I hate to get off topic, but sometimes self love is so relevent to how we feel about ourselves.
I believe that you need to recreate your belief system, and stop your negativity and concentrate on being more positive.
Loving yourself regardless of your size. The weight will come off, when you allow it to. We are all capable of self sabotage (I am the worst offender on this board!
I would love to talk to you further via MSN, phone or email, to talk to you about your faith in yourself.
Sometimes weightloss is not all about foods, excercise and calorie counting, it goes much deeper than that.