in the healthy weight range to start with, albeit at the higher levels of it - and when i lost 5-6 kgs I was STILL smack bang in the healthy weight range... but still had a few people make comments that took me aback. Nothing nasty per se, but a few 'you looked good before' 'you dont need to lose weight' and so on. Worse were the questions! Why was I losing weight? Was I eating right? Was i still eating at all?? In actual fact the weight loss had nothing to do with anything like that, and I was horribly embarrassed and self conscious by all the attention it drew. Its something I dread now actually, even thinking of it makes me a bit peckish for a tim tam or something :wink: Its not that I mind talking about it or whatever... but its the feeling of being accused of something, of having to defend yourself, that I find awkward and uncomfortable.

I'm not sure what causes it. Perhaps jealousy? Some strange unbalancing on the status quo that people dont like? Who knows.

As for handling it, for me it really depends on the situation. I guess i use more evade and avoidance tactics :roll: but thats just who I am. If someone is determined to discuss my weightloss, or wants to know how much I've lost (and I mean, they're asking in that accusing way, as if how dare you change yourself for the better, not some good friend interested in a supportive way) I usually just do the smile and play dumb thing. What weightloss? Really, you think I've lost weight? Your're so kind, *smile* :wink: :lol: Sorry its probably not that helpful! But anyway, jsut letting you know that you're not the only one who goes through this situation :wink:
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby electrongirl » Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:15 am

That's sucks! I'm sorry these people are being that way! Grrr!

I get a lot of "You don't need to lose weight, we love you just the way you are." from my MIL, who weighs 100lb (45kg) by the way! I love her to death but she doesn't get it sometimes.
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby court » Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:52 pm

I was 92kgs and I got down to 65kgs (right now at around 69kgs :cry: haha) and when I was at 65kgs I got this ALOT and ... :lol: sorry to sounds conceited and narcissistic but I loved it cos finally people werent concerned about how fat i was! I want to get back to that point!! :lol:
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby äirly » Thu Mar 31, 2011 1:29 am

electrongirl wrote:That's sucks! I'm sorry these people are being that way! Grrr!

I get a lot of "You don't need to lose weight, we love you just the way you are." from my MIL, who weighs 100lb (45kg) by the way! I love her to death but she doesn't get it sometimes.



LOL yeah :wink:
HW: 84kgs (2011) got down to 67kgs (2012)
SW: 74kgs - (2013) post baby!
CW: 68kgs (Updated 6 May 2014)
GW: 62-64kgs (size 10)
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby dragonfly » Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:52 pm

i get it as well, and really my BMI is still 44 or soemthing, I am overweight by 60-70 kilos, if not more?? and I am getting the oh you're fading away, and gosh dont loose too much.

I think people are just jelous, and feel threatened that someone else can do what they cant do.
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby cailea » Mon Apr 04, 2011 8:21 pm

Yep metalcharm...happening to me too. I think it does to everyone that loses a reasonably significant amount of weight!

I have lost 57kg but still have about another 12-15kg to go, so I am certainly not at my sensible goal weight and yet they still say, "that's enough", " you'll fade away", "thin is just as unattractive as fat", "you will make yourself unwell"...blah blah blah you know the rest ;)

My favourite is the people trying to feed me! Not lunch, or sensible healthy food...no the shoving cake etc in my face and using the I made it just for you and trying to use guilt to make me eat it....it's just mean...but I come off as mean when I stand firm and get the "food obesessed" mutterings behind my back.

I am not sure what it is. I am not entirely convinced its jealousy over looks as others have suggested, I think it makes people uncomfortable that you have taken control of your life so obviously.

Never mind....I am learning to zone out as I am sure you are metal :)
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby CronicBadger » Tue Apr 05, 2011 11:30 pm

I've been copping those comments recently from family and friends:
"You've lost enough, stop already"
"You don't need to lose any more"
And so on.

I think it's partly that they are resisting change. A fat person turning into a thin person also, by necessity, changes their personality. A new person, almost.

I've always been overweight or obese, especially for the last 15 years, but now I look relatively thin compared with a year ago. I am still a few kilos overweight but I'm not the same fat person they were comfortable with. I'm more focused, health and goal-oriented than in the past and I think people who've known me for a long time get uncomfortable with such a fundamental change.

As a result I'm beginning to avoid any potential confrontation because I know it will quickly descend into an unresolvable argument. The thing I have to keep reminding myself though, is that I'm doing this for my long-term health and happiness. I'll accept and consider other people's opinions for their different perspective - but I know my decisions are correct from a medical POV and I won't change just because some people get a bit upset that I'm ignoring their advice. Tough.
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby Metalcharm » Wed Apr 06, 2011 8:36 am

Great posts .. thanks for all your thoughts on it.

My favourite is the people trying to feed me! Not lunch, or sensible healthy food...no the shoving cake etc in my face and using the I made it just for you and trying to use guilt to make me eat it....it's just mean...but I come off as mean when I stand firm and get the "food obesessed" mutterings behind my back.


You're damned if you do and damned if you don't there I think! If you taken the cake then people would be raising thier eyebrows and muttering that you're never going to keep the weight off :lol:
(and congratulations on your loss - that's fantastic!)

The most common question I get is "how are you doing it? What diet are you on?" and people look a little skeptical when I say I just stopped eating less and started moving more. Part of this is, I think, that people that haven't seen me for a while and they think that the loss has been quick where in reality it's taken about eight months
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby laughing_sheep » Fri Apr 08, 2011 10:57 pm

I've had a few people I haven't seen in a while say 'You've lost a lot of weight'. And that's all they've said, so its not really a compliment or negative comment. I smile and say 'I have, thankyou for noticing'. It makes me feel awkward, but at the same I would probably do the same to someone who had lost alot of weight too.
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby 67kilogoal » Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:50 am

I have always been overweight and haven't heard those word directed towards me before, but I have noticed that people categorise each other. You can't just become a thin person. In their eyes you will always be a fat person (who just lost a bit of weight). If you have always been overweight in front of these friends then they are used to your round face. Once the weight drops off your face can narrow and to them it can seem unhealthy. They also say you are too thin now more as a compliment (they love you no matter how you look), and some people may be scared you are turning anerexic (they care about you). One day I want to hear those words from my 'enemies'. Those people who will be a few grams heavier than me (and unfit), and make them really jealous (but I still can't see it happening :( ). Just show your loved ones you are healthy and happy and one day they will accept you for the thin person you have now become. :D
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby Carley » Tue Apr 19, 2011 3:16 pm

I get this too, I'm around 68 kilos too. I wonder why people can't be more supportive? Sometimes I think they are a tad jealous.
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby SoupStar » Wed Apr 20, 2011 12:21 am

I lost 30kg and my boss pulled me aside and asked me if I had cancer. :roll:
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby Metalcharm » Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:22 am

SoupStar wrote:I lost 30kg and my boss pulled me aside and asked me if I had cancer. :roll:

LOL .. I've lost 30kg too AND I did the world's greatest shave ... people who I hadn't seen for a long while thought the same thing!! I'd be chatting to them and they'd say ... "soo, everything okay?" :lol:
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Re: "You're getting too thin!"

Postby äirly » Fri May 06, 2011 1:13 am

Hah, cancer, too funny. Well i havent lost enough for it to be quite that dramatic :P Gosh I have NO IDEA what one would say in that situation.
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SW: 74kgs - (2013) post baby!
CW: 68kgs (Updated 6 May 2014)
GW: 62-64kgs (size 10)
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