It seems that we've all got friends/co-workers/relatives who (often unknowingly) try their hardest to sabotage our efforts to lose weight - I was hoping you might be able to give me some advice on a situation I faced the other night.
Two of my friends and I were lucky enough to be given free tickets the ballet last week. They were two of my close friends and both know that I'm trying very, very hard to lose weight at the moment. Before we went in, they decided to get some Maltesers, and asked if I wanted some, I said no thanks. So in we go and I sit in the middle. My friend, J, opens the Maltesers and puts them on my lap. I said, "Oh, no thanks, I'm still really full from dinner," and pass them to my other friend, F. F has some and puts them back on my lap. I go to pass them back to J and she says, "No, you're in the middle you have to hold them!" So I suggested that we swap seats so that they could sit next to each other and share. F then says, "Oh for f***'s sake, just hold them! There's practically no chocolate on them anyway!" Ummmm ok... the lights go down and the orchestra's warming up. There was about three left by now, and if nothing else I was sick of holding the box. So I first offer them to J - "Ugh, I've eaten way too many, you just have them." So I offer them to F - she grabs two, leaving one and said that J should have the last one. As I'm passing it over, she shoves the box back in to me and screeches (yes, people stared) "F***ing hell, just eat them, what is wrong with you!!" so G snatches the box back, grabs the last one and said to me, "You could've just eaten it." The night was quite awkward after that and I could tell they both thought it was my fault.
Now, I understand that me not having any was making them feel guilty, but that reaction was not warranted. Did I do the right thing? Do I say something? And if I do, how do I say it without coming across self-righteous? I've come across sabotage before but never anything quite so blatant. F is my absolute best friend as well - when I think about it, the only fights we've ever had are about food. I don't want to make her feel bad or like I'm judging her, but I want it to be clear that I won't sacrifice my own goals just so she doesn't have to feel guilty about her food choices. Help!
GW: Less than I weigh now...